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new here - and I sure could use someone to talk to

Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2011

My husband has pancreatic cancer, and it was resected in early May thanks to the great docs at Mayo Phoenix. He is in really poor health, doesn't eat hardly at all, and is not strong enough for adjuvant chemo. We are here just the two of us (although have good friends) and I'm just looking for some folks who understand what caregiving is about to talk to. Anyone out there?

Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

Just wanted you to know I am here. my husband has stage IV colon cancer with numerous mets to his liver, I don't know much about pancreatic cancer just know that it all stinks. Being a caregiver is one of the hardest jobs you will ever have and at times it can be the most rewarding. We currently Dr at Mayo in Rochester, MN although we spent most of the winter doing treatments in Scottsdale due to some of the side effects to cold in my husband's chemo (oxalyplatin). Hopefully your husband will become strong enough for the chemo if he needs it. hopes and prayers to you and yours. kim

Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2011

Thank you Kim. I am slowly learning the frustrations and joy of caregiving....these are both painful lessons so far. My best prayers for you and your husband.

palmyrafan's picture
Posts: 397
Joined: Mar 2011

I am a brain cancer patient, my husband is my caregiver.

I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.


Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2011

Thank you Teresa. The power of prayer is a wonderful thing, and I will pray for you also. Stay strong...and I love how you acknowledge your husband as your caregiver. That is kind and generous. Heather

mswijiknyc's picture
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

This is one of those things that while it is nice to meet you, I really wish it could be for something better than cancer. Caregiving is the hardest job you will ever love, especially if your patient is . . . . "fun" to deal with.

O the stories I could tell . . . :) Or you can look up my previous posts from Oct 2010 to around March 2011.

I am unable to give you a hopeful, happy success story. My husband passed February 17, 2011 from laryngeal cancer. But for all the crap and heartache and hard times, I WOULDN'T TRADE ONE MINUTE!!!

I'll keep you in my happy thoughts. Please don't forget to take time out for you and take care of you. It sounds like you are the primary caregiver and as the first, and maybe only, line of defense if you get sick or run down everything goes wrong.


Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2011

I am learning how to be a caregiver (primary and sole) and yes .... my husband is a "fun" patient. He is stubborn and often unmotivated. He has been sick for years (arthritis, other issues) but nothing life threatening till now. He is up and down and I am learning how to be joyful and supportive for him.

I am sorry that your husband passed away....you must miss him so much.


Lelia's picture
Posts: 98
Joined: Jun 2011

So sorry to hear of your husband's--and your--situation. I'm FT caregiver to my husband, he's fighting stage IV head and neck cancer with mets to bone & lymphs, we believe he will conquer the beast. He was VERY unexpectedly diagnosed on New Year's Eve, had 16 hours of surgery in mid-February and finished chemo/radiation a couple months ago.

Before the dx I had a demanding/challenging career that I don't miss one bit. I feel so lucky to be able to take care of him.

I'm glad you found us here on CSN, please let me know how and when I can be helpful to you --Lelia

Posts: 9
Joined: Jul 2011

Lelia - do I understand that you left your career to be the FT caregiver? That must have been quite decision. I would be interested to hear anything you want to share about your decision-making process.


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