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ACS Facebook users, old friends finding you?

RogerRN43
Posts: 185
Joined: Sep 2011

I have some old friends from high school who I haven't spoken to for ages and finding me on facebook recently, requesting confirmation.

I do not know whether to initiate contact. I believe most of my fb friends now are aware of what I'm going through and I am not sure whether I want to spread the news to old friends I do not routinely speak to. Facebook is like a web, once I accept them, invariably there will be others from high school. I moved a lot and there are very few people from high school I keep in touch with.

On one side, I feel like I would turn into gossip, and I am not sure I want to devote energy to corresponding with them. On the other side, perhaps they are new avenues of support.

What do you think?

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8298
Joined: Sep 2009

For me, I have several friends on FB, many who have known me through all phases of my life. I guarantee I have moved more than you as a child. I've moved more than anyone I have ever known actually, LOL.

Cancer is now a part of who I am, it's just another attribute to my being. I had it, I dealt with it, others can too.

In all honesty, has it really changed the person you are? Who cares if they are talking about you... More than likely, they are the same ones that'll talk about you anyways if that's the case.

Actually, I have very few friends that really bring it up other than perhaps briefly once or twice, mainly to ask how I am.

The relationship that I have had with them during life since them, is more up for discussion than me having had cancer.

At least you are alive to participate, LOL....

FB is like life in general, if you don't want something out there for everyone to see, you better keep it to yourself.

Best,
John

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

I've had a few friends and ex co workers from the past find me on Facebook. I have accepted their friend requests, and not really said anything about my HNC to them, but my FB is full of HNC survivors from here, and other places, and my posts are sometimes on the subject of it, or reference cancer. Some then message me, to ask me what the heck happened. Which is fine. Some have not stuck around, I seem to have been unfriended. I have also had people tell me, they deleted me cause all I ever talk about is food. I don't take it personally, and figure, this is who I am. I'm pretty much an open book. While some have gone away, others have been great and very supportive. Kinda like the same as my life in the real world, as John said.

As far as gossip goes, I was always getting gossiped about. I live in a very small township, where I am an outsider because I've only been here since 1990, and I'm an "eye-talian" flatlander, from NYC. Gossip is a sport here in Moreland Township, and I am fairly certain, that the farmers here, take it to Olympic levels. I ignore that stuff. Makes me laugh, they never get anything close to accurate. Someone last week was surprised to see me, they heard I was dying. Lol

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1349
Joined: Aug 2010

go for it and many of us will be there with you. the more support you get the better.

john

Sue22's picture
Sue22
Posts: 99
Joined: Nov 2011

how do we find you on Facebook?

I think we should be ourselves and not be scared of other finding out.

olybee's picture
olybee
Posts: 82
Joined: Jun 2011

on facebook. I'd LOVE to see recipes for HNC folks, and I spend more time on FB than this site - terrible, but true. That's how I check up on my sons ;)

longtermsurvivor's picture
longtermsurvivor
Posts: 1845
Joined: Mar 2010

nm

Irishgypsie's picture
Irishgypsie
Posts: 333
Joined: May 2010

I have been the opposite; I believe facebook is a little rediculious when it comes to friending people. I only want to share my cancer with true friends. Most people are aquaintences, not true friends! Just my opinion. I also found it tough when I would talk to old friends and there life is great and I'm like "oh, trying to beat cancer"!!

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

Diehard true friend's, but I have been enriched in my life sharing much silliness, some info, jokes, and sometimes even words of comfort and wisdom on Facebook. I am open with others, and whether friend or acquaintance there is a wealth of wonderful things to exchange. We learn from one another, and I know everyone has a story, and no ones life is perfect.

RogerRN43
Posts: 185
Joined: Sep 2011

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=751730367

(not sure if that link works, I'm "Roger C")

Should we have a facebook ID thread?

staceya's picture
staceya
Posts: 720
Joined: Jan 2010

I really like facebook. And when I was too sick to give updates, I could use facebook instead of having to talk, which I could not do all the time.
And Sweet does not ALWAYS talk about food. sometimes she talks about DOGS...
and I wouldn't have it any other way :)

I use my full name Stacey Almos.
I don't have a picture of a goat as my avatar (well not today anyway!)

Stacey

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

Lol, Stacey! Too, true! Too, true.

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8298
Joined: Sep 2009

Your URL doesn't work, and you can't use a FB ID to find someone...

If you want to have someone add you, you have to list your FB name.

Also, I'm not sure how many on here use the ACS facebook, more use the CSN one...but I rarely go there myself.

JG

RogerRN43
Posts: 185
Joined: Sep 2011

I guess the URL doesn't work.
A few people here have already added me, they must have looked up "Roger C" and saw the pic of my family similar to the one here.
It's my wife and I and our two kids.

I don't mind connecting with my ACS friends here at all if you are already on FB :-)

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

I just stuck the link provided in my browser, and Roger's page popped up.

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1349
Joined: Aug 2010

it worked for me too

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8298
Joined: Sep 2009

You have to be logged in to FB for the ID to work.

JG

jtl's picture
jtl
Posts: 456
Joined: Sep 2011

I belong but I am not a much of a user. I figure I get enough emails to stay in contact with people. FB is good for eavesdropping.

KTeacher
Posts: 1104
Joined: Jan 2011

What about old, new friends? Facebook worked for me during surgery, I gave my sister my password and she posted for me--she also sent an e-mail to some of my friends that are not on FB. Sometimes I am on and sometimes I'm off! Friends have found me that were in my Kindergarten class (that's a long time ago!) It has been interesting.

doitforoj's picture
doitforoj
Posts: 64
Joined: Sep 2009

Roger,

I would accept them. Never know what will come of it. New life new beginnings. I do not know what stage you are in with your nuisance as I came to call it. But there is a website called caring bridge that helps you let only the people you want know what is going on. I used it for awhile at the beginning because did not want it to spread on fb. Stupid of me. I had friends contact me with great stories and info. Hey you can not make a wrong decision here so don't sweat it.

Grace and Peace

Kurt

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8298
Joined: Sep 2009

Because of FB, I have been discovered, LOL....

I have a shady background, LOL...who'd thunk it?

Anyways, because of FB, I have an entire new family...

I never met my blood father, I was born in 1954 in Mansfield Ohio. Apparently later in his life he married and had four daughters. Well he told his wife about me, but made her never talk about it.

Well when he passed away several years ago, the mother told the daughters....they have been looking for me for over ten years.

The next day after I had Shelley, my wife add me to her FaceBook, they found me. Ironically, one lives only 40 miles from me in Florida....

Instant Rock Star Status, LOL...their only brother.

How's that for a FaceBook Story.

JG

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

That your baby picture for your avatar? So cute!

QUACK

Heh....heh heh! Much less suckage. :) bazinga!

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8298
Joined: Sep 2009

Actually, that's my post treatment photo....

Who says that sixteen weeks of rads and chemo doesn't change you....

My new normal...

HeHe....
JG

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3228
Joined: Jan 2010

:)

nwasen's picture
nwasen
Posts: 235
Joined: Feb 2011

I work as a receptionist and am involved in alot of different organizations and musical events....and have always loved to talk....to me tongue cancer was sort of a warped joke when I was diagnosed!! I decided right out of the gate that I was going to be very vocal and very public about my cancer. And am glad I have been. I have been able to help some people by me going public.
But we are all different. I totally respect those who keep their cancer quiet. I guess being a mouthy only child of the 60's just didn't let me keep quiet!
Nancy

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