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Anxiety

rae_rae's picture
rae_rae
Posts: 300
Joined: Oct 2010

So I went through the recurrence anxiety last year and I admit I walked out of the doctors office then and broke down. I never did that with the first diagnosis. I've been feeling pretty good lately, loving that I haven't been to see a doctor since the fall and then on Wednesday my knee goes. I'd like to say I was doing some back flips and came down wrong, or was skiing down a mountain and crashed, but no, I simply bent down to get something and pop with instant pain.

I ended up seeing my doctor two days later, on crutches, when I realized this wasn't getting better. The usual-stay off it, ice, steroids, see me in two weeks if it isn't better and let's do an xray. I get my xray and the xray technician decides to run and get the doctor. I think to myself they must have found something amiss. The doctor comes in, I hear them talking about a spot and send it off to be read right away. The doctor comes back to tell me something doesn't look right and it may be nothing but she will call me today on my cell.

I hobbled out to my car and immediately my mind went to cancer. Not that I've ever heard of RCC mets to the knee (sounds almost silly, doesn't it) but everytime they find something unusual that anxiety creeps up. I called my good friend, and voice of reason, to talk out of the anxiety as was on the verge of tears. Of course it only took a few minutes with her to calm me back down. I really hate how cancer changes how you perceive everything. I wasn't expecting this reaction.

Oh the xray...the odd spot ended up only being ligament attached to the bone, according to the radiologist. Seems both the xray tech and the doctor overreacted. Crutches in the winter stinks!

Texas_wedge's picture
Texas_wedge
Posts: 2803
Joined: Nov 2011

I imagine that story resonates with a lot of us. I reckon i would have reacted pretty much the same way you did.

Trying to make the best of it, I suppose one could think that suffering a false alarm by being over-cautious is better than being too confident and missing something that then turns out to be nasty?

Hope you can chuck the crutches soon. On the bright side ("Always look on the bright side of life di dum di dum; di dum di dum di dum") you were feeling better lately and this WAS a false alarm. Your resort colleagues won't be getting their bequests for a while yet Rae!

rae_rae's picture
rae_rae
Posts: 300
Joined: Oct 2010

Always good to look on the bright side if things! I am thankful it was nothing and I hope to be rid of the crutches soon!

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