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Hubby Update

Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

We got home on Thursday after 10 days in the hospital following hernia surgery. Husband again is carrying wound vac and it looks like it is going to be around for another couple months. Recovery has been slow but yesterday he ate three meals and watched some TV. I am questioning whether or not we should've had the first surgery or whether it is taking away quality time he might otherwise have had. I am pretty down in the dumps. Husband doesn't feel good enough to have many emotions right now. I have seen many of you get knocked down, dust yourself off, and go back to the fight so hopefully we can follow your lead. I think I am going to spend a little time wallowing in self pity before the come back. On a side note, depression is not the cause of my recent lack of posting to the Board. I was thinking of giving up either wine or my IPad for lent and I need the wine way more than the IPad so can only post on Sundays. Lisa

PhillieG's picture
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

Do yourself a BIG favor and try not to second guess a decision that's been made and can't be undone. It sounds very positive that he's eating and watching TV. He could just be sleeping and hardly eating. Ten days in the hospital is no picnic either. It knocks a lot out of a person so he will need time to recover. I'm confident that once he get used to being home and starts WALKING (very important) he'll feel better and so will you.
As far as your husband not having many emotions now, most people I think are recovering from the trauma of surgery, again, it takes a little time.
I hope he continues to recover.

Jesus probably would have kept the wine too...

tommycat's picture
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

These are hard times. He is not only healing, but processing all that has happened to him. Keep in mind there is only so much you can do for him....
Sharing: After my first three surgeries I was emotionally a wreck--shell shocked. There were more bad days than good, but getting outside in the fresh air helped, as did walking. I would walk to the stop sign, touch it, and come back. A very tiny goal, but at the time it was a huge milestone. Slowly I started to have good hours, then good days and then I was having more good days than bad. It wasn't like a shaft of light came down, or a big "aha!" moment, just a slow re-awakening.
Hang in there Lisa....I hope something makes you laugh today. You are important too.
Hugs from California~

Posts: 370
Joined: Aug 2011

Your husband is having to deal with the trauma of surgery. I found that after being in the hospital 14 days I was a wreck after I got home after seeming so together in the hospital. This is a common theme I've read about on these boards. Also, dealing with the wound vac must be depressing too. I think it's good news that he's eating and I think you will see some of his old self in time. It's okay to take some time to wallow in self-pity. I know I certainly do it from time to time and I'm sure my husband does too.
Anyway, hang in there. I will think of you as my husband drinks his wine tonight, a toast to the caregivers.

Sending light.

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