just a thought

i have been where we all are time and time again my mother my uncle my mother in law and my daughter. have all been under my care at one time or another all for cancer. untill my daughter was dx with hodgkins i thought i was there to give end of life support. and because of my faith i figured i was the one chosen to do ths because i could handle it. then when my youngest daughter was dx i got mad and so mad i lost my faith for a minute and a half. so young and to be the mother of two young children how could this be. then i heard someone in a waiting room talking on the phone and she said. this is not my fight i am just a cheerleader. >> it struck home for me that in what ever way i can can give comfort and be a watch dog for care. in what ever way i can make the fight easier and in what ever way i can relief the fighter i will. there are times when i cry and can not stop there are times when i can't sleep there are times when i wish i had my life back. and there are times when i ask why me. but most of all i try to ask why not me. i am no one special and i am not bragging that i have any thing special to give or any ting like that. i just offer a way maybe to help cope. find what can support you in all the maddness of cancer. find what can make you a cheerleader for me it was that phone call i over heard and for me it was the relization that i do what i do because for me there is no other way. my daughter is a year out of treatment and is doing fine. not yet great but fine. my first survivor rah rah.