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Recurrance #2... Battle #3..... Pullin the Big Girl Panties On......

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Well..well...well....here I am again...back in the battle.

I was DX stage II or III (they weren't sure) back in March, 2009 but within a few months I was definately a stage IV. Boy oh Boy have I learned a lot since then.

Had immediate colon resection..healed..then started chemo. By that time, I had 4 liver mets and 15+ lung mets. Folfiri/Avastin knocked them all out and I was NED in 6 months. Enjoyed that vacation for about 6 months (although always on some type of Folfiri, whether full blown or maintenance) I then had my first recurrance with 2 mets...1 in each lung. Cyberknife knocked out 1 and more chemo knocked out the other. NED again. Enjoyed that vacation for about another 6 months. After 2.5 years...the Folfiri stopped working. It was a blessing really as my body had had enough poison. Diarrhea off and on (mostly on) for those years put a hurt on my guts. CEA starting rising and alas!...recurrance #2..with 2 mets to lungs again!

I seen the head of thoracic surgery at St. Louis Univ yesterday. Went over all my options. I have started on Vectibix....which is a drug on the lines of Avastin...a targeted therapy. I have opted out of any "new" chemo at this time. I have decided to go another path this round. The tumor in my left lung is about 2.5cm with 6.5 uptake and on an artery. My ONLY option there is Cyberknife. I go next week for biopsy and fuducial placement. The 2nd tumor is about 1.5cm with a 6 uptake. This one will be reevaluated when my CK is complete on the left. If it has grown...VATS.... stayed the same..RFA...or maybe the Vectibix will eat it up???? We will see.

I will be having my first TCM experience (can't thank you enough John23 for all your help on finding a suitable one) I will be meeting him next week and very excited to see what he has to offer.

I have been off all supplements (except D) since my C-Dif crap..lol..literally! Since I am not having immediate surgery I will be restarting those under the advice of a "new" ND.

My crib has been under construction for the past 6 weeks and it sucks to live out in my sunroom with no running water or toilet. Luckily I have a cabana poolside with a sink,toilet,shower...and thats right outside my sunroom door...but just not sanitary enough for food prep. It has cut my juicing out for the last month and I gotta tell ya... I miss that liquid energy!!!

I have been stage II, III, and now IV. I am just as concerned about my future being stage IV as I was when I first heard the words "CANCER" When they attached the word "terminal" to my DX.... it didn't even phase me..I mean... I have known my whole life I am terminal...we are ALL terminal..we were born that way... and only one person knows how we will be leaving this world and he ain't talkin. So...flip a coin.

I will try everything on the face of this earth if I think there is even a remote chance it will help me...that includes chemo, surgery, TCM, diet, supplements, juicing. I have tried all but the TCM to date. ALL have helped me in one way or another and some come with a higher cost...whether that cost be a side effect or an out of pocket expense.

I am so thankful to ALL of you on these boards. I was "cancer stupid" when I came here. I have gained the knowledge to fight my battles because of ALL of you. Thats why I love you all and you feel like family.

Jennie

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3356
Joined: Jan 2010

Sorry to hear that you are back in the big battle, but it sounds like you are ready to attack it with a vengance.

Like you I was 'cancer stupid' when I showed up here, but thanks to everyone and their willingness to share experiences I have learned a lot in a relatively short time.

Wishing you the best with upcoming doc visits and your efforts to beat this disease.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm sure you will win the battle again ! I'm praying for that!.

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

I wish you didn't have to fight this battle so hard. Your posts are always filled with humor and optimism. Your attitude is something to emulate. Keep fighting. I will pray for you. Lisa

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

Your an inspiration to us all, your in my prayers. Tom

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I don't know what to say....just that I am send good, healthy, strong vibes your way!!!

Hugs, Kathi

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Oh, Jennie, how I first remembering running into you on these boards, LOL:)

My life has never been quite the same since. I'm very sorry about your recurrence, when I got my 3rd recurrence, I know it reshaped my views on how I see cancer now and the power that recurrence has in our fights. One of the reasons I've always said that recurence is always where the real battle is fought - and why cancer is so tough to lick.

This hurts me that you've recurred and has put a damper on the plans that we had. If you and the girls still come down later in the month, give me a call and we'll get together while you're here.

Wishing you in advance much success with your latest endeavors, I hope they do the trick this time. I really do.

-Craig

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Jennie,you are in my prayers as always.Wish you the best.

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi Jennie...I am sorry to hear about your most recent cancer happenings. That stinks. But with that said I gotta tell you that I loved reading your note and the determination and energy you show with your words! Cheers and raising a glass to you girl!

gail

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi Jennie, I'm sorry to hear this news, but you've kicked it twice, so you can do it again girl. Dang disease...just kick its butt! Hugs (()) Cynthia

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

simply...........kick its *** !!!

love ya, buzz

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Jennie,

Sorry that you're fighting another battle, but sounds like you have a plan! Give it the one-two kick in the pants! I know what a big emotional toll it is to hear the word "recurrence"...("sigh")

Hugs to you, my dear. I know your determination- you will get through this and do some damage to that cancer!

Lisa :)

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Marie- thanks for well wishes. You are such a sweet person!
Pepe- always appreciate your prayers. Te Amo...
Lisa Buckeye- Thanks for your encouraging words
Tom- Great to see you and I appreciate those prayers!
Kathi- Hugs back and I am scooping up all them strong vibes..I need em!
Craiger- Yep.. I too remember our first encounters. Dude, we've come a long way! Thanks for always having my back!
Fightformylove- You are always there with well wishes and prayers...TY for that!
Gail- Good to see you too! Cheers to you too!
Cynthia- Thanks for cheering me on. It's a booster!
Buzz- Right back at ya partner! Luv ya back
Lisa42- We both seem to do a lot of "sighing"..whats up with that???? Damn cancer needs to GET GONE!! No wonder things are going so well with your support group at church.... you are so inspiring....HUGS!

I am so blessed to have found this board and you people. Thank you all
Jennie

2bhealed's picture
2bhealed
Posts: 2085
Joined: Dec 2001

Girl, you have all the arsenal (dang--there's that war lingo slipping in again) at your disposal.

And Chicago will be filled with laughter medicine.

So there!

peace, emily

RickMurtagh's picture
RickMurtagh
Posts: 586
Joined: Feb 2010

Jennie,
You have to beat it (cancer) down this time around too. I am glad you have such a good attitude and are willing to work hard to beat this thing with all the tools at your disposal. You are an inspiration.

Rick

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

I am sending out strong "killer vibes" for ya, girl!

You wrecked em once, you can do it again!!

luvmum
Posts: 457
Joined: Dec 2010

Dear Jennie,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have a recurrence. I can't tell you how much I hate it, so unpredictable. We don't know when will it go and when will it come.

I sincerely hope that you can beat it again this time!!!!

Keep up your good attitude!
Hugs to you,
Dora

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

what to say except i am in tears and i feel your pain.you have a great attitude and i know you can knock this one down too((((HUGS)))Godbless...johnnybegood

sasjourney
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

Jennie,

I admire your determination and strength. This cancer does not stand a chance against you so it might as well give up. I hope the cyberknife takes care of it once and for all.

Hugs,
Sara

thingy45's picture
thingy45
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

Jennie,
Attitude I believe is half the battle. You are so strong that this recurrance has no chance.
I send you my attitude and my stubborness and all the prayers I can think of.
Go Jennie Go,
Luv yeh,your Dutch friend in canada
Marjan

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Well girlfriend, it's a fight that isn't quite yet over, but one you will beat again.
Keep those big girl panties held up tight. It's sucks having to battle it again, but you will do it.
Standing beside you,
Winter Marie

rogina2336
Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

Love your spunk!!! Gooooo Jennie!! Hopes and Prayers. Kim

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4912
Joined: May 2005

I had very good success with Avastin to shrink tumors I had in my liver. I wonder if that could help with lung tumor that's on the artery PRIOR to CK? My tumor way back when was on my hepatic artery. It did the trick.
Best of luck with the cyber-knife. The tumors really seems to be manageable.

-p

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1729
Joined: Nov 2001

You like many others have copped a real beating this last year.I hope this time that the steps are all forward and none backwards. Hugs Ron.

karen40's picture
karen40
Posts: 211
Joined: Aug 2011

Jennie,
I'm sorry that you have to go through it again. That sucks!
Just wanted you to know that I'll be on the side lines rooting you on to the finish line.
You inspire me!
Karen

marqimark's picture
marqimark
Posts: 242
Joined: Jun 2011

Not fair that you have to deal with so much.
Wish I could give more than my prayers and good wishes.

Glad you are such a great fighter.

Hugs

mark

biz
Posts: 60
Joined: Jul 2011

I am so impressed and proud of you. I can't believe your unconquerable spirit. If I have a recurrance, I will remember your post and your courage. I pray for you with all my heart and thank you for your example. The world needs more people like you!

Love,
Biz

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Well, Jennie, darlin'

What a party girl you are, LOL!

I'm glad you've decided to keep the panties on for a change - you've always been so quick to whip 'em off with the slightest whim, since I've known you:)

LOL! LOL! LOL!

Just between friends:)

I'll see you at the end of the month.

-Craig

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

So sorry to hear that you are in the thick of this again. Too many of us know what that is like - no fun... But it sounds like you have a good plan in place, which is half the battle right there.

Just because you are pulling up your big girl panties doesn't mean you can't find sexy ones! Love your spirit and determination to fight the beast! Hugs!

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

wrapping you in a big hug! These lung mets are a drag!

all the best, Leslie

relaxoutdoors08
Posts: 520
Joined: May 2011

Jennie,
I too knew very little as I started my journey as well. You are an inspiration. My thoughts and prayers are there for good results with your "courages", "fighting" Cancer Attack Plan.
Prayers,
NB

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