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20 year old 3 people caregiver

Posts: 18
Joined: Oct 2010

Im 20 years old..in one year my life changed big time. Let me just do a drop down time line of everything i've gone through

June 10, 2010..Mom is diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer that spread to her liver and both lungs

October 27th, 2010...Father has a massive heart attack..Heart is in shock, had only 15 minutes and would of been dead. In intensive care for 15 days connected to tubes. Immediate surgery for the heart. Arteries blocked 99.9 percent. Told every day in intensive care, they were preparing the nurses at the hospital not to get attached to my father because they felt he was going to die.

December 18th.. Aunt is diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer

Feburary 8th 2011.. Dad survives heart attack but now is diagnosed with stage 4 Kidney cancer after having over 5 pints of fluid crushing his left lung..

April 27th
Aunt is almost NED tumors are shrinking
Dad is healthy eating correctly and going on chemo shortly has to wait for kidney surgery to heal
Mom has some growh just slight growth in liver tumors but new chemo and her lungs are stable the one prime tumor is now where to be found...

I've gone through college this whole time, work .....
Im 20 years old.........So anything is possible. Cancer is a Hard but im going to make sure my family gives it a fight it will never forget......... : )
To all the caregivers be strong....... we can do it! Believe me its hard but we will find a way

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

Just hugs.

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1566
Joined: Nov 2009

God bless you and keep you. May he give you the continued strength to carry on. You have done and are doing an excellent job. Keep up the great work. They could not being doing as well as they are without you! Keep us up to date.
Tina in Va

Posts: 18
Joined: Oct 2010

: ) Its hard but i try to get through each day one at a time. HUgs!

coping in CA
Posts: 20
Joined: May 2011

Keep up your strength. Be good to yourself, too. Thanks for sharing.

yv1214's picture
Posts: 72
Joined: Feb 2011

Since you have so many people to look after I wanted check in and see how you are doing.

Sending you positive thoughts and energy.


Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Holy crap! You are one tough 20 year old. Your family is very lucky to have you. Take care of yourself too; my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Mega hugs!

ButterflyLake's picture
Posts: 44
Joined: May 2011

Jengen: It IS hard, but there is always, always a way. I had the same kind of earthquake as you. Mom was diagnosed, then two months later, my aunt was diagnosed, then, the next month, my husband's grandma fell and hasn't been okay since. We had a constant stream of bad news for months---to the point that, for my family, the sentence, "I have news," meant "I have BAAAD news." It will stop eventually. Everything is temporary.

Your experience has probably made you more mature than people three times your age. Aside from getting to be there for your family, you will be a beacon for others throughout your life. That is a gift.

Hang in there!

jona187's picture
Posts: 74
Joined: Apr 2011

Wow, hang in there!!!!

It must take a very special person to do what you doing and i wish you the best!!!

Just checking in on how you are doing.

Posts: 131
Joined: May 2011

I lost my dad when I was 17 due to flu. I now must look after my young wife who has a stage 4 glioma. Very definitely anyone who has to look after someone with a cancer is a special person. You are one of those and I wish you all the best.

Karen82's picture
Posts: 42
Joined: Jun 2011

I don't know how you do three people. I am struggling just to take care of my mom. I have 3 kids and work some, too. I am having a hard time just keeping up with that. I am 29 years old. I am also a single mom at that, too. But hey, if you are only 20 and you do what you can do, you are a lifesaver to the rest of us. I think we all have the strength to do it. We just got to find it within ourselves.

Hugs and Best Wishes.

Posts: 35
Joined: May 2011

is trying to fit time in for yourself - but be sure you do. You have a great attitude which is great - but make sure that stress doesn't build up and come crashing down! Your family is very lucky to have you at their side -

I am the caregiver of my husband (stage IIIC melanoma) and my 30 year old brother (stage IV stomach cancer) and it can get overwhelming at times - I just make sure that when I "lose it", I post for support - and find out I'm not alone.

Keep the strength - you're an angel.

Posts: 131
Joined: May 2011

Yes very definitely a good idea to post when losing it. I am losing it at the moment and am gradually calming down after reading your comment. Cancer and caring for someone with it is the most thankless hardest task and emotionally laden task possible. I can't believe the level of my own emotions and some of the crazy ideas that come to mind like stuff it, just run off with someone and forget about it for a while. Definitely NOT a good idea but so so tempting.

angelyn's picture
Posts: 51
Joined: Jan 2011

Think we have ALL thought about running off. Or pulling up the covers over our heads and not coming out. Don't know why your post struck me as funny, but it did.

Posts: 131
Joined: May 2011

Just pulling the doona over the head may JUST work. Seriously, I have heavily counselled NOT to enter a possible rebound relationship for a good while as I seriously attractive and young. I am so dreadfully lonely the thought is exquisitely tempting. To have everything cut off in our marriage with no warning including communication is hard to bear when I see all the happy couples around the place having the time of their live and I and my wife must endure the unendurable. At least we aren't alone here amongst people who understand these challenges.

FaithLyons's picture
Posts: 21
Joined: Jul 2011

When I read your comment, I thought it sounded just like what I am going through!
I am 26 and I also look after 3 people who are going through alot of trying storms, and I just wanted to say your not alone, and we are here for ya!

Hold on to your faith, and take it step by step.

Your in my thoughts and prayers.

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