So confused......what the h*** just happened to me???????
but I feel guilty because 'they got it all'. Really? I had two different kinds of cancer in one breast. I still have a tube...my breast is gone...I 'should be ready to go to work next Monday'....and I'm sitting here alone going 'WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED TO ME????"
....I'm adding this at 5:30 pm same day I wrote the above. What I neglected to enter is that six weeks ago I was minding my own business, taking a shower, and found a lump in my left breast. I put off calling my doc a couple of days because I just 'knew' what it was...and I was right. I ended up with both invasive and non-invasive cancer in the same breast. Six weeks. s i x w e e k s Life...right now I am NOT amused. Can you slow down a bit? Process? Let me find some humor? That's how I cope..humor..but there's been so little time to find it.
Comments
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Don't feel guilty
If they "got it all" that's great. The treatment that your oncologist will propose will be for those tiny little cancer cells that the surgeon couldn't see but might be floating around in your body somewhere. Just take someone with you to the appt if you can and be sure to take notes. Write down all the questions you have for the oncologist before you go and make sure you get answers. I went back to work 2 weeks after mast. but was running back and forth to surgeon for a while, and then started chemo within 3 weeks.
You will be so glad to get that drain out, it will make you feel better.
AND after this roller coaster ride, anybody would be saying WTH!!!
Jennifer0 -
Oh Minka,
Really? I guess he has never been diagnosed with bc, a mastectomy, a tube coming out of his chest. I guess that is why he is a surgeon. I am sure that your oncologist will have a much more compassionate approach! I am so sorry that your surgeon is missing any kind of sensitivity chip!
Be sure that you do not go back to work until YOU are ready, and only you know when that will be. You have been given a life changing diagnosis, lost part of your anatomy, and don't even know yet what the treatment plan will be!
I am sorry but I had to laugh when I read the surgeons comment that you will be ready to go back to work in a week? Wouldn't it be nice if you could agree and pass all the emotional, physical and mental garbage to him to deal with while you went to work?????
Keep a sense of humor, I know it has helped me while going trough all of this sh*t! That and the wonderful Pink Sisters on this board!
Keep us up to date on your oncologist appointment!
Prayers,
~Carol0 -
DOn't feel guilty!camul said:Oh Minka,
Really? I guess he has never been diagnosed with bc, a mastectomy, a tube coming out of his chest. I guess that is why he is a surgeon. I am sure that your oncologist will have a much more compassionate approach! I am so sorry that your surgeon is missing any kind of sensitivity chip!
Be sure that you do not go back to work until YOU are ready, and only you know when that will be. You have been given a life changing diagnosis, lost part of your anatomy, and don't even know yet what the treatment plan will be!
I am sorry but I had to laugh when I read the surgeons comment that you will be ready to go back to work in a week? Wouldn't it be nice if you could agree and pass all the emotional, physical and mental garbage to him to deal with while you went to work?????
Keep a sense of humor, I know it has helped me while going trough all of this sh*t! That and the wonderful Pink Sisters on this board!
Keep us up to date on your oncologist appointment!
Prayers,
~Carol
I had chemo, then surgery and the surgeon said things looked great - clean margins, nothing on the chest wall, etc. Next thing I knew I was scheduled for radiaiton, 33 treatments to be exact, even though the PET scan was clear. It was considered "insurance" to catch any stray little cells that might be hiding in those pesky lymph nodes. It was a pain but it was worth it.
And don't let anyone tell you when you're ready to go back to work! You're body has been invaded and you're the only one who knows how you truely feel. Stick to your guns. And fight like a girl!0 -
I remember the shock of
I remember the shock of those days. There is definitely a grieving process and lots of feelings. I am so sorry that you are going through this and praying that it begins to get better now.0 -
Minka
life either seems to come to a screeching halt or move too quickly when told one has cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy and if my memory serves me right I was told they got it all. But then the onc said 6 rounds of chemo and the rads onc said 28 radiation treatments. Now, I'm taking Arimidex for the next 5 years, BUT, they got it all.... Hang in there and take time to adjust. Our bodies and life as we knew it will not be the same. We develop a new "normal".
{{hugs}} Char0 -
It really is life-changingcahjah75 said:Minka
life either seems to come to a screeching halt or move too quickly when told one has cancer. I had a bilateral mastectomy and if my memory serves me right I was told they got it all. But then the onc said 6 rounds of chemo and the rads onc said 28 radiation treatments. Now, I'm taking Arimidex for the next 5 years, BUT, they got it all.... Hang in there and take time to adjust. Our bodies and life as we knew it will not be the same. We develop a new "normal".
{{hugs}} Char
I am 18 months post diagnosis and I know things will never be the same. Initially, it is so overwhelming. There are so many emotions and physical things to deal with--things you maybe never thought you would have to or ever could. But, you will and you will do great. Take your time and don't let anyone tell you how to feel. This is your journey and you have to do it your way.
Sending tons of positive energy to you.
Hugs, Renee0 -
I am so sorry Minka. I amCypressCynthia said:I remember the shock of
I remember the shock of those days. There is definitely a grieving process and lots of feelings. I am so sorry that you are going through this and praying that it begins to get better now.
I am so sorry Minka. I am sending you cyber hugs in the hopes they might comfort you somewhat.
Hugs, Lex0 -
I walked into walls for 3 weeks .. I did notmissrenee said:It really is life-changing
I am 18 months post diagnosis and I know things will never be the same. Initially, it is so overwhelming. There are so many emotions and physical things to deal with--things you maybe never thought you would have to or ever could. But, you will and you will do great. Take your time and don't let anyone tell you how to feel. This is your journey and you have to do it your way.
Sending tons of positive energy to you.
Hugs, Renee
comprehensive conversation with family members, Doctors and Specialist. I felt I was walking in fog -- without a road, sidewalk or any visible or familiar sights to offer comfort or reassurance.
Just when I thought I gathering my footing, another topic of concern would come up -- another opinion was offer by yet another Specialist == family members, friends and professionals offer support -- and options for me .. which in the beginning of my journey, was overwhelming.
Often here on our site, many WARRIORS - Sisters in PINK, mention that their personal breast cancer journey is very much like a roller coaster. Many ups, and many downs.
Please hang in .. journal emotions, feelings .. side efforts, sleep patterns -- and converse with your Oncologist and/or Surgeon.
You are not alone, we all share a common goal of 'health, happiness, and longevity'.
Come here and post anytime, we are here to cheer you on and support you, 24/7.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
I walked into walls for 3 weeks .. I did notmissrenee said:It really is life-changing
I am 18 months post diagnosis and I know things will never be the same. Initially, it is so overwhelming. There are so many emotions and physical things to deal with--things you maybe never thought you would have to or ever could. But, you will and you will do great. Take your time and don't let anyone tell you how to feel. This is your journey and you have to do it your way.
Sending tons of positive energy to you.
Hugs, Renee
comprehensive conversation with family members, Doctors and Specialist. I felt I was walking in fog -- without a road, sidewalk or any visible or familiar sights to offer comfort or reassurance.
Just when I thought I gathering my footing, another topic of concern would come up -- another opinion was offer by yet another Specialist == family members, friends and professionals offer support -- and options for me .. which in the beginning of my journey, was overwhelming.
Often here on our site, many WARRIORS - Sisters in PINK, mention that their personal breast cancer journey is very much like a roller coaster. Many ups, and many downs.
Please hang in .. journal emotions, feelings .. side efforts, sleep patterns -- and converse with your Oncologist and/or Surgeon.
You are not alone, we all share a common goal of 'health, happiness, and longevity'.
Come here and post anytime, we are here to cheer you on and support you, 24/7.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
All too fast.
Yeah it is all so confusing. I did not ask for more than one opionion because I had a very aggressive cancer and I wanted to get on with the treatment instead of muddy the water any more.
The only humor I came up with was to tell the grand kids that the doctor thinks he got all the cancer. However just like run away teenagers some of those sneaky cells might get out and travel all over the body. So they have to give me some poison to kill the runaway cells before they have a party and more cancer cells. I told them the poison they would give me was so scary that my hair would run away to escape it. They were laughing and rolling around in the back seat of the car when I told them this. They were 9 year old twins. Simple explanation on a serious subject with humor for them.0 -
Just keeps on coming, doesn't it?
I finally got some balls and called my PCP yesterday afternoon after an entire day of crying. She got me back on some pain pills, showed me how to clean my tube site (no one at surgery had done this and it was getting red and hurt), increased my antidepressant and told me NO NEOSPORIN on the would site as it causes negative reactions in many people. I'd been using it several times a day..again, surgeon never mentioned it. My first post-op oncology appt is this afternoon, and I know I'm not 'done'. I had both invasive and non-invasive cancer in the same breast and I'm sure there'll be post-op stuff to come.0 -
So glad you have some painMinka said:Just keeps on coming, doesn't it?
I finally got some balls and called my PCP yesterday afternoon after an entire day of crying. She got me back on some pain pills, showed me how to clean my tube site (no one at surgery had done this and it was getting red and hurt), increased my antidepressant and told me NO NEOSPORIN on the would site as it causes negative reactions in many people. I'd been using it several times a day..again, surgeon never mentioned it. My first post-op oncology appt is this afternoon, and I know I'm not 'done'. I had both invasive and non-invasive cancer in the same breast and I'm sure there'll be post-op stuff to come.
So glad you have some pain pills now Minka. I am praying that your oncology appointment will have some good news for you.
Hugs,
Lex0 -
Laughing does help!
Ok, I was told you can't drive till the tube comes out. How the doctor thinks you can go back to work after 2 and a half weeks is beyond me.
Don't feel guilty because they got it all! Feel awesome! You still may have some treatment coming. Wait to see what the MO says before planning your return to work.
This is a crazy ride. If your head is still spinning that is normal. It has been 10 months for me and I still am amazed at times all that has happened this past year.
Some thing funny? I stopped by work a couple weeks ago to say hi. I was chatting with a co-worker and casually asked if my fake boobs looked funny or lopsided. She said she hadn't even noticed. Then she got all embarrassed because she couldn't stop looking since I had said something. We both started laughing like crazy. I had to leave so she could get her composure back and get back to work.
There are so many other times I find humor in this crazy situation. You will too.
Cindy0 -
I think we all said that.grams2jc said:Don't feel guilty
If they "got it all" that's great. The treatment that your oncologist will propose will be for those tiny little cancer cells that the surgeon couldn't see but might be floating around in your body somewhere. Just take someone with you to the appt if you can and be sure to take notes. Write down all the questions you have for the oncologist before you go and make sure you get answers. I went back to work 2 weeks after mast. but was running back and forth to surgeon for a while, and then started chemo within 3 weeks.
You will be so glad to get that drain out, it will make you feel better.
AND after this roller coaster ride, anybody would be saying WTH!!!
Jennifer
I think we all said that. This is a horrible ride that we are on and sometimes it seems to never stop. I will be praying for you.
Hugs, Debby0 -
Know somewhat of how you are feelingMinka said:Just keeps on coming, doesn't it?
I finally got some balls and called my PCP yesterday afternoon after an entire day of crying. She got me back on some pain pills, showed me how to clean my tube site (no one at surgery had done this and it was getting red and hurt), increased my antidepressant and told me NO NEOSPORIN on the would site as it causes negative reactions in many people. I'd been using it several times a day..again, surgeon never mentioned it. My first post-op oncology appt is this afternoon, and I know I'm not 'done'. I had both invasive and non-invasive cancer in the same breast and I'm sure there'll be post-op stuff to come.
Sounds like you may have had a surgery and BS like I did. I ended up in the ER two days later because my drain had some blot clots at the end inseted into my lumpectomy site and blood was everywhere. It ended up being nothing bad, but if they had said to change bandage do this and do that we would have. My Husband had been tending to the drain and doing a great job. When I had my chemo port put in on June 23rd i told my ONC NO WAy wouuld I use the Breast Surgeon I had used before. Sounds like you have a good PCP, hang in there, I go for my 3rd chemo tomorrow I am taking AC. So far it has went ok, I have about 5 or 6 days I really feel bad, just stay home and take care of myself on those days and then go back to work partime until the next Chemo. Hugs0 -
For some reason they just forget to tell you stuff when theymamolady said:Laughing does help!
Ok, I was told you can't drive till the tube comes out. How the doctor thinks you can go back to work after 2 and a half weeks is beyond me.
Don't feel guilty because they got it all! Feel awesome! You still may have some treatment coming. Wait to see what the MO says before planning your return to work.
This is a crazy ride. If your head is still spinning that is normal. It has been 10 months for me and I still am amazed at times all that has happened this past year.
Some thing funny? I stopped by work a couple weeks ago to say hi. I was chatting with a co-worker and casually asked if my fake boobs looked funny or lopsided. She said she hadn't even noticed. Then she got all embarrassed because she couldn't stop looking since I had said something. We both started laughing like crazy. I had to leave so she could get her composure back and get back to work.
There are so many other times I find humor in this crazy situation. You will too.
Cindy
send you home. No one showed me how to "milk" the drain to get the thing open if clogged. Once the nurse in the surgeon's office did that things went better. Back to work? I was told not to go out in public with the drains in as it was too easy to pick up an infection. Take your time!!0
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