my friend...

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Nonna2005
Nonna2005 Member Posts: 16
in Colorectal Cancer #1
My best friend has had surgery they took part of her liver. later they went back in and removed some stuff from her colon and lymphnodes. After all this, they now say...Oh, you had stage 4 colon cancer. It didnt start in your Liver! She is now back in the hospital. having scans, looking for more! she is getting ready for chemo and such. They have inserted a "stick line" (not sure if thats the correct name)she is on constant pain meds. I guess my question is this... What can I do or say, that will make her feel better??? I am taking care of her animals for her but, I feel I should be doing more! I just dont know how to handle this! Please help... Liz

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  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #2
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    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry you have to be here,but we will help as much as we can.You probably mean a pick line,that's for chemo treatment.It sounds like you are already doing alot to help her,but you can give her some support emotionally,and find out what is going on from the doctors,because she probably won't understand what they mean.Just try to keep her spirits up,and good luck.
  • Nonna2005
    Nonna2005 Member Posts: 16
    #3
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    karguy said:

    I'm sorry
    I'm sorry you have to be here,but we will help as much as we can.You probably mean a pick line,that's for chemo treatment.It sounds like you are already doing alot to help her,but you can give her some support emotionally,and find out what is going on from the doctors,because she probably won't understand what they mean.Just try to keep her spirits up,and good luck.

    thank you
    Thank you so much. It feels better just knowing you all are out there... I am trying to stay positive. I am waiting to hear from her today on the results of the latest scan.
    and yes..pick line is what I was trying to remember. thank you.. :)
    Hope to speak with you again... Liz
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428 Member
    #4
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    You are a good best friend
    You are a good best friend to be out here searching for information. Taking care of her animals will ease some anxiety for her. She could be in for what I hope is a long journey. She will need you to hang in there way past this initial shock. Keep the communication lines open. Texts are great. They keep the communication lines open but give her control of when to respond. Stay positive. Lisa
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #5
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    buckeye2 said:

    You are a good best friend
    You are a good best friend to be out here searching for information. Taking care of her animals will ease some anxiety for her. She could be in for what I hope is a long journey. She will need you to hang in there way past this initial shock. Keep the communication lines open. Texts are great. They keep the communication lines open but give her control of when to respond. Stay positive. Lisa

    Liz
    I'll bet just knowing you are there is making her feel better. Give lots of gentle hugs. Be there when she talks to her doctors. An extra pair of ears is very helpful for all the new info she'll receive. Make sure one of you writes it down or records it. Just let her know you'll always be there when she needs you. She should never lose hope. When she feels up to it, have her read(and join) this forum. There are many amazing stories of survival and tons of helpful info concerning traditional and alternative treatments. This is a very special group of friends.

    Luv,

    Wolfen
  • Nonna2005
    Nonna2005 Member Posts: 16
    #6
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    wolfen said:

    Liz
    I'll bet just knowing you are there is making her feel better. Give lots of gentle hugs. Be there when she talks to her doctors. An extra pair of ears is very helpful for all the new info she'll receive. Make sure one of you writes it down or records it. Just let her know you'll always be there when she needs you. She should never lose hope. When she feels up to it, have her read(and join) this forum. There are many amazing stories of survival and tons of helpful info concerning traditional and alternative treatments. This is a very special group of friends.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    I do thank you all!!
    I am so happy to have found this place and you wonderful people!! I cant thank you enough for taking the time to reply!! It is greatly appreciated!!
    Liz... :)
  • Brenda Bricco
    Brenda Bricco Member Posts: 579 Member
    #7
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    Thank you for being such a
    Thank you for being such a great friend, your friend is blessed to have you.
    As a caregiver I can tell you that there isn't always something to be said, sometimes it's just being by her side. Tell her what she means to you and that you will be there how ever she needs you to be. I know you must feel like your head is just spinning so hang out here with us and we will pick you up how ever we can. God bless you.
    Brenda
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #8
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    From my experience...
    Please don't give blind assurances that you know she'll be fine, that she'll beat this thing. Unfortunately, we don't know (and I respond to people who tell me that, that if my drs don't know, how can they be so sure?)

    However, assure her that you'll be with her through this, and do whatever you can to make this ordeal easier.

    Laughing is good. Watch comedies with her. Her world may be crashing around her, but distractions and humor are important. Try to keep her living her whole life, not just the cancer portion.

    And sometimes, you'll just sit with her and hold her hand. It's all good.

    Thank you for being her friend. We cancer patients need you. Your caring is appreciated by all of us, not just your friend.

    Thank you for being our friend.

    Alice
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #9
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    You'll Know What to Do.....
    .....and when to do it:)

    Liz, this is new for you as well. First, let me say that I wish I would have had a friend just to be around me when I felt up to it. That goes a long way right there. Taking care of her pets is great...things like that will help more than you both will know. I was so sick last year with a new puppy, that it was all I could do to get up sometimes and get him fed and drinking water. So, that's great kind of help, believe you me.

    Anything that she might need when you were available to help her. Taking her to the store, or going for her. Giving her a ride to an appt or treatment if she were too sick to drive on her own.

    Just somebody to talk to about cancer - or not, and just regular friend things that you do. If she wants to talk, you can just listen and empathisize with her on what she would be telling you. Because, she would be telling you in trust and friendship. Sometimes, just a shoulder or to shed a tear - other times to watch tv or movie and share a laugh.

    I certainly wish I had a friend like you. I'll just go ahead and thank you right now.

    There's alot to learn and we can't cram it down your throat in one lesson. There will be "trials and smiles" and "fears and tears." But together, you will be there together. It's important to remember that you were friends before cancer and nothing changed, except she got sick. She's still the same person that you always cared about. Stay by her, because you will grow in ways you cannot imagine today.

    I won't bore you to tears with my story, just quickly. I'm a stage IV - fighting for 7.5 years - 3 cancer recurrences - 51x chemo of all kinds - 55x radiation treatments - 3 Cyberknife treatments - 4 major surgeries - tons of other stuff I can't remember this evening.

    When things get started and they start to put a game plan together for her, I'm sure questions will begin to pop up. So, just post those questions here and the many of us will try and stop by and see how we can help.

    Just take the info one step at a time - this is a process and can get quite overwhelming, but there is plenty of time for that. We get the gameplan and start getting after it and then we address the issues that may or may not come up. We'll just take those one at a time as well.

    Nice to meet you and welcome to you both:)

    -Craig
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #10
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    Sundanceh said:

    You'll Know What to Do.....
    .....and when to do it:)

    Liz, this is new for you as well. First, let me say that I wish I would have had a friend just to be around me when I felt up to it. That goes a long way right there. Taking care of her pets is great...things like that will help more than you both will know. I was so sick last year with a new puppy, that it was all I could do to get up sometimes and get him fed and drinking water. So, that's great kind of help, believe you me.

    Anything that she might need when you were available to help her. Taking her to the store, or going for her. Giving her a ride to an appt or treatment if she were too sick to drive on her own.

    Just somebody to talk to about cancer - or not, and just regular friend things that you do. If she wants to talk, you can just listen and empathisize with her on what she would be telling you. Because, she would be telling you in trust and friendship. Sometimes, just a shoulder or to shed a tear - other times to watch tv or movie and share a laugh.

    I certainly wish I had a friend like you. I'll just go ahead and thank you right now.

    There's alot to learn and we can't cram it down your throat in one lesson. There will be "trials and smiles" and "fears and tears." But together, you will be there together. It's important to remember that you were friends before cancer and nothing changed, except she got sick. She's still the same person that you always cared about. Stay by her, because you will grow in ways you cannot imagine today.

    I won't bore you to tears with my story, just quickly. I'm a stage IV - fighting for 7.5 years - 3 cancer recurrences - 51x chemo of all kinds - 55x radiation treatments - 3 Cyberknife treatments - 4 major surgeries - tons of other stuff I can't remember this evening.

    When things get started and they start to put a game plan together for her, I'm sure questions will begin to pop up. So, just post those questions here and the many of us will try and stop by and see how we can help.

    Just take the info one step at a time - this is a process and can get quite overwhelming, but there is plenty of time for that. We get the gameplan and start getting after it and then we address the issues that may or may not come up. We'll just take those one at a time as well.

    Nice to meet you and welcome to you both:)

    -Craig

    Ditto to what everyone has
    Ditto to what everyone has told you here. We can't change what is here, but we can try and help our body fight! Tell her about us and that we are waiting to help her through this journey that we are all on! Hugs!!
  • Nonna2005
    Nonna2005 Member Posts: 16
    #11
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    Nana b said:

    Ditto to what everyone has
    Ditto to what everyone has told you here. We can't change what is here, but we can try and help our body fight! Tell her about us and that we are waiting to help her through this journey that we are all on! Hugs!!

    You all are wonderful...
    I cant thank you all enough!! I am taking this all in. She is coming home today. Will find out on Monday or Tuesday when Chemo will begin. I am sure I will be back here for more advice and encouraging words. I hope you all are having a good day. You all are in my prayers. I cant express how grateful I am to have found you all!!!
    Thank you again... Liz

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