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Thank Goodnes for CSN

ldguerra's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Jul 2011

Hi all caregivers,

Today I was hoping not to be feel so alone today, I know I should be grateful to have my husband with me for Christmas because there were so many moments that I was on the verge of losing him in the last two months. Yes I am grateful but first time since I met him I had to have Christmas without him at my dining table, for the first time I felt so alone all dressed up and no one to see me, my Nativity scene has been the best this year like the table centerpiece, and he is unable to get out of bed and see what I have done.

Of course I took photos just for him to see but it is not the same no enthusiasm not because he doesn't want to just because he doesn't have it in him to. This evil thing has taken away so much from us, so much. I wish it never existed.

I watch television and see these advertisements of so many beauty products, research being done to find creams that make your skin look younger, why isn't this money being invested in finding cure for this evil thing that we have to face. I just wonder if there will ever be any cure for any of us.

I wish that everything would just go back to six years ago when we could have move out of the this country and be somewhere we would have had more opportunities to have a chances of many more years together.

Well sorry I had to dump this on all of you and do hope that you are in better Christmas spirit than I am today, enjoying your partners and having hope that if they live long enough there could be a cure.

Hugs and Prayers all

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Hang in there. I'm glad your husband is still there. Maybe things aren't the same, but then life has a tendency to throw us curves. I lost my husband to cancer, but I am always happy for those who are still here. Share with him, take lots of pictures, and just enjoy your time together. Christmas is a time for family. I'm bless to have family to share the day and the memories. Take care of yourself and vent whenever you want. Hugs, Fay

ldguerra's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Jul 2011


I am so sorry that you have lost your husband and wished he was with you. I am grateful for every moment I have with him just felt so lonely especially since he asked me to keep outside the room and not bother him. I know he was not himself but it was difficult. I watch him everyday and smile because he is here with me and do hope i will have a miracle.

Hugs Fay

KLScoville's picture
Posts: 161
Joined: Mar 2011

I envy you, you had Christmas Day with your husband. My husband proposed to me on Christmas Day in 2004. I wish that I still had the pictures!

I wish both you and your husband well! God bless!


ldguerra's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Jul 2011

Hi Kelly,

I know i should complain but it was difficult cause he asked me to leave the room and stay outside he was not in good mood, first time in my life I felt so alone, and I used to live alone before I met hub, wow, that is amazing how he changed my life.

I feel for you because you are my twin and I know it is difficult for you. Glad to have you come in here still. Luv u hon

LeeandShirley's picture
Posts: 122
Joined: Apr 2011

Laura Dear,
You come here as much as you want and you let it all hang out. Cancer is unfair and we do not have any rules that make any sense on how to feel or how to behave. You were hurt because you want to spend every last second of your husband's life near to him. Trying to stay so close that if sheer will could cure him, you could do it. But, to be told, "stay out", is a stab to your heart, because you are trying so hard. He is not trying to hurt you and you know that, but that doesn't change how you feel. So come to us. Yell, and wail and cry it out, if you want to. It's o.k. We will always understand your pain and we will listen. We are listening now. Hugs to you Laura.

ldguerra's picture
Posts: 41
Joined: Jul 2011

Thank you Shirley, I am sure glad that I can be here and say how I feel and you can understand what I am going through and not look at me like I am a weirdo... Well I do appreciate being able to come here, wish I could get into chat, i love the immediate feedback also, lol somehow my computer refuse to let me in to chat don't know why. I do hope to chat with you soon.Hugs to you and Lee.

Posts: 79
Joined: Jul 2011

we haven't chatted in a while. I just want to remind you that we are only keystrokes away. I pray that you both are doing okay. (((HUGS)))

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