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new at this...just wanting to share my feeling about my wonderfull wife

Posts: 4
Joined: Sep 2011

hello my name is jeff. my wife and i found out that she has breast cancer about a year ago after she retired from the airforce...she was in there for 24 years and after she retired she found a knott on her chest. So we then went to the hospital and they said it was nothen. so 6 weeks had past and she started to have pain and the knott was getting bigger. so then we went to the va and then they took samples of it.. then finnally we got the news and it was cancer. So they went in and removed some and come to find out there was another cancer just as bigger as the first one. so they desided to put a port in her so she could start chemo. She is on her forth chemo appointment and now she has a bad rash on her hands and her arms.. she gets tired alot and her eyes are watering alot. i just wish this pain she is haveing would just tramsfer to me so she wouldnt have to go through this any more..im scared and i dont really have no one to talk to. you know you really dont know how much you love somebody untill something like this happens. we really dont have alot of friends everybody except for one thinks this must be catchable.. i dont know they just dont ever come around anymore except for one of our good friend that comes over and checks on us.....so if there is anyone wants to talk and we can help one another out.thanks so much and god bless us all

ddpekks's picture
Posts: 162
Joined: Sep 2011

You have come to a good place. I discovered this board only a short time ago and find it very helpful. My heart goes out to you and your wife for the fight of your life.

I'm caregiver for a wonderful husband with colorectal cancer, who was diagnosed just a few days after my daughter, who lives 3 states away, was diagnosed with breast cancer. We had a very hard time dealing with this because I can't be there for her and she can't be here for us. But then we realized that we are there for each other. Yes, it's long distance, and some times our hearts are heavy because we can't touch each other, but we know that we are there.

Talking about it here has helped me so very much. There are people who understand and no one is judgmental. Just supportive. I find that sometimes it doesn't matter if anyone responds to my post, it just feels good to say it out loud (or write it out loud, as the case may be).

Come here often, say it often and rest assured, you have friends here who care.


jimwins's picture
Posts: 2111
Joined: Aug 2011

So sorry you have to be here. This is a good place for
support and to vent. You will also find very experienced
people who will share with you also or listen.

Please thank your wife for serving for us in the military
and that my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

I will soon finish my last cycle of chemo for lymphoma and
am doing very well so far. I've been very fortunate to be
able to take care of myself most of the time and have a sister
and brother-in-law nearby to provide assistance or just a place
where I go "crash" for a few days after treatment in the hospital.

I'm very thankful to be so lucky and want to offer you and your wife
encouragement. They have come a long way in cancer treatment and
there are many success stories here on this site - there is HOPE.

It's important that you have support as a caregiver - and you need
to take care of yourself too :). Don't be afraid to ask others for
help. You can ask about programs at the VA and talk with social
workers too - they may be able to connect you to support and services
in your area.

Just know you and your wife are not alone.

Big hairy (well not so hairy now) hugs,


palmyrafan's picture
Posts: 397
Joined: Mar 2011

I am a brain cancer patient and I really feel for the caregivers. I know how very hard my wonderful husband works to take care of me and still hold a full-time job. I take nothing for granted.

I also understand about your friends suddenly not being available. I get that a lot from my own extended family (parents and siblings) and it isn't easy. So we cherish the friends we do have. We are a tight-knit group and we have found that while I am the only one with cancer, that we all have our own crosses to bear and none of us is ever let off without issue.

This is a tough time for the two of you, but you sound like you both have things well in hand. You have discovered what is important in life and what isn't. Or as my husband and I like to remind each other, "don't sweat the small stuff". Life is too precious.

You ever want to chat, just come on back to the boards. There are many great people out here with lots of good advice, both medically and spiritually/emotionally. I've even been on at 4:00 a.m before and had people to talk to.

Take care and keep us posted.


Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

Go to the colorectal discussion board and read the recent post called Make These Thoughts Go Away. I think you will find strengths in the posts from both patients and caregivers. Lisa

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