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Joined: Jun 2011

I am new to this site, but I just wanted to post some fears and concerns I am having. I am 32 years old and my mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer about two weeks ago. She had a CAT scan and bone scan and the doc was concerned with the bone scan. She went for a PET scan and he saw some stuff that worried him, now she is having a bone biopsy done. I am so scared for my mother and don't know how to handle all of this. It is happening all so quickly and the suspense of not knowing is killing me. I cry constantly, I have a two year old son and I can't even function. I would rather have the cancer than my mother. I love my mother so much and can't even imagine life without her. You know the doc first said, stage 2 and now we are not sure what stage she has b/c he is not certain if it has spread to the bones. How am I to function through the days not knowing how long my mother is going to be on this earth???? I am so scared................

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

First, welcome to the board none of us ever wanted to be a part of. Fear of the unknown is always hard. Waiting for test results ranks way up on our worry scale. Once you have all the results, your mom will have a plan. Knowing what you are facing helps. The journey will be hard whatever the results. Many of us would have gladly taken on the burden of cancer for the ones we love, but we can't. We have to play the cards we are dealt. You can, however, be a great support person. Be there for her. I know your presence during the treatment program will mean a great deal to your mom. Try not to allow the worries about the future to take away your todays. Give your mom lots of hugs. Spend time with her now and know that time with you and your son are the greatest gifts she can ever receive. Take care and let us know the results of the tests and where you are going from here. Fay

Posts: 86
Joined: Aug 2011

My mom was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer 3 years ago and had a complete Thyroidectomy (or however you spell it). Last summer my parents went to Europe and when she came back she was limping and had massive pain. We told her doctor who immediately ordered a bone scan. On November 17, 2010 a date I will never ever forget, her doctor called me as he felt I could handle the news better (which was a huge mistake on his part since I was at work and hyperventilated)and told me over the phone that my mom had lesions on her bones. Freckles32, I was no longer coherent. I said to myself my mom is going to die tomorrow. I understand your worriness and have children of my own which I have a hard time functioning as well. I love my mom with all my heart and cry every single night. My kids have seen me cry they are a little older than your son and they just hug me as they know their grandma is not well. My mom has done radiation, a surgery to replace her hip as the cancer destroyed her bone on the hip and some chemo. Last week she passed another bone scan as she is complaining of upper back pain and her cancer has progressed. This is a knife in my chest. My mom doesn't know yet as her english is not very well and tomorrow is when the Oncologist will give us the options and treatment suggestions if there's any. I don't mean to say that your mom has anything like this but I am just writing to let you know how scared I am as well. I cannot imagine life without my mom, she is the world to me. I wish you good luck and please if you need to write, let me know what the doctor tells her. All the best. My prayers are with you.

AnneBehymer's picture
Posts: 739
Joined: Jul 2011

I will let you know that for those of us with cacner feel your pain also. As we are figt this beast we have you all in our minds. I don't really worry about me dieing because I know when I am gone I will be with my heavenly father. What I do worrie about is my mom and dad and how this is going to hurt them. I worrie about my mom the most because we are best friends not just mother and daught so this will hit her the hardest and I worrie about what that is going to do to her. I just wanted you both to know that your mom worries about you as much as you worrie about her. She does not want to leave you and not because she is scared to die but because she knows how much this is going to hurt you both. Try as well as you can to let her know you will be ok if she passes. My mom told me about two weeks into this ride with cancer that when I could not fight any longer that it was ok for me to just let go. She said when it becomes to much for you to hold on that is was ok. I asked her why she would say that and that I planned on fighting with all I had. She told me that she knows me and that I would try to hang on so that she would not have to feel the pain of me dieing. And she is right I would hang just for her. She said that is why I am telling you this now don't worrie about me just fight as long as you want to and when you know it has gotten to hard then just let go for me. That is how much I love her that I would live with the pain and everything that goes with cancer.The mouth sores the numb feeling in my feet the feeling like I want to throw up all the time and the intenst pain in my bones and body all the time just to keep her from being in pain. So for her to relese me from that leaves me free to just fight and not worrie about her. sorry if i rambled to much. But I wanted you to know what your moms are feeling I hope that helps

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