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Healing & Reeling

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2011

Wow, I am doing well physically following a crazy whirlwind in the past 3 months since first seeing blood in my urine, then clots, diagnosis of renal cell carcinoma in my left kidney, then having 12- 15 kidney stones poring out of that same kidney the week prior to scheduled surgery, removal of my kidney (larger then a football) and the pathology report said it was contained (which I am very thankful for!!) but my emotions are all over the place!! My supports all go right to how thankful I should be so I feel so crazy with my emotions! I am crying a lot ( when no one is around!) and still can't believe this is all real! I know it is real........ Scars prove it...... Just the angst! Looking for a forum where I can 'talk' to others who might 'get it'. Thanks so much for reading this and taking time to give the gift of your wisdom and thoughts. :0)

Posts: 18
Joined: Apr 2009

Sorry you have to be here. You will find a wealth of information from folks who post here.Lots of experiences.
Yep, it's a wirl wind of emotions, I suspect the same for everyone, I know it was and sometime still is fore me 2.5 years later. But the emotions should settle down for you in a while and you'll be able to get your arms around this. Sometime down the road you may even feel thankful it was only contained in one kidney. There are days that go buy and I completely forget about cancer and my missing kidney, then there are days I don't forget it.

Posts: 23
Joined: Jul 2011

Hi Bterb,

I hope your day is a little easier today. You have been through so much and the emotion of all you have experienced has to have it's chance to come to the surface. It has been just over 12 months since my operation and the emotion still gets to me. In all honesty, I think the first 6 months was about recovery, then shock kicked in because everything happened so quickly at the time. Most days now I am fine. I get nervous before my checkups like everyone else. Most days now Kidney cancer is not the first and foremost thing on mind and I am grateful for that because others are fighting so much harder.

I still think knowledge has been my biggest aid, and that has come from this forum. Its given me confidence to ask questions and be my own advocate. With knowledge I feel I have gained a little control back.

There are so many well informed, caring, thoughtful people in this forum. Sometimes I feel better just by logging on and reading comments knowing others are there, and they are understanding.

I hope you feel like you have support and I hope the emotional roller coaster eases off a little for you soon.

Be kind to yourself and go gently. Post whenever you need to. You are not alone.

My thoughts are with you, take care.


Kwilliams630's picture
Posts: 10
Joined: Aug 2011

Just wanted to say thank you for all of these comments, like everyone else i'm going through the same thing and it helps so very much to hear how it gets easier. It keeps my spirits up!! i had surgery on August 10th so i'm still recovering. I found this website today and it already helps so much. So thanks again! i have found with people telling me to to "be strong, be strong" that while that is good advice and strength is important, i also feel its ok to let your emotions go. So i cry when i need to, laugh every chance i get and try to remember just how very blessed i am! the roller coaster is difficult i know. I have 2 small children and i have to keep my tears in check while they are around. I am strong for them and strong for myself, i just have to sneak off to another room when i feel the flood coming on! Lean on the people around you and find support any where you can. I hope your roller coaster finds a straighter path soon my friend...

Posts: 4
Joined: Aug 2011

It has been ten weeks since surgery. For most of the first weeks the emotions were intense, considering the circumstances if they were not I would be worried. It does calm down as the healing goes on.

You are just a little ways from the surgery and already found this site. Good for all of us. Small children take a lot from a person I hope you have lots of help there. When we get through the whirlwind this roller coaster ride will be a source of strength. Thank you for your comments. Right now I am sliding down the tracks and reading this thread has helped, which is amazing all by itself.

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