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Need advice

Posts: 14
Joined: Mar 2012

I was diagnosed in 2005 and never told my mother who will be 92 in April about my illness.
I thought she would have passed and I wouldn't have to tell her.
We speak weekly and I have a sister who has her own medical problems and I just don't want to drop this on her.
Any thoughts would be appreciated

Old-timer's picture
Posts: 196
Joined: Apr 2011

At what stage is your cancer now? Have you undergone treatment or has your doctor recommended treatment? Has your cancer grown during the past seven years? What is your PSA now compared to seven years ago? Did the biopsy give a Gleason score?

You may need to take care of yourself more than be concerned about telling your mother and sister. I like the idea of not burdening them, but do what needs to be done for yourself.

Welcome to this discussion board. Hope we can help you. Good luck.

Posts: 14
Joined: Mar 2012

I didn't want to give you the impression I wasn't being treated.
I have excellent doctors. I don't have all the details handy to give you.
My PSA last Nov was 1.08.
I am currently being treated with Provenge immunotherapy. I will be finished with it at the end of March

Kongo's picture
Posts: 1166
Joined: Mar 2010


Given your mother's age, what point is there in talking to her about this now. You didn't indicate your mother's faculties or whether she would understand your diagnosis. What is it that you want from her?

I have no idea from what you have posted whether your diagnosis is terminal or indolent. My take would be to spare her the details...at the end of the day, what is it that would be better if you told her?

Welcome to the forum and best of luck to you.


Posts: 14
Joined: Mar 2012

She is quite sharp for her age and would understand. I have just started Provenge immunotherapy and I am very optimistic
I don't want anything from her and just wanted to spare her the pain

hopeful and opt...
Posts: 2336
Joined: Apr 2009

Your sister and any children that she may have are more susceptable to prostate and breast cancers, and have a need to know for early screening.

VascodaGama's picture
Posts: 3406
Joined: Nov 2010


I believe you could spare your mother from your PCa illness but you could also share with her a few details, but only you can decide about what to do. In any case your treatment is doing well and you will have to inform other younger males in the family regarding their risk for the disease (as Hopeful comments). Probably the best advice will come from your sister or any sibling of your mother.
For the many that want to know your details, here is the link;

Wishing you peace of mind.


Posts: 14
Joined: Mar 2012

Thank you
That is good information and I appreciate your caring

Posts: 261
Joined: Sep 2010

I did not tell my mother. I have a real small family and Mom was living with my only sibling. It was easy to keep the secret. If Mom had found out that I did not tell her she would have been crushed. Mom passed last year (at 93) so I guess she won't send me to the woodshed.

Posts: 45
Joined: Dec 2010

I have told about everyone in my family, including cousins as I feel there is a genetic link and they should be aware of it. My mothers sister had 4 boys and all 4 had PC. Most of my friends also know about it. I figure I did nothing to cause it. if I had been smoking and develped lung or throat cancer that would be another story. I was diagosed about 3 years ago and treated with radiation and the hormone therapy. My last PSA test was 0.00 so I am doing great in most respects, The part that I do not realy advertise is the ED sife effects of the hormone therapy. I do not want to scare any one off from getting treatment that could save their life. The ED and the cost of pills is a nasty situation, many insurance plans pay little or nothing and the pills cost $20 or $25 each. I guess the insurance experts figure sex is not essential, kind of like covering elective surgery.

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