New diagnosis turning our world upside down
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fite2win
Member Posts: 1
On Aug 1st, my husband (53 yrs old) had a routine screening colonoscopy and was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer which has metastasized to his liver. He starts his 3rd round of chemo infusion tomorrow along with 14 days of xeloda pills (calls it his rat poison). His attitude is totally amazing and he is determined to fight this & win. Three different doctors have given us a prognosis of 6 mos to a year "or so."
So I'm on here to develop a community for those time when I just don't know who to talk to, vent or cry.
So I'm on here to develop a community for those time when I just don't know who to talk to, vent or cry.
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Comments
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sorry..
Gosh I am sorry to hear about your husband and his doctors giving him such a dire prognosis. How many mets does he have in his liver (spots?). There are many people who are surviving with liver mets. For example, I know one woman who was diagnosed about 10 years ago (at least) who has never been cancer free, and I'm sure there are some on this board who will chime in.
Don't give up hope and if you haven't already, I would get another opinion from a major cancer center such as MD Anderson, or another close to where you live. Anyway, hang in there. He can and should be determined to fight!
Good luck to you both,
Susan H.0 -
more time
Hi,
I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis, but glad to hear of his positive attitude. I must let you know that I was diagnosed in August 2007 with stage IV rectal cancer with mets in my liver and both lungs- what they called "innumerable nodules" in my lungs and 12 visible tumors in my liver. Here I am over 4 years later- still fighting- but still here. I think your husband's oncologist gave a pretty grim prognosis- one that most likely will not be accurate. I know of myself and many others on this board who have been living with stage IV cancer for many years- even a few who have since become NED (no evidence of disease- cancer free, for now, anyhow!)
Yes, people I've known on this board have died from it- the nature of the beast- but I choose to focus on those who have beaten it and who are still living and functioning even while in treatment.
When does your husband get scanned again? I was scanned after my first three treatments on Folfox and Avastin. I responded well- at that point only about half of the lung tumors were lighting up on the PET scan and my visible tumors in my liver went from 12 down to 3 in just 3 treatments. My oncologist was amazed. I had a liver resection in May 2008 in which I had 55% of my liver removed along with those three remaining tumors. I since have had a recurrence and so I'm on chemo at this time, but I still function fairly well. I plan on still being around for awhile! Just wanted to give you and your husband hope beyond the oncologist's ill prognosis. I wish doctors wouldn't do that! My oncologist told me he doesn't like giving prognosis' and only does so if the patient requests it. Even then, he said he clarifies it with "but no one knows for sure, everyone responds to treatment differently, and only God knows how long you will live." I like his attitude.
Take care and God bless-
Lisa0 -
I am so sorry about your
I am so sorry about your husband. Those first few weeks of finding out are scary and beyond sad. I am glad to hear he has a positive attitude about it, that is going to help him.
Please continue to let us know how he is doing, it might be a good idea for him to join us as well. I will keep him in my prayers.0 -
okchristinecarl said:I am so sorry about your
I am so sorry about your husband. Those first few weeks of finding out are scary and beyond sad. I am glad to hear he has a positive attitude about it, that is going to help him.
Please continue to let us know how he is doing, it might be a good idea for him to join us as well. I will keep him in my prayers.
Ok fite.....glad you are here....not glad that you have to be here but glad you have found us. I will be brief tonight and just say that I am stage 4 and was diagnosed with multiple mets to liver....said to be inoperable....given 6 months....
that was in 2006///////hello....one day at a time...still here....
breathe and welcome....you will find good folks here////
maggie0 -
Doctors! Argh!
Three "doctors" said that to him??? Who, Moe, Larry, and Curly?
I'm sorry and certainly mean no disrespect to your husband but it's disgusting that these "doctors" would say that to him or to anyone. Are they all from the same practice by any chance?
I'm VERY happy to hear your husband has such a good attitude, that will take him very far with this. I was diagnosed over 7 1/2 years ago with stage IV colon cancer and while I'm still living with cancer, I'm still living and doing very well. Thankfully I have yet to hear such BS from any of my doctors. They know that no one knows how you will do with treatments. If he's happy with his "doctors", then great. I hope he outlives all three of them!
-phil
I'd like to Report his doctors as Offensive...0 -
sorry to hear
So very sorry to hear your news. I am in the same place. My husband was also diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer in June this year a day before he turned 52. We were devastated but you will see on this board there are wonderful people living with stage 4 disease and they all have a wealth of information and are doing quite well. I'm glad your husband has a good attitude as that is very important. Praying for you both.0 -
philPhillieG said:Doctors! Argh!
Three "doctors" said that to him??? Who, Moe, Larry, and Curly?
I'm sorry and certainly mean no disrespect to your husband but it's disgusting that these "doctors" would say that to him or to anyone. Are they all from the same practice by any chance?
I'm VERY happy to hear your husband has such a good attitude, that will take him very far with this. I was diagnosed over 7 1/2 years ago with stage IV colon cancer and while I'm still living with cancer, I'm still living and doing very well. Thankfully I have yet to hear such BS from any of my doctors. They know that no one knows how you will do with treatments. If he's happy with his "doctors", then great. I hope he outlives all three of them!
-phil
I'd like to Report his doctors as Offensive...
LIKE!0 -
Magletsmaglets said:ok
Ok fite.....glad you are here....not glad that you have to be here but glad you have found us. I will be brief tonight and just say that I am stage 4 and was diagnosed with multiple mets to liver....said to be inoperable....given 6 months....
that was in 2006///////hello....one day at a time...still here....
breathe and welcome....you will find good folks here////
maggie
I love hearing your story.0 -
Great Attitude means a lot!
I was told the same thing as your husband in Jun 09. I dismissed what they told me and moved on with my life. Granted there are good days and not so good days during all this but when you have the good ones they are really special. Sounds like your husband has a good support group which really is a plus. Talk to you soon and keep us updated.
Jeff0 -
Diagnosed stage IV four years ago today
I too was given 6 mos to 2 years as a diagnosis. I was 48 yo. In addition to the tumor I had spots resected in both liver & lung, & a colostomy to boot. I truly believe my attitude made a huge difference in my recovery. I feel that doctors give people a standard prognosis because most people ask. It gives one a chance to do a will, etc. if not done. It's just a guideline. Nobody can be certain as everyone responds differently to treatment.
Take it one day at a time. It's amazing what your body can take & keep on ticking. Find humor in as much as you can because there really is a lot that is funny. Laughter really made me feel better throughout my whole body.0 -
Plenty of us
There are plenty of us that are state IV and were given "six months" and still hanging in there quite nicely. I was given 4 to 6 months with chemo, I'm currently NED (No Evidence of Disease) and am here 1 year and 8 months later, loving and living life as best I can.
I'm glad he is determined to win, I actually figured I was a goner, but did the chemo so I could have that 4 to 6 months to be with family.
Like your husband is doing, don't give up on hope, because we are constantly proving the oncologists wrong.
Glad to meet you, as others have said, we hate to see another person joining us due to this cancer, but glad you found us.
We're like a family, we love, we fight, we "kiss and make up", but most of all, we are HERE for each other, and we will be here for you and your husband.
The "Why us, why you" will be a part of your conversation for awhile, the tears will flow, fear will pay a visit, helplessness will try to take a front seat. Through all of that we will be here when you need us.
Questions about chemo, advise about controlling side effects, we're here, we have knowledge of it too well, what one person may not know, another will.
If you need a good cry and someone to listen, we're here. The sorrow, the anger, the helpless feelings you will have or have had, we've been there, we're there, we're here.
Just remember every morning, the days the sun is shining as you awaken, it's another day the sun has kissed your faces and welcomed the day to you... on the dark and rainy/snowy days, it's another moment that the day is saying to you, stay in bed a minute more, share a moment of closeness, it's a snuggle kind of moment, enjoy it, each day is another day to live and love life.
Our thoughts and best wishes are with you both.
Winter Marie0 -
I started this journey in
I started this journey in May with my husband and since have become quite addicted to this discussion board. My husband chooses not to seek information which is fine because he has me. When he wants to know he asks me and I give me just the information he is asking. This helps him stay positive so that we can live our lives. If I had one wish, I would wish him cured but since I don't I can only do that of which I have power. Keeping our lives running as normally as possible is my job. So far I'm not doing too bad but it is lonely. There is no one to talk to because they don't understand and those who care about us just want to do or say something to help when there is nothing. I guess that is why I am addicted to this board. It gives me hope and helps me to see that people are living their lives despite this disease. I love the weekend post as to what people are doing each weekend. These people are living. Good luck with your journey. I hope it is a long one. Lisa0 -
Never forgetbuckeye2 said:I started this journey in
I started this journey in May with my husband and since have become quite addicted to this discussion board. My husband chooses not to seek information which is fine because he has me. When he wants to know he asks me and I give me just the information he is asking. This helps him stay positive so that we can live our lives. If I had one wish, I would wish him cured but since I don't I can only do that of which I have power. Keeping our lives running as normally as possible is my job. So far I'm not doing too bad but it is lonely. There is no one to talk to because they don't understand and those who care about us just want to do or say something to help when there is nothing. I guess that is why I am addicted to this board. It gives me hope and helps me to see that people are living their lives despite this disease. I love the weekend post as to what people are doing each weekend. These people are living. Good luck with your journey. I hope it is a long one. Lisa
I will never forget those overwhelming first few months. I am so sorry to hear that is where you are. I was just numb...going through the motions of each day but not really "there". Crying as I looked at my daughters then just 10 and 12. I too was diagnosed Stage 4 at the age of 42.
But it is with hope that I tell you that it will be 4 years ago on October 11th since my diagnosis. Both the girls are now in high school and I am grateful that I am currently no evidence of disease.
If the doctors continue to be so negative about prognosis may I suggest you look elsewhere.
It is great that your husband has a positive attitude but getting the docs on board with that sure would help.
Wishing you hope and healing on this journey that none of us would chhose.
Dawn0 -
Was given a few month and still here 2,5 years later and doingdmdwins said:Never forget
I will never forget those overwhelming first few months. I am so sorry to hear that is where you are. I was just numb...going through the motions of each day but not really "there". Crying as I looked at my daughters then just 10 and 12. I too was diagnosed Stage 4 at the age of 42.
But it is with hope that I tell you that it will be 4 years ago on October 11th since my diagnosis. Both the girls are now in high school and I am grateful that I am currently no evidence of disease.
If the doctors continue to be so negative about prognosis may I suggest you look elsewhere.
It is great that your husband has a positive attitude but getting the docs on board with that sure would help.
Wishing you hope and healing on this journey that none of us would chhose.
Dawn
fairly well! don't pay attention to prognosis !
Hugs my friend!0 -
I'm fairly new here too and
I'm fairly new here too and have found some of the best support. These people get it. Some are survivors, some are still battling and some are loved ones of the one in this disease's clutch, and here's to it being a temporary clutch.
Cancer can be lonely and isolating and Boards like this one help break that spell.
And you don't have to Be Brave or Be Strong here....just Be.
Your friend in California0 -
Hi fite2win...
I am also new here. My husband, also 53, was diagnosed in June with Stage IV colon cancer with mets to the liver. He has done six weeks of radiation and 5 FU cont infusion. Now he is doing Folfox for the next 12 weeks. Surgery most likely in the future. While we know it will be a long road, that will not stop us from fighting every step of the way. Keep up with the positive, stay strong, and I have found this is an excellent place for loads of support!
Ellen C.0 -
I'm another Stage 4/9 mets
I'm another Stage 4/9 mets to liver surivor. I am 2.5 years post DX. No one in chicago would operate on me, so I went to NYC/Sloan Kettering, and here I am! Depite how gravely ill I was, how skeletal I became from dehydration and starvation and non-stop diarreah, I had great response to chemo, tumors shrunk and shrunk, and I then had a reason to fight....
This is a great source of information and support.
It is overwhelming trying to speak this new language of cancer, we can help
Peggy0 -
Am I Too Late to the Party?
Hi there
The others have said it all so well, so just welcome.
Stage IV now - 7.4 years out of diagnosis - had cancer 3x and beat it 3x - currently back to a watch and wait status. 51x chemo - 55x radiation - 3x stereotactic rads - 4 major surgeries and a host of other surgical procedures.
I've done a lot of them. Still work full time and am writing a book about the cancer experience that I hope to finish very soon with hopes of it being published one day.
Your husband is on the right track. I was given 12 mos. when cancer progressed to my liver in 2007...when I check the calendar I am seeing it say Oct 2011.
Fighting and fighting hard is the key - there will be moments of triumph and times of self doubt. You've got to be prepared for the long haul. I never figured to be fighting over 7 years, but then again, I never really thought I would make it for 7 years either.
Once again, welcome aboard!
-Craig0
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