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Father's Day

Hopeful720's picture
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

My dad passed away (I've written numerous posts about it) on January 19th, 2011 at 56 years old from sarcoma tumors in both lungs. This Sunday is Father's Day, and the 5 month anniversary of his death. My heart is broken...the tears have been close the falling.

With warmth, hugs, and prayers...

Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Those first "anniversaries" are very hard. My Terry has been gone 1 year June 14th and the
sadness is still there. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I had 32 years with the most amazing person, who loved me and our children, provided for us and enjoyed life with us. There are many people who never experience that in there lifetimes. Hold onto the good memories of your dad. Do something on Father's Day for yourself. He would want that.

Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 2009

I am really sorry – I don’t know what else to say, I am just sorry! I would give you a hug if I could (I’m a good man, not some perv, LOL)

I remember last Fathers Day with some guilt. I got angry at my wife because I had worked so hard to provide and make Mothers Day special for her and for Father’s Day she slept and had me run errands for her. I finally exploded in hurt and anger, the first time I had expressed my anger like that since her diagnosis. I knew how ill she was but damn, I just wanted one day for me! Little did I know that she would not survive two months later.

My daughter is up to visit from La Jolla. As she pulled her car into the garage I had this “Flashback” of when she and her mother would come home laughing and talking. Amazing how benign memories like this will hit me from nowhere. I swore I heard my wife’s voice with my daughters.

Well, I am making this all about me-sorry! I will be thinking of you this Fathers Day and here is a hug from a total stranger, but still a good man, and hopefully still a good father who misses his spouse.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

I have lost both my husband and my father so Fathers' Day is not a holiday I look forward to these days. I know it is a tough day for our sons as well even though they are both fathers and celebrate with their Own families. My birthday also falls about that time. This will be my second year of "celebration." It isn't as raw this time as the day nears. Yes, those firsts are the hardest. Just try to remember that your father will always be a part of your life. My dad has been gone for over ten years, but I remember him often. He is an important part of who I am, just as your father is for you. Crying is a good thing. I know it makes our eyes red and our noses stuffy, but it also gives us a bit of relief. It helps us cope with our losses. It shows that we cared deeply. I'm sorry you will have to face this holiday without you father. It will get easier but it may never stop hurting. Would we really want it any other way? As I told my husband the day before he passed, if he had been a real sob, none of us would care. Aren't we glad we had these special men in our lives, even though they weren't here long enough? It is never long enough. Fay

Conchal's picture
Posts: 42
Joined: Apr 2011

and I wish there were some special words I could convey that could help. But I have only these: cherish the memories and talk about your Dad to others. Talk to him, too, and in time you will feel more at peace. If it is emotional for you, friends and family will surely understand.

My father passed away more than seven years ago; he had a stroke, and the drs. found a massive and malignant tumor in his abdomen shortly thereafter. He lived one week in the hospital and died while I was not there (my mom was). It was a shocking and sudden end to a great man's life. I still miss him, and just last week my brother posted a happy birthday message to him on facebook (his b-day was in early June). Many family members chimed in and said how much they still miss him.

So indulge your feelings, Hopeful. Talk about your Dad; talk to him, too, and let us know how you are faring in the months ahead.


Hopeful720's picture
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

I will write to all of you soon - it is too hard for me to even write about my dad right now. I just wanted you to know that I truly appreciate all of your kind, supportive, warm, caring, thoughtful words. It means more than you know. I am sending you all hugs, warmth, and prayers, and hoping you're finding peace today and every day.

Thank you for taking the time to write - it helps me a little every day.

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