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The ugly things people say

michelleb1064
Posts: 53
Joined: Apr 2011

I hope that I am not the only one that has come across this. I was on another chat site (not for cancer patients) for anyone to chat about anything. I had posted that I had cancer and most people were really nice and continued to check in with me daily to see how I was doing. Recently I recieved I post from a young man insisting that the devil gave me cancer because I was a sinner and that all I need to do was put god back in my life. Now mind you I have never spoken or seen this man in my life. Who is he to say that I have sinned and what kind of person would say that to someone with cancer? What about innocent children that get cancer? I suppose he thinks thier sinners too!? What an ***! Has anyone else come across this?
Also after I get chemo I return the next day for hydration so they leave the iv taped to chest in my medaport so they dont have to stick me with another needle the next day. After chemo my mom took me to get lunch at Olive Garden and Im sitting there trying to enjoy my food with the iv still attached and I get people pointing at me and looking at me like Im going to poison thier food. One lady even turned completly around to see this thing hanging on my chest! I'm thinking why dont you just ask? Its so annoying that I may tell people its a bumb coming out of my chest so everyone will leave and I can eat in peace.

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

Hey,
I could jump on this with all 4's,but if I do I will be reported with being offensive.So I will have to clean it up a little bit.The world is full of A$$holes. The longer you live the more aware of it you become. Those jerks are ignorant and I do not think there is any real hope for them. It used to bother me,but now I just laugh at them.The word cancer scares a lot of people. You could say cancer of the little fingernail and all they would hear is the word cancer. With making remarks such as that they just may have a worse problem than we do. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

michelleb1064
Posts: 53
Joined: Apr 2011

Having cancer I too have realised how ignorant people are. They do act as if thay are going to catch cancer sitting next to you. At times I wonder if I was once that way, though I dont recall ever being that way. Ive had so many people in my family that had cancer so I had a pretty good understanding of it early on. Cancer has made me appriciate life and everything life had to offer more.

CountryGal7557
Posts: 165
Joined: Feb 2011

Michelle, I would agree with what John said about those type of people having a worse problem than us or anyone else. It's their sick way of feeling superior.

the best response is no response!
Hugs!!
Janelle

Michele23
Posts: 168
Joined: Mar 2011

I also agree,there are still people who think they can catch it for heaven's sake.I remember those stares when I had my port.I swear some people can spin their heads the WHOLE way around on those shoulders.So sorry you had to be put through all that extra stress.RUDE RUDE RUDE..shame on them all. Sending a basket full of hugs,Michele DX95 FNHL3

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

I have a sister in law that told me the reason I had cancer was from some unresolved problem from my childhood. I told her I had wonderful parents and they loved me very much. I had a great childhood. She told my other sister in law that the reason she had breast cancer is because she hated her mother. Neither one of us can believe it. She has been my sister in law for many years and I love her but I really am having a hard time fogiving what she said to both of us. I have to forgive her I know but forgetting is another story.

michelleb1064
Posts: 53
Joined: Apr 2011

I wonder what she would say about her self if she ended up getting cancer? How crazy!!

skuttlebug
Posts: 45
Joined: May 2011

mechelle im sorry you were hurt and people like that dont understand to much of anything and they are ust plain mean to hurt someone but try not to let it bother you i know its really hard but we have to try not to have stress we have to think about ourselfs let them live in thier own stupidity they are the ones losing out. blessings denise

COBRA666's picture
COBRA666
Posts: 2413
Joined: May 2010

Denise,
You said it just how it is. I agree with you 100%. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

miss maggie
Posts: 929
Joined: Mar 2010

Dear Joanie,

Why is it people and doctors think all of our problems go back to
childhood. Of course, there are some that are so traumatized, yes
it would be childhood related. In that situation, it's time to get
over it and move on.

How horrible she told you she hated her mother. Don't listen to her words.

Love Maggie

truckingalong
Posts: 444
Joined: Aug 2010

Dear Joanie,

Yes - agreed with all being said. I used to feel inferior when ppl were so judgmental and now I learn how Life is precious so I go on my journey and worry less but still from time to time, it hurts to hear those judging unfairly and untactful.

Love,
Liz

JoanieP's picture
JoanieP
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

It is amazing what people say when they have never had cancer. I try to put it out of my mind what my sister in law said to me and my other sister in law. Life is prescious as you said and I don't have time to listen to that kind of garbage. Take care

Jeramias's picture
Jeramias
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2011

Don't let them get to you. I would tell you what I would do but that probably isn't the best response for you. As for God giving you cancer because you're a sinner....this is absolutly absurd. If God is out there I can only think of two reasons why he would allow you to get cancer. One is it's your time and two it's because you happen to be strong enough to survive it. That way you can tell your story and help advance the search to find a cure.

michelleb1064
Posts: 53
Joined: Apr 2011

I don't let them get to me. I've just come to the conclusion that a lot people are ignorant and just plain old rude. I've been going through chemo for 9 months now and even when times are tuff, I still manage to not let it show on the outside. I have 2 kids and don't want them to see me sick or in pain. I do talk to them about me having cancer and reassure them that everything would be ok. I think it's important to talk to them. I had to talk fast too, because my daughter freaked out when she saw that my hair was almost gone!

skuttlebug
Posts: 45
Joined: May 2011

MIchelle, how old are your kids? I have 2 sons the oldest 33 and 29, and two daughters 25 and the youngest my 13 year old. They all understand but my 13 year old which makes it hard. I probaly could type this better if my home care giver would stop talking and do her work, I'm usally not like this but sometimes it feels like it takes so much energy just to talk and my 13 year old wears me out and she drains me. Blessings Denise

michelleb1064
Posts: 53
Joined: Apr 2011

Hey Denise,
My son is 13 and my daughter is 5. I think my daughter has ADHD and she is so smart for her age. She retains everything! Their brains really are like sponges! And my son...well, I talk to him about it but sometimes it's like talking to a brick wall. At times I think he doesn't really care, but that's a teen for you!
Michelle

skuttlebug
Posts: 45
Joined: May 2011

Michelle it must be really hard to have to have a little one while having chemo. I had to have my ex-husband to help me, did that ever turn out to be a nightmare. I hope you have some help, i know how it feels to talk to a brick wall i did it three times now once again. blessings Denise

skuttlebug
Posts: 45
Joined: May 2011

Michelle it must be really hard to have to have a little one while having chemo. I had to have my ex-husband to help me, did that ever turn out to be a nightmare. I hope you have some help, i know how it feels to talk to a brick wall i did it three times now once again. blessings Denise

taylorman
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2010

Never mind the rude people that stare at you or say awful things. Just think to yourself; "I see idiots walking around like regular people. They don't know they're idiots. They're everywhere!"

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