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Angry, Hurt!!

Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2011


I just need a sound board before I go home! I had a specialist apt today as I have some issues with my parathyroid glad. She was supposed to come with me. She knew I was scared. She canceled on me this morning. No matter how I feel, no matter what, I'm there. I've never felt so uncared for throw this whole thing until this morning. I thought this was a two way street. I didn't realized I was in this by myself. Sorry just need to vent as I am hurt by this. It's not like this was a surprise, we've known for the last 2 months that I had this apt. I guess my own health is just not important to her. Well at least I know not to ask her back for any other apt. I will just deal with it myself.

ddpekks's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

I didn't see your post till today. How did your appointment go? I hope it was not bad news, but something that can be treated and released!

I do know what you are saying about the one way thing. I have felt like that before myself. Hopefully she will realize the error of her ways and at least appologize for it. If not, just move on. Take each day one at a time and deal with situations as they arise. That's all we can do.

I know this isn't any help, but wanted to let you know that I hear you.


Posts: 22
Joined: Oct 2011


I do feel better today. I did tell her honestly how much it hurt me. I have something called hyperparathyroidism that messes with my calcium in my body. It hurts my belly, bones, and mind. It makes me very tire and my throat is very swollen that I choke. Most people with this condition have a begnin tumor. It's something that can be fixed with a very quick surgery but first have to find the little bugger that's causing all the damage.

DrMary's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Nov 2010

Cancer patients can be so selfish! I think they get used to the universe revolving around them. My husband barely blinked when I mentioned I was going to the OB/GYN on the advice of his doctors, as his cancer was caused by HPV and I needed to get checked for cervical cancer (I was also having odd symptoms that were worrisome).

I really thought he knew how upset I was about this, and for a while, I figured his apparent indifference came from a fear that the doctor would find an active HPV infection and tell me there was no way he'd been faithful for the last 30 years. . . .

In calm hindsight, I was able to see that he had not adjusted to the new world order. My telling him I had an appointment was not code for "worry about me." It was code for "I won't be here to take care of you for a few hours." He thought he was being "good" because he managed without me, and so couldn't understand why I was so very pissed off.

Your health is important to her - I think you folks just need to adjust your communication a bit. She feels that your health scare is not really a big deal, it seems. Don't exclude her from future appointments - say, in words, up front: I have a really important appointment and I'm scared to face the news by myself. Please be there with me.

Lastly, don't ignore the idea that doctor visits might just be hard for her. We went to visit my mother in the hospital recently - Doug had terrible flashbacks to bad days. I appreciate the fact that he stayed there and entertained my mother while I tried to find out how to spring her - especially when he probably wanted to run and hide. He threw up at his last PET scan - some of it was the fasting, but I think some of it was association. I'm sure your honey loves you, but maybe the idea of going to a doctor's office again was just too much for her right now.

I do hope you are feeling less alone now.

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