Friend with breast cancer....main caregiver

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uisrunnergirl
uisrunnergirl Member Posts: 1
in Breast Cancer #1
Hi...I'm new here and new to the experience of cancer in my daily life... My best friend was diagnosed on June 9th with breast cancer. She went to the MD for back pain to discover she has stage 4 breast cancer. I am single, waiting for Mr. Right and we are like 2 middle school girls who are best friends; when not working (which is a lot) we were joined at the hip. We still are...and will be through this journey. I am her main care giver...her parents live near and stop in, but I do everything for her; get water, food, cook, do dishes, pool and lawn care, dress and bathe her... I cherish every moment with her, and while I believe she will be okay, the journey ahead scares me. I believe attitude is key in the battle, and count the blessings daily and keep my sense of humor...we are optimistic and positive. And...I am sad. I ache I can't make it better. I am terrified things may not go as well as hoped. I am afraid of what chemo and radiation will bring...seeing her in pain breaks my heart. I guess...I just want to know...it can be okay...

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  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    #2
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    Hi -
    First of all, let me
    Hi -

    First of all, let me tell you you are a very sweet friend. That's wonderful how much care and love you give her. God bless you.

    Please try to stay positive, and try not to be sad. She will be OK. Do you know what treatments she is getting yet? Has she had any surgeries? I had chemo and just finished my last one (#8) last Friday. I can tell you it wasn't easy at times, but it was better than I thought. Many ladies here will give you and your friend the support you need. Many of them helped me when I was scared and didn't know what to expect. Please let us know what her current status is and what treatments she is getting. We can give you tips on what to do to help her through the process.

    She will be OK.
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
    #3
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    friends
    You both are lucky to have such a friendship. Keep the sense of humor, it goes a very long way. The rest, you will find what you need to get through this time of your life. Ask what ever questions you have, someone will have the answers. This is a fabulous group of women with lots of information, hugs and prayers!
    I am sure she will let you know what she needs and she will probably be there for you too.
    All the best,
    Cindy
  • newlife2011
    newlife2011 Member Posts: 40
    #4
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    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy
  • newlife2011
    newlife2011 Member Posts: 40
    #5
    Options
    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy
  • newlife2011
    newlife2011 Member Posts: 40
    #6
    Options
    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy
  • newlife2011
    newlife2011 Member Posts: 40
    #7
    Options
    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy
  • newlife2011
    newlife2011 Member Posts: 40
    #8
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    Perfect timing!
    Wow, great time for there to be a computer glitch. Someone must have really wanted you to get my message??? LOL
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #9
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    You are a great friend
    and will be a great help in the future for your friend. My sister in law went to dr for what she thought was a pinched nerve. She had stage 4 cancer in lung, collar bone and ribs. A new onc and attitude gave her 10 good years. Having a positive attitude, a dr who cares, a special friend all have a positive effect. Sending hope for a brighter future.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #10
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    newlife2011 said:

    Perfect timing!
    Wow, great time for there to be a computer glitch. Someone must have really wanted you to get my message??? LOL

    if you press reply to often
    if you press reply to often you get repeats!
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #11
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    While caring
    While caring for her, be sure you also care for yourself. In this way you can be an even greater asset to your friend.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #12
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    cahjah75 said:

    You are a great friend
    and will be a great help in the future for your friend. My sister in law went to dr for what she thought was a pinched nerve. She had stage 4 cancer in lung, collar bone and ribs. A new onc and attitude gave her 10 good years. Having a positive attitude, a dr who cares, a special friend all have a positive effect. Sending hope for a brighter future.
    {{hugs}} Char

    You are a true good friend!
    You are a true good friend! I will be praying for your friend and for you!


    Hugs, Lex
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #13
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    laughs_a_lot said:

    While caring
    While caring for her, be sure you also care for yourself. In this way you can be an even greater asset to your friend.

    I so agree with laughs a
    I so agree with laughs a lot, don't forget to take care of yourself too. Sending prayers and cyber hugs.
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #14
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    Welcome to this site. The
    Welcome to this site. The pink sisters here have so much information to share. Anything you need to ask, just do so.

    I will pray for you and your friend through this journey.


    Judy
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #15
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    newlife2011 said:

    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy

    You certainly are a terrific
    You certainly are a terrific friend and she is lucky to have someone like you to help her. I just want to say that I will be praying for her and for you.
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #16
    Options
    poplolly said:

    Welcome to this site. The
    Welcome to this site. The pink sisters here have so much information to share. Anything you need to ask, just do so.

    I will pray for you and your friend through this journey.


    Judy

    Welcoming you also and
    Welcoming you also and sending prayers and encouragement for your friend. This journey is scary, but, your friend is not alone. She has all of us!


    Hugs, Kylez
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #17
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    Amazing best friend.
    Though you cannot make it better you have made all the difference in the world...
    I have a best friend and though we live thousands of miles apart we manage to be there for one another more than most friends can be. We talk on phone and have gone through our fights for life together she skin cancer and caregiver for mother who died the same time I had my own battle with breast cancer.
    Love can be felt through the miles if people would only share it...
    Love penitrates the heart as I know since battling cancer after moving away from all my family and friends and penetrates through the miles.
    We fill our own hearts with what we choose to fill it with and know now I choose LOVE!

    Especially a love for those here,
    Tara
  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #18
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    newlife2011 said:

    From your side of the fence
    Hi, my BFF also was diagnosed with stage 4, grade 3 breast cancer. It metzed to 9 different spots on her bones. Ribs, sternum, scapula, hip, leg, spine, etc. She was diagnosed April of 2009.
    My BFF and I have been friends for 23 years and shared similar life paths. Whereever she was, I was. We went through divorces together, playing single moms while trying to better ourselves with going back to school, helping each other parent our children. As she decided to invest even more time in B.A.s and Masters I decided to take a job an hour from "home" . Then just as I remarried and moved another hour in the opposite direction she was diagnosed. She is trying really hard not to hate me and I am trying really hard to believe this cancer cannot change us. This is a very difficult place to be in.
    We are staying true to each other , it is who we are. Love. If you would ever like to talk privately, feel free to email me. I wish you and your friend the absolute best, just as I wish for everyone on this site. I know I need an outlet now and again.

    Wendy

    What a terrific friend you
    What a terrific friend you are! Sending prayers and good wishes to the two of you!

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