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Does anyone remember Steel Magnolias? If you do, you'll get it when I say that I just want to hit something really hard!!!

ButterflyLake's picture
Posts: 44
Joined: May 2011

My mom's transitioning, and I am just so darn sad about it. As a caregiver, I am relieved. But as a daughter, I am shattered.

She and I have had the opportunity to have a clean slate, and say everything we needed to say (and then some!) throughout her illenss. I have been told she's had only days to live several times now...but today is the recital to several dress rehearsals. Regardless, I am still not prepared for this.

I want her to have grandbabies. I want her to help me through labor and show me how to outwit toddlers and teenage kids. I want her to be the wacky Nana with a giant candy jar and tons of glitter crayons and nerf toys. I am soooo sad that my (future) kids won't get to know her. Because she's really the best.

Since my mom got diagnosed, a lot of friends have joked that I'm like Sally Fields in Steel Magnolias, and that I would be really strong throughout my loved one's illness, but then just have a big breakdown like Sally's character does in the cemetery after her daugther (Julia Roberts) passes. I'm so there. I'm breaking down, and I just want to hit something, really hard.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1576
Joined: May 2009

I remember that movie, it was one of my favorites. I wished I knew what to say other than I'm sorry your mother is losing her battle and that you are losing a wonderful mother. I will tell you the usual...spend as much time with her as you can, make beautiful memories with her, tell her often how much you love her and know that she will always be in your heart. But I know these are not what you want to hear.

Treasure all your memories and when you have children tell them all about their "wacky nana" so they will get to know this wonderful woman also.

Please stay strong and know that my heart aches for you.

catcon49's picture
Posts: 398
Joined: Aug 2008

I am soooo sorry for you. I am on the other end of the spectrum. Hoping I get to be the grandma with the candy jar etc. But your children will know her, it will be your job to tell them about her with pictures and stories. I know it isn't the same. But my younger 2 missed the opportunity to know my husband's mom for long. But I try to tell them funny stories about her and it is very heart warming. And she will be with you always, maybe not physically but in spirit.

God bless you and come back here often if you need to.


Posts: 183
Joined: Apr 2011

I am so very sorry to hear of your mother's transitioning. Indeed, it is a sad situation for a daughter to experience. It is definitely okay to be mad! That cancer monster came uninvited into your lives and forever changed the future for everyone involved. It is understandable. I am sending prayers of peace to you and your family during this difficult time.

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