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Treecy1106's picture
Posts: 159
Joined: Apr 2011

I start chemo June 2nd.....Ac/Tax 4/4 total of 8 rounds. Don't seem to have any foresight with regards to this.
I have changed so much. Isolated myself and find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning...
Don't know how to live again.....

camul's picture
Posts: 2541
Joined: Dec 2010

Treecy, so sorry that you are feeling this way. Cancer is a scary thing no matter how you look at it and it sucks. But it really does get better. I am not tn, but I do have idc stage iv grade 3, and there are days when it is a really hard thing just to get up, return phone calls etc. Then I reach for any straw that I can find to help me! Sometimes it is as simple as laying in bed and reminding myself of everything that is good, but other days I have stayed in my pj's and have done absolutely nothing for most of the day.
This disease not only affects us physically, but mentally, financially, and it even impacts relationships, therefore giving us a lot to think about and grieve over. However, I can't speak for others, but once I started the chemo, I felt like I became an active participant in fighting this horrendous disease, and it was all empowering just knowing that if it gets me, it won't be without one hell of a fight! But in the week leading up to the first treatment I was very nervous and apprehensive and can honestly say that it left me at times unable to function. I went thru the treatments 9 years ago and the chemo made me so ill and exhausted that I was so sure that it would happen again. Thankfully, treatments have changed so much and the meds to fight the nausea is amazing now, compared to then.
It may be a good idea to give your doctor a call. Many cancer centers or foundations have one on one counselors that work with the center and work only with cancer patients. I know with this recent diagnosis, I met with one. She was helpful getting my son who was having a hard time with this and I through the initial phase of dealing with the disease. Please, rather than isolating yourself, get some help to continue living. Don't let this s.o.b of a disease take everything from you. Fighting this disease is a journey that can change your outlook on life, but I will tell you that so many of the changes should have taken place many years ago. It forces us to look deep inside of us and determine what is important!
I will keep you in my prayers.

kya911's picture
Posts: 157
Joined: Oct 2010

agree with Carol.
I finished Chemo 3/16/11.
It was not a walk in the park,but very doable.I worked though chemo & radiation.
Once you have the first chemo you will be fine. It is the unknown that scares us the most.
Peace & Blessing

Posts: 2515
Joined: May 2009

I'm also triple negative, had stage IIa grade 3 ...no lymph node involvement...lumpectomy, chem and rads...all this in 2009...I was diagnosed 2 years ago last month and I am doing fine. ! I understand your fear and anxiety..everyone with a cancer diagnoses understands..and I understand your isolating yourself....I basically did the same thing until I started chemo...I felt "safe" at home...and I felt like no one understood exactly how I felt..and they don't unless they've gone through it...I have a great husband, grown kids and 4 grands....I see by your picture that you are considerably younger than I...and a beautiful girl ! I was 58 when diagnosed...You look about my daughter's age...

Once I started chemo, I actually felt better, mentally....I was doing something to regain my good health...the fight was on! For me, one of the hardest parts of chemo was walking through the door of the cancer center the first time...chemo is scary the first time...fear of the unknown...it's not the most pleasant experience but very doable...it is so different today than years ago...the drugs to combat side effects have changed so much, for the better..my chemo cocktail was Taxotere/ Cytoxan...with a Neulasta injection 24 hours later...I was religious in taking my anti nausea drugs and steroids, starting the day before chemo as advised by my oncologist..and I continued this regiment for a total of 4 days...I was advised to take the anti nausea drugs around the clock whether I felt nauseated or not...easier to prevent it than getting it under control once it starts, if it does...8 was never sick..not even the first wave of nausea...they will also give you anti nausea meds before starting the chemo drugs...I was told to have a full stomach before each infusion and to drink, drink, drink plenty of fluids before, during and after..It helps....my first one was the roughest, with some diarrhea, and bone pain....a shock to your body..but the remaining infusions went smoothly.....but we 're all different..

You've come to the right place...you will find a wealth of info via first hand experiences...from wonderful, caring women...Please keep posting and reading...this site helped save my sanity when first diagnosed....

Anything I can help you with, I am glad to do it....feel free to ask...many have walked in your shoes..and we are examples of " there is life after bc"

Hugs and best wishes,

BMS's picture
Posts: 127
Joined: Feb 2011

I just finished chemo on March 24th. Like Nancy said, everyone is different, but the fear of the unknown is what gets us all. I was scared to death getting my diagnosis last year. My cocktail was TCH (Taxotere/Cytoxan/Herceptin) and it was brutal at times, but I did it! Do take the anti-nausea meds they give you. They are your friend and you do not have to try and be a hero. Drinking as much water (2 liters was recommended) as you can each day is key! Flush the toxins out!

I am in the middle of radiation...it's a breeze!

You can do this and we are all here for you. Ask anything. We were all in your shoes and some very recently.


ssmith37's picture
Posts: 22
Joined: May 2011

Hi Treecy. I know how you feel. I too am triple negative. My surgery (lumpectomy) is this Tuesday morning. I'm scared to death to start chemo. But I already have found such encouragement from these ladies' posts that I know I can do it. I love reading about their experiences and most of all, their encouragement to others and their humor. Keep reading and posting, and by all means, don't close yourself off to the world. We're all here for you and for each other. Please keep us posted.


Gabe N Abby Mom's picture
Gabe N Abby Mom
Posts: 2415
Joined: Sep 2010

Hi Treecy,

My dx is triple neg inflammatory breast cancer. Treatment was 6 rounds of the TAC all together (3 week cycle), mastectomy (no choice), and 44 round of rads (2x a day for 22 days). I'll be celebrating my one year cancerversary in Aug.

This whole roller coaster ride is certainly scary. And yes cancer takes a lot away from us, but don't let it steal your joy too! Fight, fight, fight to keep that joy in your life!

My onc prescribed ativan for anxiety (it also helps with sleep and nausea). I was told to take one the night before and one the morning of my first treatment. If your doc hasn't done this, please ask for something. Once you get that first treatment over, the fear of the unknown goes away.

The only other thing I'll add is please come here often. We'll help you hang on and ride this lousy coaster.



Posts: 74
Joined: Sep 2010

My dx was TN Grade2b stage 3 with lymph node involvement. My chemo was the same as yours. Emotinally I felt much better after starting chemo. We were doing something to fight this xxx%^& thing! Physically I did well, did the anti nausea meds, nuelasta shot the day after every chemo and I just missed 2 days of work other than chemo days because I was running a temp. I hope you too will feel emotionally better as treatment begins. I had a double masectomy a month after chemo then radiation 30X 6 weeks later. Now to get rid of these rocks --tissue expanders--that surger is scheduled for 9/20...

Hubby's picture
Posts: 325
Joined: Apr 2010

It is a roller coaster ride. I haven't posted here for a long while, but want to give you some encouragement!! My wife (Donna) went through AC/T also 4 and 4 every two weeks; is triple negative (although stage 1). It's hard (it royally s**ks) but it's doable. It has a begining, a middle and an end. The AC was rougher on my wife than the Taxol, so count down the treatments. My wife was stronger than she thought, and my guess is that so are you!!! It will be a new normal that you will return to. Donna finished chemo in Sept, rads in Nov and had her cancerversary on April 1st.

You can do it!!!


Posts: 3659
Joined: Aug 2009

Remember - that we are each unique and there is no way that any of us can tell you what your experiences will be - we can only pass on our personal experiences.

I did 4 A/C (2 weeks apart) first. It was not bad at all - yes, did loose hair, eyes and nose 'ran', tired for 2 days but rest/nap took care of it, lost all sense of taste and appetite. Neulasta was not a problem either - no pain - the only thing was that I'd go to sleep for 2 hrs, 2 hrs (almost to the minute) after injection I'd wake up. Never had any pain or nausea and it never stopped me from doing anything I wanted to do. 2 weeks after last A/C had a rt. Mod. Rad. Mast. and 3 weeks later started 12 weekly Taxol. Taxol was NASTY! I was completely and utterly EXHAUSTED the entire time and could not sleep without Ambien. Rest did not help as about all I could do was either lay on the couch or in bed. Again - no pain or nausea (even when I stopped taking the anti -nausea meds about 1/2 way through). A week after last Taxol I started 25 Rads and started feeling better immediatly. Rads were not a problem during them at all.

Talk to your Dr(s) - there are meds that can help with the depression. Check with your Center(BC Navigator)/local ACS - there are support groups that may help you.

You can (and will) do it and handle what you have to - we all have a lot more that we can dig down to in us when we have to. I know it seems like a long time you're looking at BUT it will be over sooner than you think now

Hang in there - ask all the questions you have - but don't expect that YOU will react the same as any of us have - we are all unique.


JoAnn4818's picture
Posts: 83
Joined: Jan 2011

Hi Treecy,

My cancer is triple negative, stage 2a too. I went through the same chemo you'll be going through. It was tough but I got through it with the help of my family, friends, the infusion center nurses and the wonderful people you'll meet on this site. After I was first diagnosed with triple negative I was so scared and I cried a lot. I remember a nurse telling me not to be frightened - that scared me! As I went through chemo I decided to learn more about what I had. I don't read the statistics anymore - it was pointed out to me that they may include people who didn't complete their treatments or the study was done a long time ago. A lot has changed even in the last few years. I learned that if it doesn't come back after five years it likely will never come back and I've met many long time survivors on line. I know a great deal of research is being done right now on this type of cancer. There are many women participating in clinical trials on new medicines that may help us. The more I learned the better I felt.

I finished chemo a month ago and I've and I've re-joined my friends. I'm enjoying even the small stuff every day. I'm much closer to my husband and sons. We remember to say I love you. I'm not saying that I don't get that scared feeling at all anymore, I do, but much less often.

I know you can do this and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


Posts: 3659
Joined: Aug 2009

The stats do include all who have been DX with BC - whatever type/whatever stage at DX/your TX (or decision to not do TX or only part of)/your attitude/your overall health/etc. Those of us who are healthy otherwise are 'lumped' in with those who have other (possibly major) health issues previous to DX. Me - I'm 'healthy as a horse' and always have been - other than the IBC, Lymphema issues and some athritis in upper back, there are no health issues I have. The stats say that there is a 25% - 40% chance of me making it the 'majik' 5 years - I don't believe/accept that - my personal odds are either 0% or 100%. 25% - 40% of ME can not get a re-occurance - either I do or I don't (100% or 0%).

Don't dwell on 'stats' - many are very outdated and may not apply to you anyway.


jessiesmom1's picture
Posts: 873
Joined: Jun 2010

I was diagnosed with TNBC in Dec. 2009 - Stage IIa, grade 3. I had an axillary dissection (22 lymph nodes removed and 2 were positive) followed by a right mastectomy in Feb. 2010. Chemotherapy was next - 4 rounds of A/C and 12 rounds of Taxotere. It is depressing to say the least to find out you have breast cancer. There is so much to learn including what seems like a whole new language. It is a lot to deal with. My last chemo was in August 2010. I will be having my reconstruction surgery on June 13th. I will have nicer boobs than my 18 year old daughter. Problem is, the rest of me is 53! I feel good and have a full head of hair. I have EVERYTHING to live for. You can do this and will have much company on the journey with the Pink Sisters. Let us know when you need the Magic Pink Bus.


Posts: 358
Joined: Mar 2011

I started on April 29 and have 2 more to go. This certainly hasn't been fun and I will be thrilled when I'm done, but it really is doable. We will be here with you to support you and help you through it every step of the way!


laughs_a_lot's picture
Posts: 1369
Joined: Mar 2011

I have TNBC stage 2, Lumpectomy, grade 3 with 2 out of 15 lymph nodes involved. I had a tumor that was 6.6 cm at it's largest dimension. This normally would have classified me as a stage 3 if only size were considered. However, the lady who did my pathology report is a member of my church. I do not know if the reason I was still classified at stage 2 with such a large tumor had to do with cellular issues (perhaps many cells precancerous throughout the tissue sample or what ever might influence them). However, the pathologist also knows many of the struggles I have been through, and perhaps that is why I was classified as stage 2 when it could easily have been stage 3. Or it could have been a combination of cellular issues and personal issues. I don't think I want to know the answer to the question. Breast Cancer itself may not be the toughest opponent I have faced. That remains to be seen once I start dancing with NED>

For most people with tnbc I would advise not to pay too much attention to the statistics as it can be scary. However, I have a disabled husband and I just had to know the truth. In this way I could prepare him for whatever I might encounter. I took the worst case scenario and figured out how living in that could be ok for me. Once I resloved that in my mind I figured any outcome better than that was going to be ok as well.

I immediately took up the attitude that I was going to "kick cancer's A$$!" When you mess with the security of my husband and the happiness of my grandchildren you were on the fighting side of me. I am very protective of my loved ones you see.

One thing you may want to consider. If after starting chemo you still feel stuck in this isolation and difficulty getting out of bed then please consider taking an anti-depressant. What you have been given as a diagnosis is no picnic in the park and could topple the leaders of foriegn nations. There should be no shame attatched to the need for a medication of this sort. You will need every weapon in your arsenal at your disposal. If you are going to get your life back, and I know you will, you need to give cancer h3!!. Kick butt and fight like a girl!!!!

Posts: 579
Joined: Dec 2010

Nancy and Carol say it all. Good luck and keep in touch. Rosalind

Vigee's picture
Posts: 66
Joined: May 2011

Oh, Sweetie, I completely understand. I am SO VERY SORRY you are going through this.

None of us deserves this.

I am new to this, too. I was diagnosed on April 19th and will have my 3rd chemo on Tuesday.

Like all the other Ladies have said, the unknown seems to be the scariest. You are definitely in the right place here to express yourself and get some advice and answers.

Drink LOTS of water. I put a little fresh squeezed organic lemon juice in mine.

You will figure out how to live again. And, after time, you will actually smile and laugh again.

Sending you love and a BIG HUG.


mamolady's picture
Posts: 796
Joined: May 2011

I am stage 2 grade 1 and 2 w/ lymph node involvement EP +. The day before my first chemo, I was more scared than I have ever been in my life. (I had a pretty scary ex-husband so that says a lot) My husband went with me and stayed the entire time. As soon as I left I wasn't scared anymore. Chemo is tough but doable. Try not to isolate your self. Reach out to family, friends, support groups or whomever you can. It is easy to become overwhelmed and want to stay in bed but try to reach out. You don't have to be positive all the time but remember, you will get through this. Life will go on. Fortunately, women have a tendency to talk to each other and that is more important than you realize.


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