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Two Years

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

As most of you know, I am only posting occasionally now and lurking much of the rest of the time and answering some PMs. Today marks two years since I lost my love. Time does help. I am having lunch with some members of our cancer support group. One is celebrating her 70th birthday and we are remembering Doug. I know that will help, too. Last year, I could barely get up. I spent three day eating jelly bellies and potato chip right about then, too. This year, as one of my sons posted on Facebook, I am determined to live my life as best I can. I am blessed with a wonderful family and good friends. today I will count my blessings. I was truly blessed with our marriage of 42 years. He was a very special guy. I am still hearing from people whose lives he touched. God saw fit to take him from me much too early, but I am sure He had a reason. Blessings to all, Fay

Posts: 1862
Joined: Aug 2010

And remember thinking anyone who can get out of bed after subsisting off that for several days is going to make it! :)

I'm glad you are feeling better, Fay. It has been remarkable to see you chronicle your journey.

Thank you for sharing.

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6643
Joined: Apr 2009

Wow 42 years together that is a long time; my wife and I just celebrated 37 years together. She is so wonderful and so caring to me and was there all the time through thick and thin to help me along the way. I could have never done it with out her; I know now why God put her in my path. We talk about the what if and she know that no matter what happens to me here in this life I will forever love her.

Remember we are only passing through this place, someday we will all be together again that is the Faith and Hope we have as Christians.

God bless and be with you always

jimwins's picture
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

I wanted to say thanks for your posts. I have read
many of them. You are a blessing to us all.

I'm glad things are getting a little better for you.



Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Fay,
Wow, 2 years already. My hubby has been gone for 18 months. Some days are good and then all of a sudden I have some bad ones again. It's hard when you've been married for a long time to all of a sudden realize you're alone. I hate being responsible for everything don't you? Tom always could fix everything around the house and now I get upset when something breaks and have to call someone in.
There are so many of us on this board who are in the same situation as us. But we have to be strong and hope our loved ones who are no longer with us, are looking down & saying "I knew she could do it!"
Take care! Carole

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I am blessed to have some good friends and family especially from church. I have a couple of guys I can call for advice. One is a handyman I have hired to care for the yard, and he can usually either fix things or point me to someone who can. For the major things I check with my sons. Also, since we had some time to plan, Doug tried to take care of several remodels and maintainence problems before he died. Still, I understand what you mean about being the one responsible for everything. I don't like it, but I am finding I can do it. I always told Doug that I was a strong, independent women and that I would be alright. Now, little by little, I am trying to prove it to myself. Fay

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1566
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi GrandmaFay
So nice to see you posting! Glad to hear your jelly bean potato chip days are behind you! Behind being the key word!!! March 9 will mark my dad's 2 year mark. We share the same anniv. year, you and I. Keep up the good work. Mom and I are doing as well as we can.I am sure Doug and Dad have met, and are the best of friends! Keep in touch.
Tina in Va

Posts: 102
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi Fay
Good to hear from you. I too have learnt a lot of new skills around the house (some rather unwillingly). I am 2 weeks away from the two year mark and last night for the first time I dreamt of my husband. He gave me a card which had wording on it about the two year anniversary. I can't remember the exact wording but it was not a sad card more a marking of the event card. My husband always had an off beat sense of humour and this was very much his style. Its been two years and I still feel like he is very much with me just not physically. The dream did however leave me feeling a little off balance today.
I guess we will have to expect sad moments every so often.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I agree. We will always have sad moments. Today is one of those days for me. It's raining, and that seems to make sad moments happen more. I think the number one thing I have learned is to accept and expect those moments. That helps me anyway. I know what you mean about a sense of humor. Doug's still keeps my spirits up. I often find myself thinking how funny he would think something was. I hope the girls are doing well. Fay

Posts: 37
Joined: Sep 2011

I wanted to say thanks for your posts. I have read
many of them. They have helped me.
today is 30 days that I have been a alone first time in 33 years.

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

That's what we need.. to curl up and cry and stuff ourselves with jelly bellies and potato chips or whatever else we find comforting.. In my case, the week after my mother passed, I lived on lunchmeat and frozen Sara Lee cheesecake.... You are blessed with family and friends. I know that time will never completely take away your pain and sense of loss but it will ease it .
Big hugs,

Posts: 9
Joined: Sep 2010

it is 18 months for me and it feels like yesterday. I have read all of your posts and they helped me realize that I am not alone in my feelings. The 2nd year has not been any easier, which I was hoping it would be. Like you, my friends and family are there for me, but it is not the same. It is a deep loneliness that just doesn't disappear.

lovingwifedeb's picture
Posts: 184
Joined: Aug 2010


I just wanted to say thank you for all your support to me and everyone else you have touched in reaching out. This place has been a blessing during the darkest time in my lfe and the strangers who have helped voice and confront their feelings by reading my posts and responding ... It's a magic circle.

Thanksgiving week will be 6 months in the loss of my best friend/husband. My mother passed 9 days before him... I still have not grieved for her. I write on my personal blog and find it very helpful... almost like a cleasning. I have learned that life is not fair and I need to honor the dead by living the best life I know how. NOT EASY... but still processing it.

Black jelly beans last night, Fay... you did have me laughing at myself... not the best dinner I've ever prepared for myself but dang... I love those things. Will do better today.

Peace to you and all who come here.

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