Has Anyone Suffered Depression after treatments ended.
Ballerina
Comments
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I used to
feel that way.
I think once we've fought the good fight, put everything we have and some we didn't know we had, into fighting this beast, we feel a little let down. I was like "OK, where's my prize??? Shouldn't beating cancer rate at least a new computer??!" LOL! But deep down inside, I was really like "Ok, this is over. For now. All the doctors and nurses were totally watching my back. And now....now I just get a check up every six months? Is that all there is? Where's my back-up crew? Who's gonna watch my back now?"
For me, it was all about the fear. That's what I hated the most. So, I guess I'm saying your depression could stem from a lack of active fighting. It's hard to go from a daily fight to....just living your life. But it can be done. I also take an anti-depressant. It (and other life circumstances too complicated and whiney to go into here) has really helped. Sure, I still worry about cancer (I'm here, right?!) but it doesnt rule my life. In fact, I'm going for a diagnostic mammo on Friday (found a lump) and have already decided what happens, happens. If I have to fight again, I will. It is what it is. I am not afraid.
Don't feel alone. Concentrate more on what is than what might be. I use a little trick...if I have one good belly laugh a day, that day is counted as a good day.0 -
Ballerina, I am so sorry
Ballerina, I am so sorry that you are suffering. I experienced the same reaction to the end of treatment. In fact, about a month after the end of treatment I ended up in the hospital for a couple of days, I was so distraught. It took counseling, meditation, Yoga, prayer, friends, family, medication, and most importantly, time, to pull me through.
It's been three years since the end of treatment. I take Zoloft plus an Abilify to boost the Zoloft's effect. I think I'll go off the Abilify, soon. I actually feel pretty good most of the time, now.0 -
NORMAL....lynn1950 said:Ballerina, I am so sorry
Ballerina, I am so sorry that you are suffering. I experienced the same reaction to the end of treatment. In fact, about a month after the end of treatment I ended up in the hospital for a couple of days, I was so distraught. It took counseling, meditation, Yoga, prayer, friends, family, medication, and most importantly, time, to pull me through.
It's been three years since the end of treatment. I take Zoloft plus an Abilify to boost the Zoloft's effect. I think I'll go off the Abilify, soon. I actually feel pretty good most of the time, now.
What you're experiencing is pretty normal...so said my oncologist....Two years ago when I finished all treatment, I had a complete, sobbing, meltdown in my radiation oncologist's office...for 9 solid months I was in treatment and fighting for my life, daily...then all of a sudden, BOOM, it was over! Who was going to keep this cancer away from me, now? He explained that my feelings were perfectly normal....it was like being dropped cold turkey! It takes time, plenty of time to reclaim some sort of normalcy in your life....Most cancer centers offer what's called "Finding your new normal"....check and see if your place of treatment offers this or contact the American Cancer Society if you think this would help you....so, don't beat yourself up over these feeling...Seek medication for help if needed....what ever it talks to get you through the day and give yourself plenty of time...you're feelings are validated and they are real..
Wishing you the best...
Hugs, Nancy0 -
So familiar
I was in cancer treatment or post-treatment (medications) for 15 years straight. When I finally got the 'all clear' the last time in 2001, I said to myself. That's it! I am going to LIVE the rest of my life as if I had never had cancer (as much as possible). And that is what I have done. It was a choice which I could not make until the time was right for ME. Your day of choice will come too. And you will make the leap of faith into life and living again which will free you of the fear and dread of what the future might hold. In the menatime, use the drugs, counceling, or whatever works to help you cope, and NEVER NEVER let anyone tell you that you are weak. It is the strong ones who do what they have to do so they can do what they want to do.
God bless.0 -
It was the taxotere that
It was the taxotere that first took me to the deepest darkest murkiest depths and then the hormone blockers which I'm still on.....5 yrs are up June 2012. I have taken "breaks" from them and notice a difference so I'm blaming it on the lack of estrogen. But it's hard. It feels like I have no control over how I feel. Anti-depressants don't sit well with me so I am constantly counselling myself and monitering my thoughts so I don't spiral out of control. I hope the zoloft works for you, if not there are others.
hugs
jan0 -
totally relate to your postphoenixrising said:It was the taxotere that
It was the taxotere that first took me to the deepest darkest murkiest depths and then the hormone blockers which I'm still on.....5 yrs are up June 2012. I have taken "breaks" from them and notice a difference so I'm blaming it on the lack of estrogen. But it's hard. It feels like I have no control over how I feel. Anti-depressants don't sit well with me so I am constantly counselling myself and monitering my thoughts so I don't spiral out of control. I hope the zoloft works for you, if not there are others.
hugs
jan
From what I have experienced and read it is really normal to get depressed after treatment is over. We are so geared up to be "fighting" the disease and then we get to the end of active treatment it is like "now what?" I think a lot of emotions are suppressed when we are going through treatment since we get into a mode where we just need to survive on a day to day basis; everything happens so fast and you are on such a roller coaster that all you can do is hang on.
I;m one month out from finishing radiation and have been feeling really numb. Today I suddenly started crying in the middle of the grocery store for no reason; the feelings that have been in there are trying to come out, I guess.
I was clinically depressed after my surgery and am now on Effexor, which is often used in conjunction with Tamoxifen, which I am also on.
Wishing you the best,
Laura0 -
Ballerina I was a basket
Ballerina I was a basket case after treatment ended!! I would cry over everything!! Hubby and I went away for 2 nights and on the drive that song Honey came on and I was balling like an idiot. Good thing hubby was driving and didn't notice or I think I would have scared the daylights out of him!! When I was feeling this way I asked our sisters here about it and they all recommended either counseling or effexor. I chose effexor. My gyno said that it's a great medication for both the side effects of tamoxifen and depression associated with this horrid disease. I am on my third month of it and feeling a whole lot better! While I still have those occasional outbursts I'm not doing it all the time. I'm also not snapping as much as I was 3 months ago. So what you are feeling is normal. Hopefully the zoloft will help, if not ask about effexor. I'm having NO side effects from it at all. Good luck!
Angela0 -
Thank you allrobang13 said:Ballerina I was a basket
Ballerina I was a basket case after treatment ended!! I would cry over everything!! Hubby and I went away for 2 nights and on the drive that song Honey came on and I was balling like an idiot. Good thing hubby was driving and didn't notice or I think I would have scared the daylights out of him!! When I was feeling this way I asked our sisters here about it and they all recommended either counseling or effexor. I chose effexor. My gyno said that it's a great medication for both the side effects of tamoxifen and depression associated with this horrid disease. I am on my third month of it and feeling a whole lot better! While I still have those occasional outbursts I'm not doing it all the time. I'm also not snapping as much as I was 3 months ago. So what you are feeling is normal. Hopefully the zoloft will help, if not ask about effexor. I'm having NO side effects from it at all. Good luck!
Angela
Thank you all for letting me know I am not alone. This means so much to me and once again I am crying but not out of fear but out of the loving support I am receiving. I wish I could hug each and everyone of you. Thank you.
Ballerina0 -
I started Tamoxifen about aBallerina said:Thank you all
Thank you all for letting me know I am not alone. This means so much to me and once again I am crying but not out of fear but out of the loving support I am receiving. I wish I could hug each and everyone of you. Thank you.
Ballerina
I started Tamoxifen about a month after rads (Aug 2010), so a lot of my 'blues' I blamed on the meds. But I did feel like I hit a wall a few months after treatment. I asked my doctor if it were possible that I had PTSD? I still feel a little depressed because I don't feel well sometimes. I am on Effexor with the Tamoxifen. I do cry at the drop of a hat. And it's embarrassing when it happens at work. I've tried to warn everyone about it, and try to make a joke of it when it happens. But there have been days where I've had to shut the door to my office because I couldn't stop crying once I started. I feel like I'm losing my mind, some days.0 -
I know exactly what you mean.
I really felt lost, I didn't know what to do next and the 'what ifs' were bombarding me. Antidepressants can help, so will time. Are you on Arimidex of Tamoxifen? Others on those meds have suffered depression. Keep checking with you Dr and let us know how you are doing.
Sue0 -
Ballerina
I was told today by a psychologist that I am depressed. On a test she gave me a score of 10 was depression. I scored 21! Tuesday night I went to a local hospital to hear a survivor who wrote a book that is very humorous and I had tears streaming down my face and I cried all the way home. I guess I went trough bilateral mastectomy, chemo and rads and never dealt with how I was really feeling. I was on Wellbutrin from 2001 to 2010. I think I need to go on it again. It's one of the few that I didn't have side effects from.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
I am so sorry Ballerina thatlynn1950 said:Ballerina, I am so sorry
Ballerina, I am so sorry that you are suffering. I experienced the same reaction to the end of treatment. In fact, about a month after the end of treatment I ended up in the hospital for a couple of days, I was so distraught. It took counseling, meditation, Yoga, prayer, friends, family, medication, and most importantly, time, to pull me through.
It's been three years since the end of treatment. I take Zoloft plus an Abilify to boost the Zoloft's effect. I think I'll go off the Abilify, soon. I actually feel pretty good most of the time, now.
I am so sorry Ballerina that you are feeling this way. I have never been on antidepressants but many are. I do want to say that there are certain antidepressants that should not be taken with tamoxifen. Your oncologist can help you with this.
I pray that you get some help and feel better very soon.
Hugs, Lex0 -
Depression
You used the phrase "considered myself a strong person". A couple of points regarding this phrase. It is the "strong person" who is the most vulnerable to depression, because they have carried a heavy load in the first place. People usually depend on the "strong person" because they see them as confident. Keep in mind that it takes a "stong person" to go for help. I had been the "strong person" for years and when I went in to get some help in the form of medication it was a real awakening. When the doctor asked how I was I stated "really good but also pi$$ed too." He asked why. I asked "How long have I been messed up like this."
So even if you feel like you are the stong person do not hesitate to go in for medication if you think it will help. It may be just the thing you need to lift the fog of depression.0 -
@Ballerina
So sorry you are
@Ballerina
So sorry you are going through this...I did not have this due to BC but did go through same things about 8 yrs ago-i was down to 92 lbs-was on zoloft for about 2 yrs i think...as you know slowly go on and really slowly go off.
I also went to therapist as well..(Best thing I even did)
Thinking of you..
Denise0 -
I LOVE what you say herelaughs_a_lot said:Depression
You used the phrase "considered myself a strong person". A couple of points regarding this phrase. It is the "strong person" who is the most vulnerable to depression, because they have carried a heavy load in the first place. People usually depend on the "strong person" because they see them as confident. Keep in mind that it takes a "stong person" to go for help. I had been the "strong person" for years and when I went in to get some help in the form of medication it was a real awakening. When the doctor asked how I was I stated "really good but also pi$$ed too." He asked why. I asked "How long have I been messed up like this."
So even if you feel like you are the stong person do not hesitate to go in for medication if you think it will help. It may be just the thing you need to lift the fog of depression.
I LOVE what you say here "laughs a lot". I just told a friend I've been so strong and now all of a sudden I'm done with chemo and feel like I should be feeling great, and of course I'm not yet....and I too have had days of depression. I still have surgery ahead of me, so it's partly that I think. But after 3 years and 3 different cancers, this is the first time I've felt like I might need help. Not used to feeling that way. Kept thinking to myself I didn't even cry this time when they tol me I had breast cancer. But now I feel like crying. But I guess we can just expect to never feel the same and try to accept these things too.
What a ride!!0 -
I haven't seen you postSueRelays said:I LOVE what you say here
I LOVE what you say here "laughs a lot". I just told a friend I've been so strong and now all of a sudden I'm done with chemo and feel like I should be feeling great, and of course I'm not yet....and I too have had days of depression. I still have surgery ahead of me, so it's partly that I think. But after 3 years and 3 different cancers, this is the first time I've felt like I might need help. Not used to feeling that way. Kept thinking to myself I didn't even cry this time when they tol me I had breast cancer. But now I feel like crying. But I guess we can just expect to never feel the same and try to accept these things too.
What a ride!!
I haven't seen you post lately Sue and I had wondered how you are. If any of us ever feel like we need help, I hope that we all will ask our oncologist to help us, either by antidepressants, a therapist or whatever.
We all try to be so strong, but, sometimes we need some help.
Hugs to all of you,
Megan0 -
Don't feel embarrased!
By now, I think you probably know that others are feeling the same things as you. I, too am that strong person who fought during treatment and have been crumbling ever since. I was put on Arimidex and have suffered great pain/stiffness since Nov 2010. Even though I have sad times, I was determined as hell not to go on anti-depressants. After all, I fought bc and won as far as I was concerned, so how could I not beat this feeling of sadness? Well, I gave that fight up on Monday and went to the doc. She prescribed Cymbalta, 30mg/day for 3 weeks then if I tolerate it, take 60mg/day. She said that will help with the side effects of Arimidex and just help me feel better overall. Interestingly, I just read an article that the NIH did a study and they claim 50% of breast cancer patients suffer depression. If you're not happy with the Zoloft, maybe you can ask your doc to switch you to Cymbalta. Wishing you happier days ahead.....
Chris0 -
According to the folks who recently conducted a mini workshopmckevnic said:Don't feel embarrased!
By now, I think you probably know that others are feeling the same things as you. I, too am that strong person who fought during treatment and have been crumbling ever since. I was put on Arimidex and have suffered great pain/stiffness since Nov 2010. Even though I have sad times, I was determined as hell not to go on anti-depressants. After all, I fought bc and won as far as I was concerned, so how could I not beat this feeling of sadness? Well, I gave that fight up on Monday and went to the doc. She prescribed Cymbalta, 30mg/day for 3 weeks then if I tolerate it, take 60mg/day. She said that will help with the side effects of Arimidex and just help me feel better overall. Interestingly, I just read an article that the NIH did a study and they claim 50% of breast cancer patients suffer depression. If you're not happy with the Zoloft, maybe you can ask your doc to switch you to Cymbalta. Wishing you happier days ahead.....
Chris
for our support group this is VERY NORMAL! It's sort of like post-partum depression. It's all over, now what? You're also not seeing the docs as regularly as you were and those little niggling doubts creep in. It often happens again at the end of the 5 year hormone treatment. Anyone on this journey goes through a lot and a lot of emotions. Do what you need to do and make sure to keep your docs up to date.0 -
The pink sisters are alwaysBallerina said:Thank you all
Thank you all for letting me know I am not alone. This means so much to me and once again I am crying but not out of fear but out of the loving support I am receiving. I wish I could hug each and everyone of you. Thank you.
Ballerina
The pink sisters are always here for you Ballerina! I pray that you are feeling better.
Hugs,
Lex0
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