Dec 20, 2011 - 10:28 am
Hi there, this is my first time on this forum. My beautiful wife had her Cancer successfully removed in JAnuary 2010. Since then she has suffered no symtoms or any illness from the Tumour. We have had twin boys and have gotten married so its been a mad couple of years.
We are approaching the 2 year mark and Nadine is about to have her check up. We normally stay very positive but this month has been hard. I am worried on many levels. I am worried for her, I don't want to see my wife in emotional or physical pain. I'm worried that my babies will have no Mum. I'm worried for myslef taht I will be left with no wife and 2 babies and a mortgage. I know she is not a statistic and I have read some amazing stories and met some wonderful people who defy the odds, I just hope that she does. She is a remarkable person, full of life but her hope has taken a dip recently especially now that we are parents. I try to think in a positive way and she this as a challenge in life to overcome. Its funny how something so terrible can actually awaken the senses to whats really important in life. I never thought I would be in this situation. I look back and ask myself how has this happened to us. We have such a wonderful life, full of plans but there's always this thing lurking in the background.
I have to stop myself from mourning her while she is alive, I know this sounds terrible but the doctors and their stats say the worst is to come. We are all so different, thats what gets me through this. No-one can tell me that she is going to die as they don't have a crystal ball, so, until I'm told otherwise thats what I'll believe, I just wish my darling wife could do the same. Life can be so so cruel, maybe its a lesson that we have to learn this time round. I'm not a religious person but i am spiritual so that helps me.
If anyone can relate to me or has any words of hope, please drop me a line, I could do with it before Christmas.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.