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husband newly diagnosed

mef123
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2011

My husband was just diagnosed with colorectal cancer less then 2 weeks ago. I feel so numb. But I'd like to tell my story.

He's 39 years old, first off. I have bipolar and an anxiety disorder and we have all had it really hard with that for about 4 years. I've been in the psychiatric hospital 4 times in that time. So things aren't good. I'm depressed and anxiety is very high. Our son is 13 he has adhd and an anxiety disorder. I feel like we have so much on our plate and now we are hit with this. I know people have it worse. There are kids that have cancer. My husband is very positive. He had an infection in his colon and was in the hospital for 4 days and is now on some heavy duty antibiotics. They can't do anything until the infection is gone. Then they will do chemo (Xeloda) and radiation, then about 5-8 weeks later he will have surgery. I'm so confused. I feel like we rush then wait, rush then wait. My head is spinning and it isn't even me with the cancer. Do you ever feel like you have a black cloud over your head? Because that's how I feel. I guess I just wanted to know that we weren't the only ones (not that I wish this on anyone).

Michele

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

I know what they are... I am so sorry you have so much on your plate. I hope you find some strength and peace from everyone here, so many good folks going through teh same things.

ddpekks's picture
ddpekks
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

Hi Michele,
My husband was dx 12/2010 w/colorectal cancer. We started the same roller coaster ride that you just got on. At first it was terrifying and I thought I'd lose my mind with worry. I felt the same about the hurry up and wait. But, believe it or not, it will get easier, you will start taking it in stride.

You are lucky because you found this board early on. I just found it a couple months ago and before I did I thought I was the only person in the whole world going through what I was going through. I had no idea what to expect in any of this. I know now that there are so many going through the same thing and so many going through worse. My thereapy is to talk about it. I spend as much time as I can reading and posting here and on the "caregivers" board where I get great emotional understanding.

Don't hesitate to ask questions. People here love to share and are very supportive.

Hugs for you,
Deb

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6652
Joined: Feb 2009

First of all, welcome to the board. Here you will find a bunch of wonderful people that can help you and you husband try to come to grips with reality and help you with this journey and a rollercoaster of emotions and appointments. It will be hurry up and wait, appointment after appointment. Sorry to hear about your husband's situation and yours as well. This is an emotional ride on every level and all of you will need your strength. A lot of it you can find on this board. You probably do have a dark cloud about you but I'm hoping that you can put forth some of your fears and questions here. Ask away because there will usually always be someone that can help you with a question and/or just a venting of sorts. You and your husband will get through this. It just doesn't look that way right now. Come back often and let us know how he and you are doing.

Kim

steveandnat's picture
steveandnat
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

Sorry to hear about everything going on with you and your family. You have to hang tough because you will work through this. Keep in touch with everyone here. Praying all gets better soon.
Jeff

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

You're definitely not the only ones, but I understand how you could feel that way. Cancer is a lonely type of deal.

*hugs*
Gail

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

I'm really sorry that you have so many different challenges in your life right now. I can relate to some degree, as I have one kid with bipolar disorder, another who's ADHD, and now of course, I'm battling cancer. There's an old blues song called "If I Didn't Have Bad Luck, I Wouldn't Have No Luck at All", and sometimes that's how I feel! I don't have any special advice for you, except to say that I hope this forum provides you with both information and support. I don't post here very often, but I've learned a lot reading what others write. And I think it's important to have a place to share what you're experiencing, and vent as needed, outside the family. There are many caregivers on here who will relate to what you are going through. Take care, and keep us posted on how you all are doing-Ann
PS I hope you have some good meds that help. My house is like a pharmacy with all of our various psychiatric concoctions, but they have been lifesavers, esp. for my bipolar daughter.

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I think we all felt like a black cloud over our heads, the minute we all heard cancer. It isn't until a few that we get our "let's kick cancers arse" attitude. You all will get there. I know it seems particularly rough at this moment, with all the other family problems, but you will plow through this, and it will be okay, believe it or not.
Winter Marie

mef123
Posts: 45
Joined: Oct 2011

Thank you all. I hope things will settle down soon. I appreciate all of your comments, it really means alot to know people were where we are right now and got through it. I'll keep reading and posting.

ps My house is like a pharmacy.

Michele

theresa8's picture
theresa8
Posts: 61
Joined: Dec 2009

Dear Michelle,
Welcome to this great caring family. My husband was diagnosed in October 2009 with rectal cancer. He's doing just fine at the moment but I know what you mean by that black cloud feeling when we deal with lab and test results. One thing I can tell you from my own experience is that this discussion board was my inspiration in keeping a positive outlook on everything that was going on in our life. You are not alone, others with the same problem are out there ready to encourage you when you are feeling down. The best of luck to you and your family.

FeeBeeBud's picture
FeeBeeBud
Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2011

Michele,

Hello, welcome! The frenzy of the first three weeks after diagnosis has gone away a little bit at least for me now that we have a consistent treatment routine. But the pushing to get appointments, the waiting, calling, sending records--I feel you!!

I have found this board to provide a lot of comfort.

--FeeBee

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

Hi Michelle. You are at the right place. Also try the colon cancer alliance. I have been involved with them for over 5 years. They are great support and another fantastic resourse. I ma a 6 year survivor but I understand what you are going through as the spouce. I've seen the feeling of pain and helplessness on my wifes more times then I care to remember.

Jeff

cynthiapi40
Posts: 36
Joined: Sep 2011

I have had the summer from hell. First my father in law past in and accident and then a month later my husband was dx with stage four. I though I had to be in a deep dream and I can't wake up. I had to get it together some how. I have kids that I have to make sure is ok. I have had a lot of tears. I mean I have had the ugly cry often.

You will get through it. It will not be easy. But you can do it.

Cynthia

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

I found that with my husband's diagnosis with CRC that all my others problems that I thought were big, weren't that big of a deal. I think that is one positive thing I learned from this journey. Lisa

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