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So hurt and disappointed

Posts: 10
Joined: May 2011

I was in the hospital for 12days after high dose chemo and a stem cell transplant. My brother and sister did not even visit me. I thought they cared about me. I visited each of them when they had much shorter hospital stays for much more benign conditions. It just made me realize how unimportant I am to them.... I just feel so hurt.

When I told them that I felt disappointed, they each expressed anger (think this is b/c they felt guilty?) and now we don't talk. I never expected to be treated this way by them. Neither one of them even called me during my 3month recovery after my hospital stay. My sister called me after 3mos and asked me if I was feeling better now and invited me to a family gathering. I told her that I would not attend and that I felt it was terrible that she and my brother could not be there for me during by far the most difficult time in my life.

I'm done with them. I feel sad about this, but I wouldn't treat my dog the way they treated me. I'm going to create a family of friends for myself and my family, now that I'm feeling more energy and can get out more often

I do feel so lonely sometimes b/c for so long I felt so terrible, that I don't have many friends left. I look forward to continued health and stamina so that I can get out there and be social again.

This experience has just been so painful for me.

Posts: 9
Joined: Nov 2012

You sound like you are the right path for recovery on both sides. You just need to get out there and enjoy your life even if your family does not treat you as you want.

I have a daughter who has never even asked why I got sick and retired from work to heal from Myelona. I just live with it and hope that one day she will turn around, but I am not going to stop living my life. I have friends that I do things with, especially when I am down.

Keep up and stay positive.

Posts: 10
Joined: May 2011

Thank you for inspiring me to get on with my life. I will keep living and stay strong; up and positive.  Thanks again. 

Zappymom12's picture
Posts: 8
Joined: Oct 2015

I have lost so many friends.  I have two brothers.  Both of them have caused problems for every chemo treatment my husband has had.  I'm talking about major problems.  They can't even call and say how are you and how is your kids and husband?  Is there anythings I can do for you?  Can I mow your lawn? Can I trim your shrubs?  No one has brought food over.  Honestly, if it is going to get done, I have to do it.  

It is horrible that that your brothers would treat you this way in a time of great need.  I wish I could of gone to see you.  I would!  It is a huge loss in their lives.  Let God take care of their indifference.  That is what I do.  Forgive, pity them, and I'll be praying you find wonderful friends to comfort and love you.  They are there!

Peace Out!

Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2016

I understand where you're coming from.  I had two best friends and neither one of them ever call to check on me to say hi how you going or can I do anything for you.  I was so hurt and still to this day. 

I was always there for them for less reasons than a life threatening illness, alway there to help them out be shoulder to cry on or whatever they needed, but when I get sick they are no where to be seen or heard.  I does hurt very much.

I was hoping to find some new friends in my area, a survivor's group, people that know and understand what I'm going through.  Even though I am in remission I still have a year and a half of treatments still to go.  Yes the bone strengthening infusions are just as bad sometimes as the chemo.

I'm so sorry Detroitgirl that you do not have the support from your family that you should, especially a sister. But I hope everything works out.

Here is a BIG HUG to warm your heart.

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