My Brother Blake AKA Buckwirth

clever_user_name
clever_user_name Member Posts: 8
edited April 2012 in Colorectal Cancer #1
This is Drummond, Blake's brother, writing from Afghanistan.

After hearing that someone from here was trying to contact my brother by phone, via an email to my sister, Blake's wife Kathy asked that I do a post here regarding his current condition, with the idea that she will read the messages to him.

***The best way to reach Blake is right here. Please post anything you'd like to say and I will forward it to Kathy so she can read your messages to him. I will also forward the messages already posted to Tommycat's post titled "Blake and his condition". It's true that this little forum meant the world to Blake, so I'm sure he will be comforted to hear from each and everyone of you. His sense of humor has never left him... so don't be afraid to tickle his funny bone, which will undoubtedly be among the last one working.***

When I logged on to this forum, I was a little bit surprised to see that an anonymous and personal email was copied to another post ("A message from Blake's Friend"), mentioning me, Kathy and my sister by name. I have no idea who sent that email or why it was posted on a public forum. The email (I think-- there are no quotes to tell where the email starts or ends) gently reprimands Kathy for not participating here, which seems rather cruel-- we all have our own way of dealing with crises of this kind. There are MANY things in that email that are factually incorrect. My brother did NOT grow "weak and angry" with this illness-- he grew strong and compassionate, he shined in his final hour. He might be opinionated and occasionally ornery, but that's a lot different than being angry; sure he's had moments of frustration, but overall, I would say that he actually became much less angry after the diagnosis and as the illness progressed. The statement about Kathy that goes "until we told her to reach out to Desa and Drummond, she had no one to share this journey with" seems to be giving credit to someone else for what Kathy did, rather than giving Kathy the full credit she deserves (for EVERYTHING she's done-- like Blake, she really stepped up to the plate and has been his fierce advocate throughout the ordeal).

I know that the "Message to Blake's Friend" post was well-intended, and harbor no resentments whatsoever to the person who posted it. Just wanted to set the record straight about the subject matter in that post.

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, here's the update: A few days ago, Blake was transferred from his regular hospital, where he was treated for his condition through much of this ordeal, to a hospital that takes hospice patients. There is some confusion about whether he was actually enrolled into hospice when he was transferred, and I am helping Kathy figure that out. Blake is suffering more than he should because the new hospital is not administering adequate pain medication. Poor Kathy was trying to solve this problem on her own and now I am helping to figure out if he's indeed under hospice care. I called the hospice organization that Kathy had been working with before he was transferred and they cited HIPPA laws and could neither confirm nor deny whether he was under their care, but they did confirm that they sometimes see patients at the hospital where he is now located. Kathy fought very hard to get him placed there, as opposed to coming home, because it was what Blake wanted. The day he left the other hospital, all the nurses did a touching sendoff for him, and one of his former work colleagues attended, and also visited him at the new hospital. More work colleagues are planning to visit him Monday. My sister is also on her way to visit him and, probably as a result of the above-mentioned post, she has received emails from people on her facebook account asking how to contact Blake.

At any rate, we will have the hospice situation figured out very soon, and hopefully that will result in more appropriate care, with an advocate Kathy can turn to instead of taking on the hospital on her own. And THANK YOU all for the love and support you have provided to my brother over the past couple of years.

Regards,

Drummond (Blake's brother)

[I just edited this post to clarify the hospital he moved *to*, not from, is the one that takes hospice patients, and also added a paragraph that clarifies I know the "message from Blake's friend" post was well intentioned.]
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Comments

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324
    Thank You Drummond
    This is quite confusing. I'm sure that Gail was not aware that "Blake's Friend" had overstepped the boundaries when she relayed this email to our group.

    Please let Blake know that he and Kathy are in my thoughts. He is a friend and never failed to help me when I needed it, despite the many bad times he was going through. I am sorry to hear that he is receiving inadequate care and hope this matter will soon be resolved and he will be comfortable and pain free. I could always see through the "dark" Blake to the real one and I am proud to be his friend.

    Luv,

    Wolfen
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    wolfen said:

    Thank You Drummond
    This is quite confusing. I'm sure that Gail was not aware that "Blake's Friend" had overstepped the boundaries when she relayed this email to our group.

    Please let Blake know that he and Kathy are in my thoughts. He is a friend and never failed to help me when I needed it, despite the many bad times he was going through. I am sorry to hear that he is receiving inadequate care and hope this matter will soon be resolved and he will be comfortable and pain free. I could always see through the "dark" Blake to the real one and I am proud to be his friend.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    Thank you Drummond .
    Proud to be his friend as well! Best wishes to him and family,will pray for all of you.
    Pepe.
  • MrsJP
    MrsJP Member Posts: 157
    Thanks..
    ...for the update. I'm at a loss for words. Blake has always been a wealth of information, a great debator and a good cyber friend. I feel sad that he is in pain and hope this gets resolved. I very glad that he has a deep support base. My thoughts and prays are with you all.
    jp
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    I have deleted
    I have removed my post, and I assure you that I did not call anyone or solicit information from anyone. I was contacted, and since I have always been very fond of Blake, and since I know that he has been a frequent poster that people care about, I shared the information.

    I apologize for any hurt to the family. I had no desire to hurt anyone.

    Gail
  • clever_user_name
    clever_user_name Member Posts: 8
    tootsie1 said:

    I have deleted
    I have removed my post, and I assure you that I did not call anyone or solicit information from anyone. I was contacted, and since I have always been very fond of Blake, and since I know that he has been a frequent poster that people care about, I shared the information.

    I apologize for any hurt to the family. I had no desire to hurt anyone.

    Gail

    thanks gail
    I appreciate your removing that post. No hard feelings, as I mentioned before, I didn't question your intent, but rather the contents of the email you posted to this forum. It's a side issue anyways, the main thing I wanted to convey was Blake's current situation, as well as the intent to relay any messages to him that are posted here.
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Dear Drummond
    Thank you so very much for posting. We had all become very anxious about Blake when he failed to "appear here" and share his thoughts with us. Also thank you for clarifying already posted info.

    Dear Blake,

    So sorry to hear that you are in the hospital and that you are having trouble getting them to get the pain under control. You are sorely missed here on the board. If there is anything we can do from a distance I hope you will let us know.

    Hoping that you can feel up to dictating a few fiesty "Blake" words of wisdom to be sent to us. We haven't had our fix lately. You do know that you have been immortalized here with the cowboy hat and your banter on all topics...oh yea, and for your love of kitties...lol...a fellow furry feline fancier!

    Only the best and always the best wishes for you, Kathy and your family. You are missed.

    Hugs in bunches,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117

    Dear Drummond
    Thank you so very much for posting. We had all become very anxious about Blake when he failed to "appear here" and share his thoughts with us. Also thank you for clarifying already posted info.

    Dear Blake,

    So sorry to hear that you are in the hospital and that you are having trouble getting them to get the pain under control. You are sorely missed here on the board. If there is anything we can do from a distance I hope you will let us know.

    Hoping that you can feel up to dictating a few fiesty "Blake" words of wisdom to be sent to us. We haven't had our fix lately. You do know that you have been immortalized here with the cowboy hat and your banter on all topics...oh yea, and for your love of kitties...lol...a fellow furry feline fancier!

    Only the best and always the best wishes for you, Kathy and your family. You are missed.

    Hugs in bunches,

    Marie who loves kitties

    hi Drummond
    its nice to meet you.thank you for stepping in and giving us an update.i stay out of the drama that goes on here so i have no comment about any of that confusion.just please let Blake know that his friend johnnybegood is thinking and praying for him.he has always been a good friend to me when i needed answers to anything and even had a shoulder for me to lean on when i was diagnosed stage 4.and remember we are here for him and his family....Godbless....johnnybegood
  • tommycat
    tommycat Member Posts: 790
    Very happy to hear that
    Very happy to hear that Blake will be hearing his messages---now we NEED to start a debate, just to rile him up :)
    All that aside, you and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. Blake is a gem.
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Thank You Drummond
    For taking the time to fill us in on Blake's condition, Blake is, and always has been, a good friend to myself (and to many) and an important contributor to the forum. I hope that he is resting as comfortably as he can be. I checked out his Expressions Page on this site and got a kick out of the photo of Kathy blinking. I had never visited it before. I share a similar sense of humor as Blake has and he often tickled my funny bone. We butted heads at timewe it that's what friends sometimes do, we both tried (as we all try) to encourage and inform fellow members.
    We're all on the same boat but taking different journeys.

    My best to Blake, Kathy and his family and my thanks to you for being the go-between.
    Peace...
    -phil
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    pepebcn said:

    Thank you Drummond .
    Proud to be his friend as well! Best wishes to him and family,will pray for all of you.
    Pepe.

    Care givers have a tough
    Care givers have a tough role and a hard road to follow. Blake has been with us here while on his and our journey and through many lossless of life, our friends. I tegret to hear and feel sonmuch sorrow that one of us is again suffering so and not doing well. My thoughts are with you all.

    Blake, you know we miss you. Kathy, you have some friends her. Big hug. Raquel.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    tootsie1 said:

    I have deleted
    I have removed my post, and I assure you that I did not call anyone or solicit information from anyone. I was contacted, and since I have always been very fond of Blake, and since I know that he has been a frequent poster that people care about, I shared the information.

    I apologize for any hurt to the family. I had no desire to hurt anyone.

    Gail

    Gail, you are a sweet heart.
    Gail, you are a sweet heart. You know that we are about good intentions here. When I read the post you posted, I didn't give second thought to Kathy not coming here. we are family regardless and never judge our spouses, friends, relatives and how they deal with pain. Like Drummond said, no hard feelings. Chin up. You are one of us, a mighty warrior.
  • Grace14
    Grace14 Member Posts: 65
    PhillieG said:

    Thank You Drummond
    For taking the time to fill us in on Blake's condition, Blake is, and always has been, a good friend to myself (and to many) and an important contributor to the forum. I hope that he is resting as comfortably as he can be. I checked out his Expressions Page on this site and got a kick out of the photo of Kathy blinking. I had never visited it before. I share a similar sense of humor as Blake has and he often tickled my funny bone. We butted heads at timewe it that's what friends sometimes do, we both tried (as we all try) to encourage and inform fellow members.
    We're all on the same boat but taking different journeys.

    My best to Blake, Kathy and his family and my thanks to you for being the go-between.
    Peace...
    -phil

    I do not post here often
    I do not post here often mostly on the Colon Club where Blake sometimes posts... In fact he PM'd me on there once. I just wanted to say that he is in my thoughts and prayers!!
  • thingy45
    thingy45 Member Posts: 632
    Grace14 said:

    I do not post here often
    I do not post here often mostly on the Colon Club where Blake sometimes posts... In fact he PM'd me on there once. I just wanted to say that he is in my thoughts and prayers!!

    Thanks Drummond
    Thanks Drummond for informing us about Blakes condition.

    Dear Blake,
    when I came on this board you incouraged me and I have read all yout posts and often you made me laugh out loud. Laughter is a good medicine. I wish I could make you laugh even smile a little. I also hope that the pain will soon be under control.
    I am sure that Kathy will keep on fighting for you best care possible. I wish you strength Kathy.
    I send you love and wish you peace,
    Love to Kathy and you and all you hold dear,
    Hugs, Marjan
  • relaxoutdoors08
    relaxoutdoors08 Member Posts: 521 Member
    We appreciate all that Blake Provided us
    Thank you so much for letting us know how he is doing. Prayers for his comfort. My son will soon be home from Iraq/Kuwait after one year deployment. His National Guard Unit provided the security in moving troops and equipment out of Iraq. I am counting the days. Thank you so much for your service. I know this must be so hard for you. Thank you so much for being online and providing comfort to your brother. Please share with him how much I appreciated the information Blake shared here online. He gave us hope with his updated studies and charts on survival. He was so knowlegeable about all the insurance and social security issues we face who are on this board. I am so sorry he is in pain but hope he soon will have the care he deserves. Prayers for you and your family.
    NB
  • lauragb
    lauragb Member Posts: 370
    Blake, Since coming onto
    Blake, Since coming onto this board last summer, I have really enjoyed your succinct way of communicating and your sense of humor. I want to hear the news that you are getting the pain control you need and are resting comfortably. My thoughts are with you.

    Drummond, thanks for filling us in on things. My thoughts are with you too. I know how much my brother worries about me. It's not easy being the sibling either. Take care.
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    Thank you for posting.
    Blake and Kathy you are both in my prayers.

    Blake hugs you have looked out for me and I want to thank you for that. I know we have all had our differences in this group, but one thing that ties us altogether is this disease, and we come together because of that. Been thinking of you a lot, hoping your comfortable. Hope you behave yourself and not look out for any hot nurses, as you mentioned about the fire woman last time. :-) Your an inspiration like everyone else on here, and you are part of this family. Hugs
  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368
    Drummond please forward this to Blake
    Hello Blake:

    I am sorry to hear you are not doing good...I miss your encouraging messages to me throughout my rocky path. Please know that I will be here in the background waiting for you. You are strong! I know you are!!! I will think of you, and cross my fingers for you!
    Please take care,
    - Sophie
  • jjaj133
    jjaj133 Member Posts: 867
    Thank you Drummond,
    I have

    Thank you Drummond,
    I have wondered all day what can I say? Only this, Blake you made such an impact on this board with Your humor, your advice and your willingness to help us. Not to mention your determination. I especially loved it when you got your dander up. Made for interesting reading.
    Now i wish you pain free days and peaceful nights. i send prayers to you and yours.
    Judy
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952
    Sending loving thoughts
    Dear Blake,

    Sending loving thoughts your way. Hope you get adequate pain control soon. I know you won't be loosing that wry sense of humor anytime soon but I'd just as soon it wasn't accompanied by pain! You have been such a wonderful contributor to this board -- humour mixed with pearls of wisdome. We are all praying for you.

    Love,
    Tara

    ps love to Kathy and love and thanks to Drummond
  • janie1
    janie1 Member Posts: 753
    taraHK said:

    Sending loving thoughts
    Dear Blake,

    Sending loving thoughts your way. Hope you get adequate pain control soon. I know you won't be loosing that wry sense of humor anytime soon but I'd just as soon it wasn't accompanied by pain! You have been such a wonderful contributor to this board -- humour mixed with pearls of wisdome. We are all praying for you.

    Love,
    Tara

    ps love to Kathy and love and thanks to Drummond

    Hi Blake.
    When I first posted here, I was a mess. Still am, but a more informed mess thanks to you. You told me to "Breathe", because I was probably rambling.
    It's been entertaining watching you and John go toe-to-toe. I think you even agreed to disagree at one point.
    Are you sure you want Kathy to read our messages to you? Now, this would be a good opportunity for her to embellish what we say and just give you a whole bunch of B.S.
    Humor aside....You are loved, Good Buddy.....and you can't argue that. Will be thinking about you. You have a great family......thank you and love to you all !