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No More Chemo

daBeachBum's picture
daBeachBum
Posts: 164
Joined: Apr 2011

Hey Gang,

Yesterday I met with my Onc with a large group of my family and girlfriend. It was time for the doc to outline my options after my hospital stay and scans.

Long story short, we decided that since everything we have tried against the C has failed, how miserable the side effects were making me, and in light of my bowel perforation(s)we were going to stop doing chemo and I was going to enter a more palliative phase. I will still get antibacterials and antifungals and get my belly drained as needed, but no more chemo, a lot fewer pills and increased pain meds.

I am at my sisters place now and will probably move to a first floor condo next week very near my mom. My family will take shifts caring for me. They have been beyond great as has been my girlfriend. I am very skinny and weak and but have "Elephant Man" feet, ankles and legs. All-in-all thoughI am much more comfortable and don't miss continuously throwing up one bit. We have a bunch of us going to the Borgata this Sunday so I can get my gambling fix in :-p I am tending to a lot of details this week to free up time for later.

So, it's prolly weeks or months instead of months or years for me. I hope to make the most of clearing out the chemo drugs and enjoy the good times as long as they last. This may be the last update you get from me, but I have left instructions for someone to update you guys when I go.

Please don't be sad. I'm not. I got my head around this a long time ago. I find it's harder on my family and friends than me. Sorry for the typos, I'm pretty pilled up. I love you all and wish you all the very best in your battles. I have rejoiced in people's gains, mourned at their losses and learned a lot here.

All the best!

Ray

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1721
Joined: Nov 2001

I hope your suffering is minimal and you are at peace. Hugs Ron.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6179
Joined: Feb 2009

While this is not the update that I'd wanted to hear from you, I'm glad that you are at peace with it and will have your family so close to you - that is a very important part of this journey. I'm wishing you a peace during this time and want you to know I've followed your story. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

Phoebesnow
Posts: 567
Joined: Apr 2011

I have followed you avidly because I am an asbury park beachbum transported to Malibu. Best of luck to you on this journey, I hope the road is long and easy on the souls of your feet.

Carl_Renee's picture
Carl_Renee
Posts: 84
Joined: Jun 2010

This is hard to come back on here and first thing I read. I am glad you are a peace with your decision and that is what does really matter. Peace be with your family as well.

Carl and Renee

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3327
Joined: Jan 2010

You say don't be sad because you aren't but that isn't how it works with friends and family.

I can understand your decisions and am glad that those closest to you are being supportive as well.

May the time remaining be pain free and in the company of those you love.

Many hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Ray,

Ofcourse we are all sad to hear your news. Enjoy everyday you have with friends and family.

Many hugs,
Marjan

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1320
Joined: Apr 2009

I'll try to be only a little bit sad, but mostly I'll be filled with ANGER at this nasty turn of events. You are such a fine person and handling everything so graciously. Please enjoy your time with your family and friends.

I offer you this Irish blessing:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine upon your face,
The rains fall upon your fields,
And, until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Luv,

Wolfen

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2117
Joined: Oct 2009

I wish you peace on comfort on these next steps of your journey. It sounds like you are at peace with your decisions knowing you have done everything you could to fight this monster. It appears you have a wonderful support system surrounding you and may they continue to love you, comfort you and continue to make you smile and enjoy each day.

If they can, please have them come on and let us know how you are doing. The people on the board care so very much for those with cancer and their caregivers.

Take care - Tina

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

To the last minute buddy.......enjoy yourself, and when you get where your going, lemme know,....always........buzz

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

May everyday day be spent loving those that you love...GOD's blessings to you Ray.
Brenda

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Awww Ray.............hugs from California. Remember: You are never alone.
God bless you.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Ray

Thanks for helping show us the way on how to handle the end of life scenario. You are handling it with dignity and courage - 2 traits that I could only hope to possess when my time nears...

I appreciate hearing your story on what you are facing. I spent the last chapter in my book trying to put myself in this position - and trying to see how I would feel and when 'enough would be enough.' In the end...I still don't know how I will handle it...but seeing you today, gives me another role model and someone to emulate.

What I find refreshing in you as well as many others who are facing this, is how you all have come to peace with your decision, even knowing the consequences. That quiet contemplation and acceptance of what lies before you, is truly a blessing for all of us - and it gives us a roadmap to steer by so we'll know how to get to where you are.

Do me one small favor - "Leave the Light On" for the rest of us...

Enjoy your life free of chemo now - and may you get as many days as you possibly can.

I'll take this opportunity to say a special "thank you" when you responded to one of my posts last year when I was at an all-time low...you had offered to have me call you as I was in some lonely days then...I thank you for that.

-Craig

Lifeisajourney
Posts: 217
Joined: Apr 2010

I found out 1 year ago I had mets to liver. Tried resection, didn't work. Declined chemo. I thought I would be gone by now. I am tired, don't do a lot, but I am alive, and my family likes that. So we just don't know what will happen. Onc sees me about every 6 weeks,just got a new GP. Going to get my teeth cleaned today. We are all different, but enjoy. I felt I was going to be gone by now and started to live that way....hey I am still here and making it...tomorrow, who knows.....not any of us......God bless and think positive..Pat

MrsJP
Posts: 157
Joined: Jan 2011

You have been an inspiration to me...sending peaceful thoughts your way.
jp

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

and ultimately come to the clearing at the end of the path. Walking the last twists and turns with dignity and courage is a great gift, and I wish it for you, and for all of us when we reach that stage of the journey. I hope you have many months filled with peace and love. Ann

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

HUGS!

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

God bless you always....

Cyn

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

hi ray,

whats to say, just i hpoe your days are full or peace and love.
if the pain gets serious, remember a little peaceful deep breathing can do wonders, believe it or not. some call it meditation, works well with medication as well.

hugs,
Pete

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

hi ray,

whats to say, just i hpoe your days are full or peace and love.
if the pain gets serious, remember a little peaceful deep breathing can do wonders, believe it or not. some call it meditation, works well with medication as well.

hugs,
Pete

tko683
Posts: 265
Joined: Aug 2011

Ray,
I am sad to hear your news but glad you are at peace with it. You have such a great sense of humor about cancer which i find inspiring. I pray that being off chemo will allow you to feel better and enjoy your family....God bless!
Hugs,
Teri

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

May I enter the phase of the journey are are entering now with just half of the grace, calm and love you have. You are a role model! Enjoy your loved ones, and all the moments of joy life is still offering,

Love,
Tara

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, Ray.

I'm very sorry to read this. Praying for a peaceful transition for you.

*hugs*
Gail

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Ray,
I pray for many good months for you with family and friends. Peace is a good thing to have. My prayers go with you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

newperson's picture
newperson
Posts: 76
Joined: Mar 2010

Dear Ray, I wish you have long long time to enjoy the life without chemo. I hate cancer. I will keep you in my thought and pray for you. (((Hugs))) - Lucy

janie1
Posts: 753
Joined: Apr 2011

YOU ARE A GREAT MAN !!!!!!!!!!!!,

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Ray, I hope whatever happens with/to you happens easy and that you get to experience those good times more than you think.

hugs, plh4gail

karen40's picture
karen40
Posts: 211
Joined: Aug 2011

Best wishes for many more memorable days.
Take Care,
Karen

pattymm
Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2012

Dear Friends of Raymond Moore (DaBeachBum)

My name is Patty Moore and I am one of the four siblings of Raymond Moore (aka.. DaBeach Bum) our baby brother. I am writing on behalf of my family to inform you that our beloved Raymond lost his courageous battle with cancer, on February 15, 2012 surrounded by his loving family. Raymond ended his journey with cancer the same as he started, with grace, acceptance and an uncanny sense of humor. Our family is well aware of the support and love he had for this support group, as Raymond spoke of the friendships he forged and lessons learned and shared with all of you. Raymond, ever the charismatic and “minister” of comfort took the opportunity in the weeks preceding his passing, to reach out to friends and family members to say his goodbye’s and explicitly informing us not to mourn him, but to continue to celebrate life. He reminded all of us that he had “front-loaded” his life with great journeys, experiences and relationships that he basked in! Please help our family remember Ray’s legacy, by sharing a hug, a laugh, a good glass of wine and of course a good meal with someone you cherish.

Please be assured that we will keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers. We should all strive to keep the spirit of the”DaBeachBum” alive in our hearts as we seek courage and inspiration in our individual journeys’.

Thank you all for your support of Raymond,
Love,
The Moore Family

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Dear Moore Family, my sincere condolances with the loss of Raymond. He was a shining light for me. I will always keep him close in my mind and heart, whatever my journey will be.

DaBeachBum will be missed here by many.

I will have a good glass of wine on his behalf tonight.
Rest in peace Raymond, you are loved by many.
Hugs, Marjan

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Thank you for taking the time to post this news Patty. Your brother will be missed....

Grace14
Posts: 65
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm so sorry for your Loss!!

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

For DaBeachBum's family, thank you so much for letting us know. I will share a hug and a good meal and raise a glass to your cherished one with my loved ones tonight.

Gail

toyfox's picture
toyfox
Posts: 158
Joined: Apr 2011

Life is so precious...it is hard to lose those that
we care about. Sorry for your loss. Linda

lauragb
Posts: 370
Joined: Aug 2011

I'll raise a glass for a life well-lived.
May he soar in peace.

Laura

Kenny H.'s picture
Kenny H.
Posts: 503
Joined: Aug 2010

My condolences, hate reading this.

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Patty, thank you for letting us know. Your brother will be missed. He taught me a lot about how to live with uncertainty and how to think of others even when dying. I will certainly toast him with gratitude. His last posts speak of the incredible love and support he felt from his family and girlfriend. He was blessed to have all of you.

Cathleen Mary

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Dear Moore Family,

Thank you for letting us know the sad news. I'm very sorry for your loss. I am so glad, though, that Ray was able to make the last part of the journey on his own terms. It's wonderful that he was able to use that time to be with family and friends.

Your family will be in my prayers.

*hugs*
Gail

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4885
Joined: May 2005

I'm so sorry for your/our loss. Raymond will be greatly missed by so many on this forum.
-phil

Semira's picture
Semira
Posts: 378
Joined: Mar 2012

for letting us know. So sorry to read this!
Petra

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Dear Moore Family,

It is with much sadness that I write this note to tell you that Ray was a beloved member of this community. He had such an uplifting personality and was truly inspirational and courageous to the end. It is easy to see that he was a wonderful man and was loved by his family and friends.

God bless his spirit always,

Cynthia

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

i send my prayers and vibes.

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1320
Joined: Apr 2009

Your brother was a very special person. I offer my condolences for your loss.

Wolfen

ketziah35
Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

My condolences to you and your family. Thanks for letting us know.

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3327
Joined: Jan 2010

While Ray had prepared us, it is never easy to know that the journey on earth is ended.

Your brother was a well thought of member of this community and will be missed.

I hope that as you and the family move on thru the days without him, you are able to do as he asked and let the rememberances of your time together bring you a smile.

Please pass on my condolances to the rest of the family.

Love to you all.

Marie who loves kitties

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh no, are my thoughts over and over. Thank you so much for letting us know about Raymond. Even his name DaBeachBum showed his spirit, and he had good spirit!!
We shall miss him, and I shall raise a glass of wine in his memory tonight.
My sincerest condolences and thank you for sharing him with us. He was indeed a bright spirit, who lifted our hearts.
Love,
Winter Marie

jasminsaba
Posts: 157
Joined: Jul 2011

may your beautiful memories comfort you during this most difficult time.

smokeyjoe
Posts: 1428
Joined: Feb 2011

My heartfelt condolances to your family and friends.

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss but I know he is at peace. He handled everything with such dignity and I really admire him for that. Praying for the best for him and his extended family.
Jeff

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Dear Moore Family,
Thank you for your message. What a beautiful tribute to your special brother. My prayers are with all of you. Ray will be missed.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

Our condolences to you all.

Pat & Ellen

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