PET coming, Jim depressed

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jim and i
jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
Jim's follow up PET is set for Monday, Nov. 7 and he is very depressed. Monday morning he said he had a bad feeling about the results. This worries me because I do too. The lump under his tongue which is about the size of a large pea is worrying me. Could the cancer have gotten that big in such short time? It looks like the saliva gland that is enlarged but I am not good at anatomy. The ENT said he is watching it for a month.

Jim is not making progress and seems to be getting weaker and weaker. He was making plans for the future a few weeks ago but now he doesn't want to talk about the future. He says "Let's wait to see the results of the PET."

I firmly believe in the power of pryer. Please pray for us both to keep strong and pray for an NED.

Blessings

Debbie

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  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    Perfectly Normal
    Normal feeling to have... I still have anxiety and worry just befoe my PET exams and I'm over 2 1/2 years post treatment.

    The percentages just by the reults that I have seen on here are in favor it's just residual or something other than cancer.

    Thoughts and Prayers...you are in,
    John
  • KTeacher
    KTeacher Member Posts: 1,103
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    I can relate
    This past summer my husband wanted to make plans to get away. I just couldn't make plans. I knew that something was up with the lump that popped up on my neck. Spent just about each week of the summer going to Stanford for a test or something or other. My brother-in-law was really good at distracting my hubby while we stayed at their house. Not a great summer but we did have some good times with my sister and her husband. My PET Scan did not show anything, doctor accepted a position in New York, new doctor--more poking and prodding, decided on a biopsy. After the biopsy it was found to be mets. Put on the boxing gloves and got back in the battle. Mine was very rare, radiologist was shocked to have me back for more radiation. Keep your appointments, ask questions, request more tests if you are not comfortable. Hopefully it is nothing but if it is something, get it early. Not fun to fight again but he has your support, it can be done again.
  • hawk711
    hawk711 Member Posts: 566
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    KTeacher said:

    I can relate
    This past summer my husband wanted to make plans to get away. I just couldn't make plans. I knew that something was up with the lump that popped up on my neck. Spent just about each week of the summer going to Stanford for a test or something or other. My brother-in-law was really good at distracting my hubby while we stayed at their house. Not a great summer but we did have some good times with my sister and her husband. My PET Scan did not show anything, doctor accepted a position in New York, new doctor--more poking and prodding, decided on a biopsy. After the biopsy it was found to be mets. Put on the boxing gloves and got back in the battle. Mine was very rare, radiologist was shocked to have me back for more radiation. Keep your appointments, ask questions, request more tests if you are not comfortable. Hopefully it is nothing but if it is something, get it early. Not fun to fight again but he has your support, it can be done again.

    I too can relate
    Debbie
    The tests are given to find out what is really going on....wait until the results are in. I too find every pain, soreness, etc that occurs MUST be cancer returning....I tell myself to enjoy the "day" and it will all work out. I find if I try to enjoy each day and make sure that I tell others I love them that it helps my own attitude. I am 19 months out and I understand the 2 year period is the first real hurdle to get over....I am close and Jim is having some real problems, I understand, but try to get his focus on the day at hand and to worry about the results when the test comes in...I know it's hard, but positive attitude is really important as you know.....
    Sorry to hear that Jim is having to deal with all these issues and feelings, my prayers are with you going forward...
    All the best,
    Steve
  • NJR
    NJR Member Posts: 82
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    PET anxiety
    Hi Debbie,
    I know how he feels. I am currently awaiting results of my last Biopsy and have a PET scheduled for the 16th. At the request of those who love me, no matter what a jerk I can be, I requested and received a prescription for diazapam which turned out to be a blessing. As the dates approach the anxiety turns me into a different person I think mostly because of the lost sleep. Even something less potent such as Xanex might be just the ticket for a few days before such events.

    As far as growing in size. One of my nodes grew from the size of a pea to the size of a golf ball in a matter of 10 days. I don't know if it is backed up by science but it appeared very much to me that my cancer seemed to grow in spurts. From nothing over night to the size of a pea. Then no growth for an extended period only to explode without warning and never any pain until it interfered directly with my vagus nerve. Then of course, never anything but pain.
    Head and Neck cancers are as sneaky as my ex wife. ;-)

    Best of luck to you both,
    Nick
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    Hi Debbie

    Understand where he is on the worrying as we all do right before the PET scan, my PET is schedule Dec 8th so I am just a mouth behind Jim.

    Right after I finished my last radiation treatment I had a little bulge come out on the right side of my neck, I too worried about it. But when the doctor seen it he say nothing so I asked hay what is this bulge on my neck. Oh that he say more then likely it is just some scar tissue, sure enough after my first PET it showed nothing there. I still have it but don’t worry about it any more.

    I am with you in prayer for Jim, our Lord and Savior is still in control and knows our every need.
    Hondo
  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
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    Thanks
    For all your support. Jim is doing better this afternoon. I was able to get him out with me while I ran errands which helped some. He even said he needed to get out more. Hope the fresh air keeps his spirits up for awhile. Tomorrow he goes to the swallow therapist. I hope she gives him some good news.

    Blessings

    Debbie
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    jim and i said:

    Thanks
    For all your support. Jim is doing better this afternoon. I was able to get him out with me while I ran errands which helped some. He even said he needed to get out more. Hope the fresh air keeps his spirits up for awhile. Tomorrow he goes to the swallow therapist. I hope she gives him some good news.

    Blessings

    Debbie

    Hi Debbie
    I remember being too weak to do anything and my wife would have to bring me to my doctors appointments. One day while laying on the table waiting on the doctor, I could see her mouth moving but could not hear anything. I ask her if she was praying she said no just singing, singing I said, singing what, One day at a time dear Jesus that’s all I am asking for you. Wow I remember that everytime I feel bad now and so I started to sing it too and it makes me feel better.

    Will keep Jim in prayer for his test tomorrow.
    ╠╣ONDO
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    Hondo said:

    Hi Debbie
    I remember being too weak to do anything and my wife would have to bring me to my doctors appointments. One day while laying on the table waiting on the doctor, I could see her mouth moving but could not hear anything. I ask her if she was praying she said no just singing, singing I said, singing what, One day at a time dear Jesus that’s all I am asking for you. Wow I remember that everytime I feel bad now and so I started to sing it too and it makes me feel better.

    Will keep Jim in prayer for his test tomorrow.
    ╠╣ONDO

    Mouth Moving
    "Her mouth was moving but I could not hear anything..."

    May she was doing what I do to my poor mother when I'm bored or annoyed because she wants to have a conversation with out her hearing aids in...

    My mouth is moving, but I'm not making any sound, LOL.... OK, not nice, but sometimes I just have to pay her back a little for all of those little things she's put me through over the years...

    JG
  • olybee
    olybee Member Posts: 85
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    Skiffin16 said:

    Mouth Moving
    "Her mouth was moving but I could not hear anything..."

    May she was doing what I do to my poor mother when I'm bored or annoyed because she wants to have a conversation with out her hearing aids in...

    My mouth is moving, but I'm not making any sound, LOL.... OK, not nice, but sometimes I just have to pay her back a little for all of those little things she's put me through over the years...

    JG

    depression
    with cancer, duh. I have to say, I wonder if anyone who's had cancer has ever made it through without depression. That would be weird. I think this time of year, fall/winter weather setting in, just can't help make it harder, too. I hope things turn out okay for you, and I guess all I can say is "hang in there."
    As a caregiver, I've got to say that cancer has me depressed, and I don't even have to LIVE with it in my body.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    Skiffin16 said:

    Mouth Moving
    "Her mouth was moving but I could not hear anything..."

    May she was doing what I do to my poor mother when I'm bored or annoyed because she wants to have a conversation with out her hearing aids in...

    My mouth is moving, but I'm not making any sound, LOL.... OK, not nice, but sometimes I just have to pay her back a little for all of those little things she's put me through over the years...

    JG

    Deaf

    With out my hearing aids I can hear anything anyway. So when I don’t have them in I see people all the time moving there mouth and saying nothing. This works well when the wife is telling me to do something I don’t want to do, then I can say, ops sorry dear but I did not hear you…. Well it works sometimes

    ╠╣ONDO
  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks Member Posts: 477
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    Prayers Coming Your Way
    Debbie:

    I can certainly relate to the anxious feelings both of you are feeling. Charlie never talked about being depressed or anxious about pets. I'm sure he was;(anxious I mean, I have to say Charlie was one of the most positive people around, even to the end! He never seemed depressed to me, but like I say that's just the way he was.) but since I was such a basketcase, he always covered up for me! He was like that. But try and stay positive and will be praying for good results.

    Jan (Basketcase)
  • robinleigh
    robinleigh Member Posts: 297
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    we share your feelings
    We're all human and I think it's perfectly normal to have ups and downs. I also think that the patient and the caregiver are always going through different stages and therefore, when one is up, the other is down. Thus, we can keep each other moving forward.

    Waiting for PET results is totally anxiety provoking for us, as well. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst is one of our mottos. Sounds a little negative maybe but, it helps us keep some defense mechanisms up.

    Hope you get a really good report!
    Robin
  • backachedp
    backachedp Member Posts: 132
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    we share your feelings
    We're all human and I think it's perfectly normal to have ups and downs. I also think that the patient and the caregiver are always going through different stages and therefore, when one is up, the other is down. Thus, we can keep each other moving forward.

    Waiting for PET results is totally anxiety provoking for us, as well. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst is one of our mottos. Sounds a little negative maybe but, it helps us keep some defense mechanisms up.

    Hope you get a really good report!
    Robin

    It happens to all of us
    Prayers comming your way, as we all go thru this before each Scan weather PET CT...Bob just had his CT as Insurance said no PET Bob became very upset and worried espthis last time as he still can't eat normally and he choughs alot when drinking, talking...but it came out good..:=) I think it is going to be normal for a long time to be concerned and worried before every Appointment, every Test....I worry about myself every ache and pain makes me think oh no what if...but we have to try and be positive as hard as it is...I wish the best for you and Jim and will pray for you both to keep up the strength. I think I worry more than Bob, but he is a quiet man keep's alot to himself as he knows how emotional I get and he does not want me to worry and more than nessasary. I still am angry at BCBS of TX as they would not cover at PET Scan and so I called them and they said of course we would have paid for a PET Scan....the Hospital/Dr's did not have it pre Authorized....Not true Bob asked and they said yes we sent in the paperwork and they denied it...I have had nothing but trouble with them all the Faxes and calls I have made I get a different answer each time. Just try and hang in there and keep on keeping on...alot easier said than done as I know so well myself...I worry about worrying...Once Cancer enters your life things seem never to be the same, but Bob is alot happier and a changed Man since he beat the beast he does not let the little stuff bother him anymore he is happy to be alive and working P/T hoping to start F/T soon. One thing I wish is that we had better Insurance..just got a card in the mail re: Flex Spending I don't know much about it, but 5000.00 a year pre tax sounds like a good idea with all of his appointment's seems he is at the Dr one or 2 times a week still plus all the Dental stuff..he spent all day Tuesday at the Hospital between a complete Physical and Dentist Appt. 1/1/2 hrs in traffic comming home but he had a smile on his face and that is all that matter's..he is a happy man...I sure could learn alot from him...and have learned alot but wish I could be as positive....I have my own health issues and they are nothing compared to Cancer, and the after effects. Like Hondo say's the New normal..sorry to ramble on, but know everyone here is praying and thinking about you and Jim. Please let us know as soon as you know anything.
  • backachedp
    backachedp Member Posts: 132
    Options

    we share your feelings
    We're all human and I think it's perfectly normal to have ups and downs. I also think that the patient and the caregiver are always going through different stages and therefore, when one is up, the other is down. Thus, we can keep each other moving forward.

    Waiting for PET results is totally anxiety provoking for us, as well. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst is one of our mottos. Sounds a little negative maybe but, it helps us keep some defense mechanisms up.

    Hope you get a really good report!
    Robin

    It happens to all of us
    Prayers comming your way, as we all go thru this before each Scan weather PET CT...Bob just had his CT as Insurance said no PET Bob became very upset and worried espthis last time as he still can't eat normally and he choughs alot when drinking, talking...but it came out good..:=) I think it is going to be normal for a long time to be concerned and worried before every Appointment, every Test....I worry about myself every ache and pain makes me think oh no what if...but we have to try and be positive as hard as it is...I wish the best for you and Jim and will pray for you both to keep up the strength. I think I worry more than Bob, but he is a quiet man keep's alot to himself as he knows how emotional I get and he does not want me to worry and more than nessasary. I still am angry at BCBS of TX as they would not cover at PET Scan and so I called them and they said of course we would have paid for a PET Scan....the Hospital/Dr's did not have it pre Authorized....Not true Bob asked and they said yes we sent in the paperwork and they denied it...I have had nothing but trouble with them all the Faxes and calls I have made I get a different answer each time. Just try and hang in there and keep on keeping on...alot easier said than done as I know so well myself...I worry about worrying...Once Cancer enters your life things seem never to be the same, but Bob is alot happier and a changed Man since he beat the beast he does not let the little stuff bother him anymore he is happy to be alive and working P/T hoping to start F/T soon. One thing I wish is that we had better Insurance..just got a card in the mail re: Flex Spending I don't know much about it, but 5000.00 a year pre tax sounds like a good idea with all of his appointment's seems he is at the Dr one or 2 times a week still plus all the Dental stuff..he spent all day Tuesday at the Hospital between a complete Physical and Dentist Appt. 1/1/2 hrs in traffic comming home but he had a smile on his face and that is all that matter's..he is a happy man...I sure could learn alot from him...and have learned alot but wish I could be as positive....I have my own health issues and they are nothing compared to Cancer, and the after effects. Like Hondo say's the New normal..sorry to ramble on, but know everyone here is praying and thinking about you and Jim. Please let us know as soon as you know anything.
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
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    It happens to all of us
    Prayers comming your way, as we all go thru this before each Scan weather PET CT...Bob just had his CT as Insurance said no PET Bob became very upset and worried espthis last time as he still can't eat normally and he choughs alot when drinking, talking...but it came out good..:=) I think it is going to be normal for a long time to be concerned and worried before every Appointment, every Test....I worry about myself every ache and pain makes me think oh no what if...but we have to try and be positive as hard as it is...I wish the best for you and Jim and will pray for you both to keep up the strength. I think I worry more than Bob, but he is a quiet man keep's alot to himself as he knows how emotional I get and he does not want me to worry and more than nessasary. I still am angry at BCBS of TX as they would not cover at PET Scan and so I called them and they said of course we would have paid for a PET Scan....the Hospital/Dr's did not have it pre Authorized....Not true Bob asked and they said yes we sent in the paperwork and they denied it...I have had nothing but trouble with them all the Faxes and calls I have made I get a different answer each time. Just try and hang in there and keep on keeping on...alot easier said than done as I know so well myself...I worry about worrying...Once Cancer enters your life things seem never to be the same, but Bob is alot happier and a changed Man since he beat the beast he does not let the little stuff bother him anymore he is happy to be alive and working P/T hoping to start F/T soon. One thing I wish is that we had better Insurance..just got a card in the mail re: Flex Spending I don't know much about it, but 5000.00 a year pre tax sounds like a good idea with all of his appointment's seems he is at the Dr one or 2 times a week still plus all the Dental stuff..he spent all day Tuesday at the Hospital between a complete Physical and Dentist Appt. 1/1/2 hrs in traffic comming home but he had a smile on his face and that is all that matter's..he is a happy man...I sure could learn alot from him...and have learned alot but wish I could be as positive....I have my own health issues and they are nothing compared to Cancer, and the after effects. Like Hondo say's the New normal..sorry to ramble on, but know everyone here is praying and thinking about you and Jim. Please let us know as soon as you know anything.

    My Jim
    Also has a follow up PET Monday, 7 November.

    Looking forward to and dreading at the same time....