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Rollercoaster ride again

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

Hospice gave my Father in law 5 to 14 days last night. (CA liver) it is tearing my wife up(like its not bothering me?) She has spent the last 9 out of 14 days in the hospital and is just now starting to get her strength back. She feels like she is not helping her mom or family with her dads final trip. She has been fighting CA since March of 2008 herself. So here I'm working, doing the housework, cooking, and cleaning, even scooping the catbox (does anyone want a cat? I'll mail it to you free of charge) with all this I moight make someone a good wife one day. sorry for cheap stab at humor...

ddpekks's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

Mr. Steve.....so sorry you are having such a cruel ride on that ole rollercoaster, cause it sure sounds like you have your hands full. (and, NO, I don't want a cat!!! LOL) All I can do is encourage you to be there for her when she falls. It is really hard to hold her up when you know that she is wanting to hold someone else up, you know you will.

I hope you find some peace and solice in knowing that you are her "good wife", because it really is a very respected position. I admire you for it.

(If you send me a cat I will hunt you down............)


rocket baby's picture
rocket baby
Posts: 22
Joined: Sep 2010

If there has been one thing that I have learned about being a caregiver it is to hang on the my sense of humor. I am the primary caregiver to my husband who was dx 3a lung cancer in Sept. 2007. He responded to treatment very well even though they said 15-18 months. He is having a setback now and an onco appt. in November which he will not call and have moved up. He said all is in God's hands. I'm thankful that we've had him this much longer. I know what it is like to work, take care of the house and do EVERYTHING! You get so worn out. But keep your chin up and know that you are not alone. There are many of us out there that are praying for each other and here on this discussion board for support. I am blessed the my husband also has a good sense of humor....we have learned to laugh at things that would shock other people because they don't understand what this disease does to families.....you have to laugh because crying takes to much valuable energy. I'm here if you need to talk...my direct e-mail is bobmichelemo@aol.com.....take care, Michele

jimwins's picture
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

Mr Steve,

I'm proud of you and how strong you are. I know it's very hard.
If you ever saw the movie "Steel Magnolias" then you know you're
proving them wrong (not all men fall apart in this kind of crisis).
So, pat yourself on the back, buddy. We do what we have to do and
your wife is a very lucky person.

Ok, if you don't get to mail the cat, you might consider
the following:


Michelle is so right about a sense of humor.
I realize it may seem inappropriate at times to some folks
but it sure takes the edge off at times.

I think if I can make one person smile just for a little bit I've done something
meaningful. I think we all get plenty of the SERIOUS just dealing
with this as patients, caregivers, families and innocent onlookers.

Laughter is good for you - that's a fact.

I hope things improve for you guys,


ddpekks's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

I laughed so hard watching that, I almost fell off my chair. If my cat can't find a patch of sand in the back yard, he is in real trouble. He owns the screen porch where he comes and goes as he pleases, receives gifts of fresh water & cat kibble and delivers all of his gifts for me. I have been rewarded with birds, squirrels, bunnies, rats, snakes and enough frogs to feed China. I learned many years ago (right after I named him Chucky after that horrid doll movie) to check the floor carefully before stepping out the door.

Mr. Steve, we have hijacked your thread, but I live in fear that you are going to send me one of those frilly cats that must poop in a box in the powder room.

Hugs all around.


Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1566
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Mr Steve
Please do continue to keep your sense of humor...it is a great one! No, I do not want your "free" cat, I have 5 of my own..thank you! Anyway..keep keeping on my friend. Has hospice been called in for your father in law? They will be able to help all of you tremendously. Tell each other how much you care and love one another. Do not forget to communicate your true feelings. Do not let the anger take over too often. Live each day the best you can. Know that we are always here for you.
Tina in Va

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