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Did anyone else just feel lost and depressed for no reason after there surgery even though your prognosis is supposedly good

Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

It just seems i have no control over my emotions and its realy hard to talk to people sometimes and i realy feel lost like what happen I had so many other plans and here I am with not one thing i started to do even in my grasp but i know ill get through it but it all happened so fast i dont think i believe it yet Ido plan to reach my other goals but sometimes when things get in your way you just get overwelmed and not everybody gets it

chenheart's picture
Posts: 5180
Joined: Apr 2003

We get it~ we sooooo get it! It doesn't matter how good our prognosis is, it (almost) doesn't matter how great our family is, or how many friends we have, or how nice the weather is. What matters is, our own mortality has tapped us on the shoulder, and those 3 little words, namely "You Have Cancer" emotionally knocks the wind out of our sails! Most of the time we may be just fine~ we may be happy and laughing, we may be doing things we love to do and then WHAM! An emotional onslaught we never expected pulls us up by the short hairs. No exact rhyme or reason, but real just the same.

The further out we get from diagnosis, generally the better we feel about things in general. That having been said, we also never quite forget what brought us to this place.

If for some reason you don't feel better in what you consider a reasonable amount of time ( and only you can gauge this) please get professional help! So many of the Kindred Spirits here have well-deserved situational depression, and get counseling and yes~ take meds to help take the edge off.


Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

Im very grateful that people get it cause i didnt and now I dont think im a wining baby that these r real feelings so thank you to u and all who replied realy u have just brought tears to my eyes but for good not bad cause the fact that someone realy does understand helps so much plus im still in pain not as bad but some just feels like something not right maybe this is just the new me and i have to rethink all that was normal and understand the change son graduated college today so very happy i was well to go see him very proud and i now have another reason to smile all the kind people here thank u soooooooo very very much

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2011

i was also feeling the same way i thought i was going nuts, my prognosis after the surgery was awesome then why do i feel sad? after reading what you ladies have to say makes me feel better. is true the diagnosis of cancer shook me to the end of the earth and i guess i am still scared i keep thinking of my five year old son and leaving him with out a mother and that alone scares me to my core. again thank
you ladies i feel a little better.



Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

well very happy u feel better thats great and i hope u continue to feel better each day this site realy helps cause u talk to people who know and feel what u r

butterflylvr's picture
Posts: 944
Joined: Apr 2011

Awww... You have every right to be emotional. Life cruises on and you have everything under control and your ducks are all in a row and then bam. What the heck just happened? Usually within the first few weeks/months of our diagnosis we are put through a gamut of tests, doctors and procedures. We battle through them because we know nobody can do them but us all the while still trying to keep our lives as normal as possible for ourselves and our families.

Well life isn't normal for us anymore, and now how do we define what is normal? It's too early in our BC journey to answer that and no matter how much others try to help us either physically or emotionally, it's not always what we need. I have a feeling sitting idle just after surgery, you are finally able to reflect back on your journey thus far and your emotions are finally starting to catch up to you.

My first couple days were my emotional ones, but I took back control of the reins and never looked back. I have to admit coming here has allowed me to express my concerns and believe me we have some pretty good councilors here on this board. Because we all "Get it".

Hugs to you and I hope you are feeling back to your old self soon, but in the meantime vent away here...


Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

thanks very much u all help so much and it is appreciated

robang13's picture
Posts: 333
Joined: Apr 2011

Emotional? You bet!! I am NOT an emotional person, but I sure became one the first month or so after my diagnosis!! I never cried so much in my life. I couldn't understand why the tears would start over the smallest of things. I was on the phone with my pharmacist and he was telling me my pain meds (for another condition) couldn't be filled for another month. I started sobbing onto the phone and couldn't control myself. I thought I was losing my mind. I'm sure that poor man did also : ). I would watch tv and cry. Look at my husband and cry. Look at my kids and cry. I have never felt like that before in my life. I finally found a few woman on one of my lists that went through this and it started to calm me. Then I found this list and spoke to a few woman and felt even better. I couldn't even say the word cancer. I didn't want anyone to know and made sure those who did kept it quiet. I am now 4 weeks into radiation and only 2 months from diagnosis but am finally feeling like myself. I can say the word cancer. I even told my dentist today what I'm going through and I didn't cry! So cry your eyes out, be depressed, rant and rave and hopefully soon you will start to except and feel a little more normal. I too have a great diagnosis and was told I am a lucky one. I don't feel so lucky but am starting to appreciate that maybe I am.

If you want to "talk" send me a message and we can "talk" to each other. Maybe I can help you like so many here have helped me.


VickiSam's picture
Posts: 9085
Joined: Aug 2009

grip on my reality, surgeries, chemo and reconstruction -- I looked forward. Did I cry again, sure - myriad emotional roller coaster.

We are human, altho we pretend to be super women to family, friends and co workers. If your depression continues, and it may, please speak with your doctor - perhaps there is counseling, and or support center in your area. I needed anti depressants - plain and simple, my depression and ANGER led me into a very dark place. Fighting breast cancer, is oh so difficult.

Good luck ..

Strength and Courage,

Vicki Sam

Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

thank u for all ur kindness in time so needed

KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Same feelings....I set my mind to not think about it...other than to live life more fully...

Hugs, Kathi

(5 years post treatment, stage II invasive ductal...followed stage III rectal by 6 months...cancer free on both)

Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

thank u trying to live life fully and i believe we will all get there just need a little time to wrap my head around it all

Posts: 140
Joined: May 2011

thank u trying to live life fully and i believe we will all get there just need a little time to wrap my head around it all

Miss Murphy's picture
Miss Murphy
Posts: 302
Joined: Feb 2010

I totaly get where you are coming from - think all of us do. I'm a little more than 3 years out from my dx and I still have my periodic meltdowns after my dx of "if I had to have bc, this was the best kind to have". I first thought I had sort of gotten "a get out of jail free card" with only having to do at first the AI drug. After two of those with bad side effects, my onc switched me to Tamofin and I still have side effects but not quite as severe so I'm not really free after all! I think I can safely say that all of us on this board 'get it". Hang on to your goals.

Hugs, Sally

Posts: 2
Joined: May 2011

I feel like my breast cancer's sisters are anxiety and depression. Thanks to the person who first asked this question today, as I was just now trying to figure out if my malaise/depression is related to the Tamoxifen, to my pre-existing depression (usually controlled), or some type of subliminal thoughts I am having about the breast cancer in general - it is as if there is such a feeling of looking from the outside in - as if there is nothing under my control. And yet I know I am sure I am fine, and look fine to others. After having come this far (typical treatment surg, rad, chemo)I know I have no right to complain as I am lucky and blessed, and hope all others have an easy road. Thank you sisters.

laughs_a_lot's picture
Posts: 1369
Joined: Mar 2011

If you didn;t have depression prior to bc this certainly is an ocassion for it. I resented all the changes this meant to so many of my plans. I felt so many of my dreams had been delayed already prior to the diagnosis. Now this was just going to complicate matters for me to say the least. So I had to take a serious look at life under the worse case scenario and how I would handle that. Once I processed that, I was ok because I figured anything better than handling life under the worst case scenario would be like a bonus to me. So someday when I have not experinced the worst case scenario I will need to put my imaination to work and move forward in life with altered dreams.

skipper54's picture
Posts: 936
Joined: Feb 2011

Thank you for posting! I've finished chemo, had surgery, finished rads, and started Femara. I was blaming the Femara. Sometimes I could just sit and cry and I don't know why. My PET scan before I started rads was clear so the prognosis is great but I just don't have my energy back yet and get to feeling sorry for myself. Guess the pink sisters are right - all of a sudden your own mortality taps you on the shoulder. It's good to know that not one of us is alone. Hope you're feeling better soon!

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

Yes that is a key word. My dx was a good one.I've been told over and over by my doctors.BUT it is me and I don't feel that way.I am confused.Someone needs to pinch me. No chemo or radiation just tamox. Is that a good thing or would rads been better??? I go by my doctors.

I see where some meds can cause us to be more depressed.Now I wonder about my tamoxfin. I will stay on it.No other serious side effects and don't want to change to something else.

I still get weepy eyed after almost 2 years.Sometimes at night when I say my prayers tears fill my eyes.It all comes down at bedtime and I ask for everyone with cancer to be better.For me and everyone who is sick with any life threatening disease.

In time I will get better.Just health issues besides cancer popped up after dx.The problems are somewhat minor but I don't want any added thing. I was doing good. Then a cancer scare of my kidney and bladder(which was OK) but kidney stones and a cyst were found.Better than cancer but feel now those organs are weak/sick.

A few more years and things will get better.

Lynn Smith

LoveBabyJesus's picture
Posts: 1680
Joined: Jan 2011

I sometimes feel down too, but right away I pray and I feel better. I also come to this great community and I feel better too. I have pets, and I see them - they make me smile. I look out my window and thank God for everyday, the sky, nature, love ones. Yes, sometimes it's hard to block the idea that...yes...you were dignosed. But I think of my past, and how much I complained about every little thing ignoring all the good things I had and still have, and now my main focus will be (with the help of God, love ones, and you) to look at life as a beautiful present. Is it hard sometimes? Yes. But I am going to make an effort as I am hoping you will too. We'll be here to help you.

Good luck. And seek help if you need to. We'll be here too.

God Bless you.

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