I'm a rad grad.. Again!
Things have been so crazy busy, so sorry it's been a while since my last update. Yesterday was my last radiation treatment and I couldn't be happier! Its such a weird feeling finishing treatments because its like.. now what? I guess I finally have time to catch my breath. I've been waking up every day at 6:30 to spend 3 hours in the car and get treatments on top of school and physical therapy and sorority events. School has been really hard lately. I had three nursing exams and a 12 page psychology paper last week, so lets just say I haven't been sleeping much. I've had a upper respitory infection for a little over two weeks now, so my overbearing parents made me get a chest x-ray because they were worried about lung mets. I of course thought they were being overdramatic, but I humored them and had one and everything looked fine.
I've been so up and down emotionally lately, because I'm constantly trying to find a balance where I don't live my life in fear that my cancer will just spread somewhere else, but at the same time being aware of the possibilities. I guess you could say I'm "cautiously optimistic" that radiation did the trick. Its just getting hard. I know being sick sucks for everyone at any age and in no way do I feel it is any more unfair that I got it at this age, but the priorities of a 20 year old are very different. Image is a big deal in college and for any young adult girl. Its definitely hard feeling so insecure. I still wear a wig and I have a prosthetic and I still haven't lost the chemo weight, so its tough not feeling as confident as I used to. Its especially hard trying to date and explain to a guy my laundry list of issues. I want so desperately to just feel normal and have a normal college experience. I guess sometimes I get angry that my fun years when I should be partying and care-free have been taken away from me.
I've been on a major health kick lately. I'm determined to lose the 15 lbs I gained while going through chemo and I'm almost completely back to normal aside from the fact that I still can't run. I am learning to be patient though. I have my appointment with my plastic surgeon next week and I am excited to hopefully have my surgery next semester. I'm thinking I want to do a TRAM flap breast surgery, but at this point I don't even care. I just want to get my surgery over with and have boobs again. I have my next pet scan right before Christmas, so lots of prayers that everything looks good. I don't even know how I would react to being told I was "officially" in remission. Seems too good to be true and so distant from now. I am so used to being sick, that its hard to imagine life going back to normal. Sorry for rambling! Hope you all are doing great! Thanks for all of the love.
Lots of Prayers!
Kat
Comments
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Faith
Hi Kat -- As usual, it's always good to see your posts. So happy radiation treatments are done!!!
You continue to believe you will recover and be in remission. Always keep those thoughts in your head and heart and God shall do the rest. You're right about this not being fair for anyone, no matter what age, but you've accomplished so much at your age already. I bet everything else seems so small now - sorry this happened to you too. But hey, you keep your head up no matter what. I am one who believes we've all advanced to another level, mentally and spiritually. We all know life can end at any time and we should enjoy life and try to stay positive. Yes everyone else is "healthy', but at some point in their lives they too will experience a life changing event. But this too shall pass.
I can imagine school being hard, but it's process and soon it will seen like a bad dream. You will do well not only with your health, but in your love life and career-wise. I think the man who wins your heart will be extremely lucky. And you better believe that. He will learn so much from you. You take it one step at a time, and you will have a wonderful partner who values you as a strong woman. Believe it.
You continue to inspire all of us. Stay as beautiful as you are.
You'll be in my prayers for a clean Pet. Feel better soon.
Hugs0 -
Kat so good to read yourLoveBabyJesus said:Faith
Hi Kat -- As usual, it's always good to see your posts. So happy radiation treatments are done!!!
You continue to believe you will recover and be in remission. Always keep those thoughts in your head and heart and God shall do the rest. You're right about this not being fair for anyone, no matter what age, but you've accomplished so much at your age already. I bet everything else seems so small now - sorry this happened to you too. But hey, you keep your head up no matter what. I am one who believes we've all advanced to another level, mentally and spiritually. We all know life can end at any time and we should enjoy life and try to stay positive. Yes everyone else is "healthy', but at some point in their lives they too will experience a life changing event. But this too shall pass.
I can imagine school being hard, but it's process and soon it will seen like a bad dream. You will do well not only with your health, but in your love life and career-wise. I think the man who wins your heart will be extremely lucky. And you better believe that. He will learn so much from you. You take it one step at a time, and you will have a wonderful partner who values you as a strong woman. Believe it.
You continue to inspire all of us. Stay as beautiful as you are.
You'll be in my prayers for a clean Pet. Feel better soon.
Hugs
Kat so good to read your post. Congratulations on being
a rad grad. Maybe now you will not have to get up quite so
early and have more campus time! Your studies schedule
sounds grueling, but you'll be a wonderful and empathic
nurse since you know what it is like to be a vulnerable
patient. Sending my best to you and praying your scan will
perfect. You are always an inspiration. It will be one
lucky young man who takes you to your winter formal!
Stay the same beautiful young lady; God bless.
Luv & hugs, Teresa0 -
I am going to call you SUPER WOMAN!
Dear Kat,
You have so many things on your plate and you are handling all of them...rads, driving 3 hours, physical therapy, sorority events, school, and exams. I am officially naming you SUPER WOMAN!!!
Don't worry. The weight will come off. Next, take one day at a time. Soon you will break for Christmas holidays. Give yourself some extra sleep and rest. Your body and mind need it.
Unfortunately the cancer has made you different, but look at how it has given you strength in more ways than one. to fight it. I don't know how many girls would have dealt with it and fought it as you have. And....you are so level headed. You express yourself well. You are evolving into a beautiful, caring, sensitive woman.
As far as your fun years, there are also a lot of fun years after college. And finally, you will feel normal once again, but I can't give you a time clock on it.
I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. For one so young, you are a fighter!!!!! Know that you are in my prayers.
Lots of Love and Lots of Hugs,
Janelle0 -
Kat, congrats you rad grad!gami43 said:Kat so good to read your
Kat so good to read your post. Congratulations on being
a rad grad. Maybe now you will not have to get up quite so
early and have more campus time! Your studies schedule
sounds grueling, but you'll be a wonderful and empathic
nurse since you know what it is like to be a vulnerable
patient. Sending my best to you and praying your scan will
perfect. You are always an inspiration. It will be one
lucky young man who takes you to your winter formal!
Stay the same beautiful young lady; God bless.
Luv & hugs, Teresa
Kat, congrats you rad grad! You always amaze me with how you live your life to the fullest. You really do Kat!
I will be praying that the rads did their job and that you will have good results with your scan in December.
Be sure and post to let us know.
Hugs, Debby0 -
double postgami43 said:Kat so good to read your
Kat so good to read your post. Congratulations on being
a rad grad. Maybe now you will not have to get up quite so
early and have more campus time! Your studies schedule
sounds grueling, but you'll be a wonderful and empathic
nurse since you know what it is like to be a vulnerable
patient. Sending my best to you and praying your scan will
perfect. You are always an inspiration. It will be one
lucky young man who takes you to your winter formal!
Stay the same beautiful young lady; God bless.
Luv & hugs, Teresa
double post0 -
FYI, if you want the tram
FYI, if you want the tram flap be careful about loosing weight. I was told I only have enough for an A cup now. If I loose the chemo weight, I won't even have that! Talk to the surgeon maybe first.
All the best, I hope the next set of scans are clean!
Cindy0 -
Kat,mamolady said:FYI, if you want the tram
FYI, if you want the tram flap be careful about loosing weight. I was told I only have enough for an A cup now. If I loose the chemo weight, I won't even have that! Talk to the surgeon maybe first.
All the best, I hope the next set of scans are clean!
Cindy
I don't post often, but I want to tell you, you are an amazing girl! Keep fighting!0 -
Kat, congratulations on
Kat, congratulations on finishing another round of radiation. I love that you humor your parents!! They are helping you to stay on top of this ugly disease. The biggest amazement for me is all that you are accomplishing, but in getting to know you over the last year, this is what I have come to expect. As a mom, sometimes I want to tell you to slow down! laugh
As for dating, I agree it is hard enough to meet someone without being sick. On the other hand, your 'list of medical laundry' could be a blessing. You will know when you do meet the right one, and he accepts all of you, that he is in it because he loves you without limitations or hesitation, and that will happen. You are a beautiful, amazing, driven young woman and that comes across.
Don't let this beast take any part of your self confidence away, continue using it to make yourself even stronger.
Prayers and good wishes that your next Pet will be clear.
Hugs, Carol0 -
Congrats
Congrats on being a rad grad, hopefully it'll be the last time you ever have to do that.
As others here have said, you're an amazing, brave super woman. I got tired just reading the list of things you do. You will be a wonderful nurse and this experience will just add to that ability.
I'm sure it is harder for you than me (I'm 58) because there are different priorities in your life than in mine. When you find the right guy, there won't be any problems with your "laundry list" of issues. Maybe in that respect you'll have it easier -- if he can't deal with it, he's not the right guy for you (or probably anyone else).
Best of luck. Keep us posted on the results of your next scan, which I'll be praying comes back great. Also glad you humored your parents and got the chest x-ray. We'll take good news any where we can get it.
Prayers and hugs
marge0 -
Woohoo!! Rad Grad!! (again)
Boy have you been busy. My daughter always got a repiratory thing around finals and your schedule mirrors finals if you ask me. But at least you have the peace of mind of knowing your chest x-ray was clear of mets.
Hang in there, you are one tough pink warrior and when you set your mind to losing the weight it will have no other choice but to come off.
Hold your head high, you are a beautiful young lady with limitless strength and bravery. All of the rest will fall into place for you. It may not be the ideal situation but my money is on you being not only a survivor but a thriver.
Take care,
Jennifer0 -
Congrats Kat!mamolady said:FYI, if you want the tram
FYI, if you want the tram flap be careful about loosing weight. I was told I only have enough for an A cup now. If I loose the chemo weight, I won't even have that! Talk to the surgeon maybe first.
All the best, I hope the next set of scans are clean!
Cindy
Great to see your posting such good news on being a rad grad! You do astonish me Kat in all that you do. You are just amazing!
HUGS!0 -
Congratulations Kat!camul said:Kat, congratulations on
Kat, congratulations on finishing another round of radiation. I love that you humor your parents!! They are helping you to stay on top of this ugly disease. The biggest amazement for me is all that you are accomplishing, but in getting to know you over the last year, this is what I have come to expect. As a mom, sometimes I want to tell you to slow down! laugh
As for dating, I agree it is hard enough to meet someone without being sick. On the other hand, your 'list of medical laundry' could be a blessing. You will know when you do meet the right one, and he accepts all of you, that he is in it because he loves you without limitations or hesitation, and that will happen. You are a beautiful, amazing, driven young woman and that comes across.
Don't let this beast take any part of your self confidence away, continue using it to make yourself even stronger.
Prayers and good wishes that your next Pet will be clear.
Hugs, Carol
Just saying congrats doesn't seem like enough for you Kat! You are an inspiration to everyone!
Hugs, Jan0 -
YIPPEE! Doesn't it feel good?grams2jc said:Woohoo!! Rad Grad!! (again)
Boy have you been busy. My daughter always got a repiratory thing around finals and your schedule mirrors finals if you ask me. But at least you have the peace of mind of knowing your chest x-ray was clear of mets.
Hang in there, you are one tough pink warrior and when you set your mind to losing the weight it will have no other choice but to come off.
Hold your head high, you are a beautiful young lady with limitless strength and bravery. All of the rest will fall into place for you. It may not be the ideal situation but my money is on you being not only a survivor but a thriver.
Take care,
Jennifer
Even if it is a repeat performance. Remember to take care of yourself with your schedule. Rads compromise your immune system too so try and get some more rest etc. Hang in there pink sister!0 -
So glad to hear you are
So glad to hear you are finished with the radiation. Sounds like you have done an amazing job juggling school and treatments. Congratulations! Now you can focus on school and having fun.
I also am trying to lose the 15 pounds that I gained during chemo. It is coming off slowly. I know what you are saying about the fear of the cancer returning. I don't want to live in fear, but it is hard not to go there. Whenever I get a strange pain or ache, my first thought is cancer.
Continue the healthy eating and exercise. That is the best thing you can do.
I hope you can start enjoying your college years soon and make some great memories.
Cindy0 -
Katttttttttttttttgrams2jc said:Woohoo!! Rad Grad!! (again)
Boy have you been busy. My daughter always got a repiratory thing around finals and your schedule mirrors finals if you ask me. But at least you have the peace of mind of knowing your chest x-ray was clear of mets.
Hang in there, you are one tough pink warrior and when you set your mind to losing the weight it will have no other choice but to come off.
Hold your head high, you are a beautiful young lady with limitless strength and bravery. All of the rest will fall into place for you. It may not be the ideal situation but my money is on you being not only a survivor but a thriver.
Take care,
Jennifer
So great to see you posting and with such wonderful news! You got your diploma rad grad!
I think everyone was really worrying since it had been awhile since you last posted.
You are a hero Kat to all of us!
Hugs, Megan0 -
:-)
My goodness Kat you have a lot on your plate right now, take a breath and a few moments just for you! I am thrilled to hear you finished your rads what a great step on the reclaiming your heath road! It takes time to readjust to not having to go to treatment but it is a nice adjustment to have to make. Hope that upper respitory issue has cleared up or clears up soon! You will be in my prayers for a clean PET please let us know when you know.
Hugs,
RE0 -
Thinking of you Kat!mwallace1325 said:Congrats
Congrats on being a rad grad, hopefully it'll be the last time you ever have to do that.
As others here have said, you're an amazing, brave super woman. I got tired just reading the list of things you do. You will be a wonderful nurse and this experience will just add to that ability.
I'm sure it is harder for you than me (I'm 58) because there are different priorities in your life than in mine. When you find the right guy, there won't be any problems with your "laundry list" of issues. Maybe in that respect you'll have it easier -- if he can't deal with it, he's not the right guy for you (or probably anyone else).
Best of luck. Keep us posted on the results of your next scan, which I'll be praying comes back great. Also glad you humored your parents and got the chest x-ray. We'll take good news any where we can get it.
Prayers and hugs
marge
Thinking of you Kat!0 -
☻grams2jc said:Woohoo!! Rad Grad!! (again)
Boy have you been busy. My daughter always got a repiratory thing around finals and your schedule mirrors finals if you ask me. But at least you have the peace of mind of knowing your chest x-ray was clear of mets.
Hang in there, you are one tough pink warrior and when you set your mind to losing the weight it will have no other choice but to come off.
Hold your head high, you are a beautiful young lady with limitless strength and bravery. All of the rest will fall into place for you. It may not be the ideal situation but my money is on you being not only a survivor but a thriver.
Take care,
Jennifer
Saying congrats doesn't seem like enough after all you've been thru Kat. Such an accomplishment and we are all rooting for you and supporting you.
♥ Kristin ♥0
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