I'm new here

Goldie1
Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
edited September 2011 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My 53 year old husband, Patrick, was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer with mets to the liver in June. I have found this site to be the most helpful and honest about all aspects of living with cancer and decided to join. It would be nice to talk to people and hear down-right truths instead of "he looks so good" today. When I first heard my husband had cancer, and after a good cry, I sort of froze. I was afraid to ask questions and really didn't want to know the answers to be honest. I have toughened up since then and now I am not scared off so easily. I am and will continue to be my husband's biggest ally, and I will try not to be so afraid of the unknown. Thank you for being here and I know now that there is support and a shoulder to cry on if ever needed.
Ellen
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Comments

  • ddpekks
    ddpekks Member Posts: 162
    You came to the right place...
    When I came here a couple of weeks ago I had no earthly idea how much I DIDN'T know. And, I thought I would really show my "stupid" if I asked questions, but not any more. I am totally amazed at how complex and complicated cancer is and at how many different ways it affects people. I'm no longer afraid to ask anything, because there are some smart people here that are more than willing to share.

    Welcome.....and, if you haven't, go visit the caregiver's. What wonderful things they have done for me by letting me know I'm not alone in this battle.

    D
  • keystone
    keystone Member Posts: 134
    I am also the spouse. My
    I am also the spouse. My husband was diagnosed in December of 2010 with stage III rectal. I was the same way, didn't really want to know the truth, I'm a little better now. There are such good and helpful people here. Really hate that you have to join us but you have found an excellent source of resources and people to lean on going through the same thing. Stephanie
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Welcome
    So sorry that you had to join us but glad that you found this site. You can ask away at any questions and someone will be here to help you. This is a scary journey and you only need to ask and we will be here. Hoping that your journey with husband is with us.

    Kim
  • tko683
    tko683 Member Posts: 264
    Agree, you came to the right place for information and support
    I am also the spouse here. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer in June of this year. He is now 52. He is currently getting chemotherapy, FOLFOX with Avastin. His next step is liver surgery after 2 more cycles of chemo. How is your husband doing? Sending prayers to you both. Teri
  • marqimark
    marqimark Member Posts: 242
    Welcome
    Welcome

    Sorry you had to search out this site


    Hugs

    mark
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122
    Ellen -
    I'm also the spouse..... I'm the spouse of the 'caregiver"!

    Things will be rough at times, since the only one actually facing
    death, is the only one that truly knows what that feeling is like.

    There will be times that nothing you say will be sufficient or
    comforting in any way, shape, or manner. And you may find
    that just a long, long hug and affection, is all that's needed to
    bring your spouse from the depths of hell, to a sense of life again.

    It's going to be a rocky road for you Ellen, but you can make it
    if you try. There are no guarantees of life, just guarantees of love,
    if and when you guarantee it.

    Live for the today, pray for the tomorrow, and be thankful for
    every yesterday.

    May be there many, many more "yesterdays".

    John
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428
    I am glad you decided to
    I am glad you decided to post. I think posting can be very intimidating. You don't know your audience and can't gauge their reaction to your words. It is easier to stalk the boards rather than participate but I think there is value to including yourself into the process. Getting to know the cast of characters and having them get to know you will give you a a sense of belonging during a lonely time. Lisa
  • alexinlv
    alexinlv Member Posts: 194
    My husband was just
    My husband was just diagnosed stage iv. He is 46 I stalked mostly while he was stage 3 but now I need this family more than ever. (like right now at 6am when i should be asleep and cant sleep!) I need to hear the truths too and everyone is so willing to support eachother. take care, Alex
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900
    welcome aboard the crc express
    dear ellen,
    sorry you had to find us, we are a lovedlly group from all over the world.
    cry away when you need to, you will have lots of lovelly moments ahead, try to share them with us.
    hugs,
    pete
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    ddpekks said:

    You came to the right place...
    When I came here a couple of weeks ago I had no earthly idea how much I DIDN'T know. And, I thought I would really show my "stupid" if I asked questions, but not any more. I am totally amazed at how complex and complicated cancer is and at how many different ways it affects people. I'm no longer afraid to ask anything, because there are some smart people here that are more than willing to share.

    Welcome.....and, if you haven't, go visit the caregiver's. What wonderful things they have done for me by letting me know I'm not alone in this battle.

    D

    YES...
    that is exactly how I felt...thanks for letting me know that no question is too stupid and that I just have to ask it no matter what! And from reading these boards, I have found so many people are willing to share and that is a huge help and comfort!

    Thanks for the warm welcome and give your choc lab a hug for me...we are a golden retriever family and the companionship of a warm, furry, friend, truly helps during this time too!

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    keystone said:

    I am also the spouse. My
    I am also the spouse. My husband was diagnosed in December of 2010 with stage III rectal. I was the same way, didn't really want to know the truth, I'm a little better now. There are such good and helpful people here. Really hate that you have to join us but you have found an excellent source of resources and people to lean on going through the same thing. Stephanie

    thank you
    I am so glad to know that I am not alone with these feelings I am having. I have already found new inspiration from these posts!

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member

    Welcome
    So sorry that you had to join us but glad that you found this site. You can ask away at any questions and someone will be here to help you. This is a scary journey and you only need to ask and we will be here. Hoping that your journey with husband is with us.

    Kim

    The docs tell us it's gonna be a battle
    but I will be sure to ask questions as the going gets tougher...thanks so much Kim!
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    tko683 said:

    Agree, you came to the right place for information and support
    I am also the spouse here. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer in June of this year. He is now 52. He is currently getting chemotherapy, FOLFOX with Avastin. His next step is liver surgery after 2 more cycles of chemo. How is your husband doing? Sending prayers to you both. Teri

    See surgeon again in Nov
    My husband has 5 more cycles of chemo and then the surgeon will let us know the next step. Totally in the dark about what kind of procedure will be done...I guess we will find out in time. My husband has good & bad days...hasn't been able to work because of pain (he has a stent)and radiation hit him hard, but he is hoping one day to be able to go back to work. Trying to figure out health insurance, Cobra, SSDI, which really stinks because time could be spent in such better ways.

    Thanks for you prayers Teri!
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    marqimark said:

    Welcome
    Welcome

    Sorry you had to search out this site


    Hugs

    mark

    Hugs...
    right back at you! Thanks for the welcome Mark!

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    John23 said:

    Ellen -
    I'm also the spouse..... I'm the spouse of the 'caregiver"!

    Things will be rough at times, since the only one actually facing
    death, is the only one that truly knows what that feeling is like.

    There will be times that nothing you say will be sufficient or
    comforting in any way, shape, or manner. And you may find
    that just a long, long hug and affection, is all that's needed to
    bring your spouse from the depths of hell, to a sense of life again.

    It's going to be a rocky road for you Ellen, but you can make it
    if you try. There are no guarantees of life, just guarantees of love,
    if and when you guarantee it.

    Live for the today, pray for the tomorrow, and be thankful for
    every yesterday.

    May be there many, many more "yesterdays".

    John

    Just when I thought...
    I had cried myself out...I read your post and here come the tears again. Thank you John, sometimes this is just what I need to hear. Bless you!

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    buckeye2 said:

    I am glad you decided to
    I am glad you decided to post. I think posting can be very intimidating. You don't know your audience and can't gauge their reaction to your words. It is easier to stalk the boards rather than participate but I think there is value to including yourself into the process. Getting to know the cast of characters and having them get to know you will give you a a sense of belonging during a lonely time. Lisa

    I must have stalked this board...
    for a month before I got the courage up to join. I have definitely learned much more than I ever expected. And to get such a warm welcome, was a relief and a blessing.

    Thank you Lisa!

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member
    alexinlv said:

    My husband was just
    My husband was just diagnosed stage iv. He is 46 I stalked mostly while he was stage 3 but now I need this family more than ever. (like right now at 6am when i should be asleep and cant sleep!) I need to hear the truths too and everyone is so willing to support eachother. take care, Alex

    Thank you...
    for all the support and knowing that when I am up in the middle of the night, I am not alone and have a place to turn. Please stay in touch and let me know how you husband is doing.

    Ellen C.
  • Goldie1
    Goldie1 Member Posts: 264 Member

    welcome aboard the crc express
    dear ellen,
    sorry you had to find us, we are a lovedlly group from all over the world.
    cry away when you need to, you will have lots of lovelly moments ahead, try to share them with us.
    hugs,
    pete

    Thank you Pete...
    I can't tell you and everyone else how uplifted these comments have made me feel today. It has helped immensely and I'm off to have a good day...and get my husband up and about!

    Ellen C.
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252
    Welcome
    I'm sorry you have a need for us, but so glad you found us and are ready to participate. A few things to remember: No question is a stupid question. You can vent here when you need to let it all out. None of us are medical professionals, and what we share is what we've learned from our own journeys. Overall this is a supportive group. Your husband's experiences may be similar to ours or not.

    It is safest to not get too heavy into politics or religion here, but stick to subjects closely tied to colorectal cancer - save yourself a lot of drama!
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    Hi
    Hi, Ellen!

    I'm glad you've joined us, although I wish with all my heart that you had no need (or any of us!). Hopefully we can help make the process a little easier.

    *hugs*
    Gail