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Trying not to have a FREAK OUT!

Dee2005's picture
Posts: 24
Joined: Oct 2011

Hello everyone! I was diagnosed in November 2005 with an agressive stage IIIB, the battle was long & hard but I survived it! I've been attending college & trying to create a new life, but right now I am trying not to literally freak out!! Please help if you can! Here's the story...for a few months I've been extremely fatigued, losing weight, dizzy & just not feeling good. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong so I thought oh well just adjusting to my new life. Then last night I started urinating blood with clots in it! Went to the doctor and no infection. I have pain especially when passing a clot, but otherwise just more of an aching, slight cramping, pressure type main in my lower abdomen. I even have a pressure pain in the rectal area & have no rectum or part of my colon any longer. They are going to do an ultrasound on my bladder & kidneys Thursday & are making me an appt. with a urologist for a citoscope (sorry if I misspelled). My doctor just kind of shook his head & gave me some kind of pity look. No real explanation as to what is going on. At the time I was in shock, because I just figured a bad UTI or something, so I wasn't prepared to ask questions. Now since I've gotten home and done some research I AM SCARED!! I am showing symptoms of Bladder Cancer! Am I freaking out to soon??? As survivors we are always leary of the "C" word! Can anybody help? I don't know what questions to ask...I'm scared to tell loved ones of my fears because they have been through enough already. I live in a very rural area so getting answers & tests done quick is not easy. Do you guys have any suggesstions? Am I just having a post cancer freak out? About ready to have a break down here! Please help if you can.

Posts: 562
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Dee,

Take a deep breath and breathe. No matter what it will be ok. The miracles they perform nowadays is just amazing. Thursday is just a heartbeat away. I just had an ultrasound on my breasts and I spoke with the radiologist right after, so you should not have to wait for answers. Worrying and being upset will not change the outcome. It could easily be a cyst or a stone. My husband has had several bladder stones, they just blast them with a laser. Try not to worry.

Dee2005's picture
Posts: 24
Joined: Oct 2011

Thanks, I forgot to just breathe! You're right it could be something else. Let's hope & pray meanwhile I'm only gonna let you guys know of my fears. Thank you for responding so quickly!!! I know that worrying about tomorrow only depletes our strength for today...now if I can just get myself to calm down.

mp327's picture
Posts: 4106
Joined: Jan 2010

I know it's not easy, but try not to worry yourself sick over this. Thursday is almost here, so hopefully the scope will reveal what is causing the bleeding and that it will be something simple to fix and minor. I realize after once we have cancer, we all tend to think the worst with every ache, pain or symptom, but 99% of the time there is nothing wrong. I hope you will get reassuring news that nothing is seriously wrong--please let us know what you find out.

Posts: 242
Joined: Feb 2011

Dee ... hang in there. Focus on all that is good ... and meditate if you can. Keep us informed ... we are here for you and you're not alone. xoxoxo

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