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Scared

KStar19
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2011

Hello all,

I was 18yo when I was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. I have been in remission for almost 9 years now which has been great. I recently went to the doctor cause I have been feeling really run down and tired all the time. The doctor ran labs and found that my WBC's are really low. I also found a swollen lymph node. I am really scared that I might have reoccurence of the Hodgkins. This is always a hard time of year for me anyways since this is when I was diagnosed 10 years ago. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I am having a CT scan in a few days to see if anything looks suspicous. I hate living in fear every time I'm sick or have to go in for a check up. I have had to get swollen lymph nodes checked out before but my labs have always been fine since I have been in remission so thats what really concerns me. Guess I will just have to wait and see.

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

Kstar,
We can all relate to what you are saying. Anybody that has been thru what we have can. People that have never had to go thru this sometimes do not know what the problem is. It is normal for us to feel this way whenever anything does not seem just right. It is rough living with those thoughts in the back of our head day after day.A lot can cause the wbc's to drop but what goes thru our mind is one thing only. The lymph node swelling can also be caused by an infection. Thats what they do,but thats not what goes thru our minds is it. It is perfectly normal to think that way and be scared. I would be the same way. Just try to keep calm. Worse comes to worse you have to remember it is all treatable. Easier said than done I know.I am in remission for over a year after R-CVP and Rituxan every 6 months.You will get other responses from people on here. They are a bunch of really supportive people. John(FNHL-4A-1-5/10)
BTW: What was your original diagnosis?

jimwins's picture
jimwins
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi KStar,

Yep, John's right. I just recently finished my chemo and
have my first "check up" in February and I'm already a little
anxious about that. It's okay to be scared. Come here to share,
scream ang get hugs.

I'm sending you good wishes for good results.

Hugs and positive thoughts,

Jim
DX: DLBL 4/2011, Chemo completed 10/2011, currently in remission. :)
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allmost60's picture
allmost60
Posts: 3184
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi KStar,
Welcome to our group. Sorry you are going through this and I can only imagine how scary all of this is for you. I have the kind of cancer that will probably show up again down the road, so I know what your feeling. I was diagnosed in June 2010 with Follicular NHL-stage3-grade2-typeA. I'm sure glad your having a CT scan to see whats going on. Waiting for tests to be done and getting the results is so stressful. I know it's hard, but try to stay as peaceful as possible until your testing is done...stress causes our immune systems to work overtime. Please share back what you find out and in the meantime when your feeling scared or just need to vent, someone is usually around here to listen and help out. Take care and best wishes...Sue

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1032
Joined: Nov 2006

Everyone feels like I do, when things are not right, we think the worse, and rightly so. The waiting is very hard. My WBC are low, but I don't have any swollen lymph nodes. Being young and the years in remission should be on your side..... think positive. Please let us know.......... Vinny

KStar19
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2011

Thanks to everyone for your responses. Its easier to talk to someone who has had a similar experience. Family and friends are there but they just can never really understand what I'm goin through like you all can. I had the CT scan on friday so hopefully will have results on monday or tuesday at the very latest. I will let you know how it goes. My orignal diagnosis was Hodgkins Lymphoma. The doctor said the one good thing is my platelets are good currently otherwise she would think I would have some type of leukemia going on. Along with the low wbc my rbc are low too. The doctor is concerned that there is some reoccurence because along with all that stuff I have been really tired lately and having abdominal pain. So its good she order the CT so I can soon have results and hopefully its nothing. But I hope they can figure something out cause I have been feeling terrible lately. I am kind of scared to answer the phone tomorrow if they call with the results besides all this stuff going on for the the past few weeks I have my finals for school tomorrow. I really haven't been able to study a lot with all this on my mind. But thanks again to everyone I probably should get back to studying. Talk to you soon! Kim

KStar19
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2011

So I finally got a call from the doctor. Waiting is by far the worst part. So the doctor said that everything looked normal in the CT, but there was one enlarged lymph node. I am happy about the results and thankful there isnt anything major going on. The one thing that kind of bothered me was when the person giving me the results over the phone was telling me about the node, these were her exact words "there is one enlarged lymph node but they don't think it's cancerous." Which I guess with a CT scan they can't say 100% that the lymph node isn't cancerous but also, my blood counts were still low and I'm still feeling tired and she didn't say anything about a follow-up. So I just kind of feel unsure about the whole thing. Does anyone have any advice? Kim

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

So glad your news was good. You know the person might have meant it looks fine. Those of us that have been on this journey hang on a simple word and think the worse. The woman who gave you the phone results probably never had cancer. Please let us know. Blessing to you Joanie

KStar19
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2011

So I finally got a call from the doctor. Waiting is by far the worst part. So the doctor said that everything looked normal in the CT, but there was one enlarged lymph node. I am happy about the results and thankful there isnt anything major going on. The one thing that kind of bothered me was when the person giving me the results over the phone was telling me about the node, these were her exact words "there is one enlarged lymph node but they don't think it's cancerous." Which I guess with a CT scan they can't say 100% that the lymph node isn't cancerous but also, my blood counts were still low and I'm still feeling tired and she didn't say anything about a follow-up. So I just kind of feel unsure about the whole thing. Does anyone have any advice? Kim

KStar19
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2011

Clicked Post Comment to many times:)

vinny59's picture
vinny59
Posts: 1032
Joined: Nov 2006

Hey Kim, I would still ask for a PET Scan to see if there is any uptake around that lump. If your counts where normal and you didn't have a lot of fatigue, I would say watch and wait........

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