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29 year old wife caring for 30 yr old husband with stage 4 colon cancer

Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2011

Anyone else in their late twenties or early thirties and caring for an equally young spouse or partner with stage 4 cancer? Looking for people in my same boat to chat with about coping with this disease and all the crap it brings you. My husband just started his first 6 mo Folfox chemo regimen on 8/12/11.

Posts: 39
Joined: May 2011

I'm 31...my husband is much older, but I do know what you are going through. Up until less than a year ago, my husband could outwork most men half his age. Now, walking to the bathroom is cause for celebration. It's hard. It's really hard. Faith helps. Hope helps. Friends are miracles.

Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2011

Friends are a huge help. Cancer definitely let's you know who your real friends are, and some surprise help from people you wouldn't expect. We've only been dealing with this for a little while, but the burden is huge. It changes your whole world.

Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

Try the colon cancer board.

mswijiknyc's picture
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

I was 29 (now 30) when my husband was dx'ed. He was 39, then turned 40 in Feb 2011. I'll offer whatever I can.

Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2011

Thanks. :)

Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2011

Was he diagnosed with colon cancer? What stage? Is he still in treatment?

Posts: 38
Joined: May 2011

i'm a little older but have been caring for my partner for 7 years now. she started her battle at a stage 3 had a 5 year remission and is now stage 4 with mets to lungs and bones. she has had lots of chemo regimens and is currently on xeloda and oxciliplatin. i would be happy to answer any questions you have. god bless you and your husband.

Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2011

My wife has colon cancer for over 6 years with remission for about 2 years then went to the lungs (they took much of her right lung) and an infection the inside her body but outside the lung. They had to slice her open and scrap it clean. Then they did a braky treatment(not sure of spelling)of radiation so she could breath and get off the oxygen machine. Now she is in chemo again and get these shot that cost $6000.00 each for the bone and she still needs radiation for the pain in her bones. And nobody can say how long it will last and you know it won't get any better.

Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2011

We just got the diagnosis last week that my husband has stage 4 colon cancer, it has metastisized to his lungs. We have two young daughters. He starts chemo this Friday and I guess I want to know what to expect. I guess we're in the same boat.

NayPaul's picture
Posts: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

She just turned 40 when diagnosed. So we are a little older. However, we also have four children aged 12,10,8,6.... so I can appreciated what you are going through. Will help however.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

My husband fought colon cancer for 6 years. He was stage 4 with mets to the liver when originally dx. I am older that both of you but have some experience with caregiving and colon cancer if you want to PM me. Doug lost his fight, but many are surviving and for longer times. hang in there and don't forget to take care of yourselves, too. Fay

Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

I am in your shoes but not in your age range. I am 50 and my husband will be 52 on Tuesday. We have 3 daughters, 19, 16, and 13. We started this journey in May. He has been on Folfuri every other week since. I am praying surgery is in his future. The emotional roller coaster has been tough for both of us. Your young age will change the journey for you. Hopefully it will assist his ability to fight this awful disease. If you have young children, it will complicate the amount of time you will be able to dedicate solely to caregiving. I think that because he is going to be so consumed with his own emotions and physical issues, that it will be important for you to consider some practical issues like finances. How much sick leave is there and should you be applying for disability so there is minimal gap between the end of sick leave and payment of disability? He may see this as confirmation he is never going back to work but it is only a practical means for covering your financial needs in the interim. Is your will in order? Getting it in order doesnt mean you will need it but is just wise even if he wasnt sick. You should not have to be this strong at this age but you do so there are no other options than putting on your big girl panties. I wish you only good things so that you can be the voice of wisdom for the next young lady who is forced to travel this journey. Lisa

Posts: 7
Joined: Jul 2012

We are also young, my husband has FAP, and had a colectomy 15 years ago. 25 years ago he had neuroendocarcinoma in his nose plus radiation. In the time we have been together he's had meningitis, pancreatitis, multiple bouts of dehydration with kidney injuries, and now he is maybe needing a whipple and gastrectomy.

Our children are 14, 11, and 3. What we are dealing with is is different, and yet on so many levels the same.

I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

Posts: 31
Joined: Aug 2011

I hate that these message boards don't alert you when someone replies. If you're going through similar circumstances and want to connect, reply to me on this site, and I'll see the reply. My username is the same for colon club.


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