Recurrance #2... Battle #3..... Pullin the Big Girl Panties On......

Well..well...well....here I am again...back in the battle.

I was DX stage II or III (they weren't sure) back in March, 2009 but within a few months I was definately a stage IV. Boy oh Boy have I learned a lot since then.

Had immediate colon resection..healed..then started chemo. By that time, I had 4 liver mets and 15+ lung mets. Folfiri/Avastin knocked them all out and I was NED in 6 months. Enjoyed that vacation for about 6 months (although always on some type of Folfiri, whether full blown or maintenance) I then had my first recurrance with 2 mets...1 in each lung. Cyberknife knocked out 1 and more chemo knocked out the other. NED again. Enjoyed that vacation for about another 6 months. After 2.5 years...the Folfiri stopped working. It was a blessing really as my body had had enough poison. Diarrhea off and on (mostly on) for those years put a hurt on my guts. CEA starting rising and alas!...recurrance #2..with 2 mets to lungs again!

I seen the head of thoracic surgery at St. Louis Univ yesterday. Went over all my options. I have started on Vectibix....which is a drug on the lines of Avastin...a targeted therapy. I have opted out of any "new" chemo at this time. I have decided to go another path this round. The tumor in my left lung is about 2.5cm with 6.5 uptake and on an artery. My ONLY option there is Cyberknife. I go next week for biopsy and fuducial placement. The 2nd tumor is about 1.5cm with a 6 uptake. This one will be reevaluated when my CK is complete on the left. If it has grown...VATS.... stayed the same..RFA...or maybe the Vectibix will eat it up???? We will see.

I will be having my first TCM experience (can't thank you enough John23 for all your help on finding a suitable one) I will be meeting him next week and very excited to see what he has to offer.

I have been off all supplements (except D) since my C-Dif crap..lol..literally! Since I am not having immediate surgery I will be restarting those under the advice of a "new" ND.

My crib has been under construction for the past 6 weeks and it sucks to live out in my sunroom with no running water or toilet. Luckily I have a cabana poolside with a sink,toilet,shower...and thats right outside my sunroom door...but just not sanitary enough for food prep. It has cut my juicing out for the last month and I gotta tell ya... I miss that liquid energy!!!

I have been stage II, III, and now IV. I am just as concerned about my future being stage IV as I was when I first heard the words "CANCER" When they attached the word "terminal" to my DX.... it didn't even phase me..I mean... I have known my whole life I am terminal...we are ALL terminal..we were born that way... and only one person knows how we will be leaving this world and he ain't talkin. So...flip a coin.

I will try everything on the face of this earth if I think there is even a remote chance it will help me...that includes chemo, surgery, TCM, diet, supplements, juicing. I have tried all but the TCM to date. ALL have helped me in one way or another and some come with a higher cost...whether that cost be a side effect or an out of pocket expense.

I am so thankful to ALL of you on these boards. I was "cancer stupid" when I came here. I have gained the knowledge to fight my battles because of ALL of you. Thats why I love you all and you feel like family.

Jennie
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Comments

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Dear Jennie
    Sorry to hear that you are back in the big battle, but it sounds like you are ready to attack it with a vengance.

    Like you I was 'cancer stupid' when I showed up here, but thanks to everyone and their willingness to share experiences I have learned a lot in a relatively short time.

    Wishing you the best with upcoming doc visits and your efforts to beat this disease.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331

    Dear Jennie
    Sorry to hear that you are back in the big battle, but it sounds like you are ready to attack it with a vengance.

    Like you I was 'cancer stupid' when I showed up here, but thanks to everyone and their willingness to share experiences I have learned a lot in a relatively short time.

    Wishing you the best with upcoming doc visits and your efforts to beat this disease.

    Hugs,

    Marie who loves kitties

    Thanks to you jennie!
    I'm sure you will win the battle again ! I'm praying for that!.
  • buckeye2
    buckeye2 Member Posts: 428
    I wish you didn't have to
    I wish you didn't have to fight this battle so hard. Your posts are always filled with humor and optimism. Your attitude is something to emulate. Keep fighting. I will pray for you. Lisa
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    I'm putting my arms around you, dearheart!
    I don't know what to say....just that I am send good, healthy, strong vibes your way!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • TMac52
    TMac52 Member Posts: 352
    buckeye2 said:

    I wish you didn't have to
    I wish you didn't have to fight this battle so hard. Your posts are always filled with humor and optimism. Your attitude is something to emulate. Keep fighting. I will pray for you. Lisa

    Sorry Jennie....
    Your an inspiration to us all, your in my prayers. Tom
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    :(
    Oh, Jennie, how I first remembering running into you on these boards, LOL:)

    My life has never been quite the same since. I'm very sorry about your recurrence, when I got my 3rd recurrence, I know it reshaped my views on how I see cancer now and the power that recurrence has in our fights. One of the reasons I've always said that recurence is always where the real battle is fought - and why cancer is so tough to lick.

    This hurts me that you've recurred and has put a damper on the plans that we had. If you and the girls still come down later in the month, give me a call and we'll get together while you're here.

    Wishing you in advance much success with your latest endeavors, I hope they do the trick this time. I really do.

    -Craig
  • Fight for my love
    Fight for my love Member Posts: 1,522
    Dear Jennie,you are in my
    Dear Jennie,you are in my prayers as always.Wish you the best.
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238
    Hi Jennie...I am sorry to
    Hi Jennie...I am sorry to hear about your most recent cancer happenings. That stinks. But with that said I gotta tell you that I loved reading your note and the determination and energy you show with your words! Cheers and raising a glass to you girl!

    gail
  • LivinginNH
    LivinginNH Member Posts: 1,456
    Hi Jennie, I'm sorry to hear

    Hi Jennie, I'm sorry to hear this news, but you've kicked it twice, so you can do it again girl. Dang disease...just kick its butt! Hugs (()) Cynthia
  • Buzzard
    Buzzard Member Posts: 3,043 Member

    Hi Jennie, I'm sorry to hear

    Hi Jennie, I'm sorry to hear this news, but you've kicked it twice, so you can do it again girl. Dang disease...just kick its butt! Hugs (()) Cynthia

    Jennie.........
    simply...........kick its **** !!!


    love ya, buzz
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    hugs
    Hi Jennie,

    Sorry that you're fighting another battle, but sounds like you have a plan! Give it the one-two kick in the pants! I know what a big emotional toll it is to hear the word "recurrence"...("sigh")

    Hugs to you, my dear. I know your determination- you will get through this and do some damage to that cancer!

    Lisa :)
  • idlehunters
    idlehunters Member Posts: 1,787
    lisa42 said:

    hugs
    Hi Jennie,

    Sorry that you're fighting another battle, but sounds like you have a plan! Give it the one-two kick in the pants! I know what a big emotional toll it is to hear the word "recurrence"...("sigh")

    Hugs to you, my dear. I know your determination- you will get through this and do some damage to that cancer!

    Lisa :)

    AWE!!!.. Thanks you guys!!!!....
    Marie- thanks for well wishes. You are such a sweet person!
    Pepe- always appreciate your prayers. Te Amo...
    Lisa Buckeye- Thanks for your encouraging words
    Tom- Great to see you and I appreciate those prayers!
    Kathi- Hugs back and I am scooping up all them strong vibes..I need em!
    Craiger- Yep.. I too remember our first encounters. Dude, we've come a long way! Thanks for always having my back!
    Fightformylove- You are always there with well wishes and prayers...TY for that!
    Gail- Good to see you too! Cheers to you too!
    Cynthia- Thanks for cheering me on. It's a booster!
    Buzz- Right back at ya partner! Luv ya back
    Lisa42- We both seem to do a lot of "sighing"..whats up with that???? Damn cancer needs to GET GONE!! No wonder things are going so well with your support group at church.... you are so inspiring....HUGS!

    I am so blessed to have found this board and you people. Thank you all
    Jennie
  • RickMurtagh
    RickMurtagh Member Posts: 586
    Ouch
    Jennie,
    You have to beat it (cancer) down this time around too. I am glad you have such a good attitude and are willing to work hard to beat this thing with all the tools at your disposal. You are an inspiration.

    Rick
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946
    Jennie...
    I am sending out strong "killer vibes" for ya, girl!

    You wrecked em once, you can do it again!!
  • luvmum
    luvmum Member Posts: 457
    Beat it!
    Dear Jennie,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you have a recurrence. I can't tell you how much I hate it, so unpredictable. We don't know when will it go and when will it come.

    I sincerely hope that you can beat it again this time!!!!

    Keep up your good attitude!
    Hugs to you,
    Dora
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064

    AWE!!!.. Thanks you guys!!!!....
    Marie- thanks for well wishes. You are such a sweet person!
    Pepe- always appreciate your prayers. Te Amo...
    Lisa Buckeye- Thanks for your encouraging words
    Tom- Great to see you and I appreciate those prayers!
    Kathi- Hugs back and I am scooping up all them strong vibes..I need em!
    Craiger- Yep.. I too remember our first encounters. Dude, we've come a long way! Thanks for always having my back!
    Fightformylove- You are always there with well wishes and prayers...TY for that!
    Gail- Good to see you too! Cheers to you too!
    Cynthia- Thanks for cheering me on. It's a booster!
    Buzz- Right back at ya partner! Luv ya back
    Lisa42- We both seem to do a lot of "sighing"..whats up with that???? Damn cancer needs to GET GONE!! No wonder things are going so well with your support group at church.... you are so inspiring....HUGS!

    I am so blessed to have found this board and you people. Thank you all
    Jennie

    Pull on the panties and wave your freak flag!!
    Girl, you have all the arsenal (dang--there's that war lingo slipping in again) at your disposal.

    And Chicago will be filled with laughter medicine.

    So there!

    peace, emily
  • johnnybegood
    johnnybegood Member Posts: 1,117
    luvmum said:

    Beat it!
    Dear Jennie,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you have a recurrence. I can't tell you how much I hate it, so unpredictable. We don't know when will it go and when will it come.

    I sincerely hope that you can beat it again this time!!!!

    Keep up your good attitude!
    Hugs to you,
    Dora

    dont know
    what to say except i am in tears and i feel your pain.you have a great attitude and i know you can knock this one down too((((HUGS)))Godbless...johnnybegood
  • sasjourney
    sasjourney Member Posts: 395
    You Go Girl!
    Jennie,

    I admire your determination and strength. This cancer does not stand a chance against you so it might as well give up. I hope the cyberknife takes care of it once and for all.

    Hugs,
    Sara
  • thingy45
    thingy45 Member Posts: 632

    You Go Girl!
    Jennie,

    I admire your determination and strength. This cancer does not stand a chance against you so it might as well give up. I hope the cyberknife takes care of it once and for all.

    Hugs,
    Sara

    Jennie,
    Attitude I believe

    Jennie,
    Attitude I believe is half the battle. You are so strong that this recurrance has no chance.
    I send you my attitude and my stubborness and all the prayers I can think of.
    Go Jennie Go,
    Luv yeh,your Dutch friend in canada
    Marjan
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624
    Jennie
    Well girlfriend, it's a fight that isn't quite yet over, but one you will beat again.
    Keep those big girl panties held up tight. It's sucks having to battle it again, but you will do it.
    Standing beside you,
    Winter Marie