Today I REALLY hate cancer

Reading about John and Kerry today is just tooo much.
«1

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028
    Yup....
    Me, too!!!

    Kathi
  • Lilmiss82
    Lilmiss82 Member Posts: 257
    KathiM said:

    Yup....
    Me, too!!!

    Kathi

    couldn't agree more
    I'm so devastated:( I hate cancer!!
  • lizzydavis
    lizzydavis Member Posts: 893
    Lilmiss82 said:

    couldn't agree more
    I'm so devastated:( I hate cancer!!

    I am struggling with this too.
    I am struggling with this too.
    A very sad day.
  • TMac52
    TMac52 Member Posts: 352
    I hear ya!!!!
    Its a terrible day!!!
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625
    I second that
    I agree- life sucks big time right now! I start the day hearing about John passing away. My 15 yr old who is in charter school classes 2 days a week and on home study the other days wouldn't get out of bed by the time I had to leave to go get blood sucked out of me at the cancer center. Today is supposed to be her big school day- she has lots to do. She was doing better, but now won't take her depression meds again unless we force it down her throat & I couldn't get her up to take them before I had to leave. Then I got bloodwork done and my white counts were too low today- lousy- so I had to stay and get a neupogen shot and I'll now have to go back in for four more days in a row to get stupid shots (all because I talked my onc into experiementing and seeing how my counts do without neulasta). I could have just had that one shot, but no I had to go and mess things up- so now I have 5 shots 5 days in a row. Had to cancel my naturopathic appt for Thursday cause of having to go in and get shots. From there I go to the smog place to get our jeep smog checked for registration. While I was waiting, I went and had lunch across the street- then had a diarrhea attack in the fast food bathroom & was in pain and was humiliated if anyone else should walk into the bathroom (fortunately they didn't). It's been a "crappy" morning!
    I come home to find my daughter watching a movie instead of doing her work. I ranted at her at the top of my lungs for about 15 min, then came into the den and logged onto the computer to destress- grrr.....!
    Now more news on Kerry and he won't make it through the weekend. I feel like I have so much going on in my life that I'm responsible for that I don't even have time to dwell on my cancer. I think I can't even go do some of the natural treatments that my ND has recommended because it takes most of the day and my time isn't my own- I have to homeschool a 15 yr old who's out to bomb out of life and school right now. I can't do this and definitely don't need the added stress- but what is someone to do? I do what I have to do (& it really sucks big time right now). My husband is so stressed and overworked & his boss at his law firm just had a "talk" with him last week, telling him he needs to put in even more time at work if he wants to keep his job. Isn't that great- he doesn't have time to give me any support or help with anything and he's about ready to have a nervous break down himself over the stress. Hey- I'm the one with the cancer!! Who helps me????
    Ok- there's my venting and destress- sorry, everyone. I'll be okay again tomorrow.


    Lisa
  • Jaylo969
    Jaylo969 Member Posts: 824
    lisa42 said:

    I second that
    I agree- life sucks big time right now! I start the day hearing about John passing away. My 15 yr old who is in charter school classes 2 days a week and on home study the other days wouldn't get out of bed by the time I had to leave to go get blood sucked out of me at the cancer center. Today is supposed to be her big school day- she has lots to do. She was doing better, but now won't take her depression meds again unless we force it down her throat & I couldn't get her up to take them before I had to leave. Then I got bloodwork done and my white counts were too low today- lousy- so I had to stay and get a neupogen shot and I'll now have to go back in for four more days in a row to get stupid shots (all because I talked my onc into experiementing and seeing how my counts do without neulasta). I could have just had that one shot, but no I had to go and mess things up- so now I have 5 shots 5 days in a row. Had to cancel my naturopathic appt for Thursday cause of having to go in and get shots. From there I go to the smog place to get our jeep smog checked for registration. While I was waiting, I went and had lunch across the street- then had a diarrhea attack in the fast food bathroom & was in pain and was humiliated if anyone else should walk into the bathroom (fortunately they didn't). It's been a "crappy" morning!
    I come home to find my daughter watching a movie instead of doing her work. I ranted at her at the top of my lungs for about 15 min, then came into the den and logged onto the computer to destress- grrr.....!
    Now more news on Kerry and he won't make it through the weekend. I feel like I have so much going on in my life that I'm responsible for that I don't even have time to dwell on my cancer. I think I can't even go do some of the natural treatments that my ND has recommended because it takes most of the day and my time isn't my own- I have to homeschool a 15 yr old who's out to bomb out of life and school right now. I can't do this and definitely don't need the added stress- but what is someone to do? I do what I have to do (& it really sucks big time right now). My husband is so stressed and overworked & his boss at his law firm just had a "talk" with him last week, telling him he needs to put in even more time at work if he wants to keep his job. Isn't that great- he doesn't have time to give me any support or help with anything and he's about ready to have a nervous break down himself over the stress. Hey- I'm the one with the cancer!! Who helps me????
    Ok- there's my venting and destress- sorry, everyone. I'll be okay again tomorrow.


    Lisa

    Yep, me too
    It HAS been a real sucky day....

    I HATE cancer too!

    Lisa, I hope tomorrow brings you a much nicer, sunnier, more pleasant day. I don't see how you deal with all you do...I guess we all just do what we have to do, huh?

    peace & love to all of you...Pat
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    Man reading about John was bad enough
    ...but Kerry's post has finally made me well up. Hate this disease!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071
    lisa42 said:

    I second that
    I agree- life sucks big time right now! I start the day hearing about John passing away. My 15 yr old who is in charter school classes 2 days a week and on home study the other days wouldn't get out of bed by the time I had to leave to go get blood sucked out of me at the cancer center. Today is supposed to be her big school day- she has lots to do. She was doing better, but now won't take her depression meds again unless we force it down her throat & I couldn't get her up to take them before I had to leave. Then I got bloodwork done and my white counts were too low today- lousy- so I had to stay and get a neupogen shot and I'll now have to go back in for four more days in a row to get stupid shots (all because I talked my onc into experiementing and seeing how my counts do without neulasta). I could have just had that one shot, but no I had to go and mess things up- so now I have 5 shots 5 days in a row. Had to cancel my naturopathic appt for Thursday cause of having to go in and get shots. From there I go to the smog place to get our jeep smog checked for registration. While I was waiting, I went and had lunch across the street- then had a diarrhea attack in the fast food bathroom & was in pain and was humiliated if anyone else should walk into the bathroom (fortunately they didn't). It's been a "crappy" morning!
    I come home to find my daughter watching a movie instead of doing her work. I ranted at her at the top of my lungs for about 15 min, then came into the den and logged onto the computer to destress- grrr.....!
    Now more news on Kerry and he won't make it through the weekend. I feel like I have so much going on in my life that I'm responsible for that I don't even have time to dwell on my cancer. I think I can't even go do some of the natural treatments that my ND has recommended because it takes most of the day and my time isn't my own- I have to homeschool a 15 yr old who's out to bomb out of life and school right now. I can't do this and definitely don't need the added stress- but what is someone to do? I do what I have to do (& it really sucks big time right now). My husband is so stressed and overworked & his boss at his law firm just had a "talk" with him last week, telling him he needs to put in even more time at work if he wants to keep his job. Isn't that great- he doesn't have time to give me any support or help with anything and he's about ready to have a nervous break down himself over the stress. Hey- I'm the one with the cancer!! Who helps me????
    Ok- there's my venting and destress- sorry, everyone. I'll be okay again tomorrow.


    Lisa

    Lisa
    My dear friend hugs. I swear I know you love your children like anything, but I would do anything to still have my mother around. They may just be teenagers with depression, but this is not fair on you at all. Hugs will be praying for you, and you vent away.

    xx
  • HollyID
    HollyID Member Posts: 946
    I agree, Brooks...
    It's been almost more than I can take. With the passing of my brother just over a month ago and now John and Kerry.

    I'm just at a loss for words today, but you guys have the same thoughts.

    Blah.

    Lisa, I hope you have a better day tomorrow... and next week... and next month and next year.

    I hope we all do.

    Love you all,

    Holly
  • TxKayaker
    TxKayaker Member Posts: 176
    I'm with you it really sucks
    I'm with you it really sucks today
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331
    TxKayaker said:

    I'm with you it really sucks
    I'm with you it really sucks today

    Bad day for all of us !
    unfair,feel powerless!.
    Hope we got a better day sh...t!
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030
    pepebcn said:

    Bad day for all of us !
    unfair,feel powerless!.
    Hope we got a better day sh...t!

    Yeah, I'm thinking of
    Yeah, I'm thinking of everyone here and my scan tomorrow! It all ties together, doesn't it.

    Lisa, may be time for some tough love. I am texting you,
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238
    I ditto all of you. Sitting
    I ditto all of you. Sitting here with teary eyes after reading all of these and other posts. you all mean so much to me!

    Gail
  • Buckwirth
    Buckwirth Member Posts: 1,258
    Two years, one month ago
    http://csn.cancer.org/node/166207
  • ellamenno
    ellamenno Member Posts: 142 Member
    Buckwirth said:

    Two years, one month ago
    http://csn.cancer.org/node/166207

    Thanks Buck
    That was John... our Hero in the truest sense of the word.

    Peace, Laurie
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    Living with and without our friends

    Time becomes compressed here on the boards. Friendships are developed quickly, in part because of our mutual needs and in part because each of us has learned that life can change quickly, and we know now we and our loved ones are not immortal.

    Each time we open our arms to someone new here we know the risk. We willingly take it.

    We want each and every person to know that they are not alone. That regardless of the reason they are here, we will stand by them and help them all we can.

    If our love and compassion for each other could conquer cancer, it would not again exist in the world.

    Instead we are left with days like today, where sad news abounds. Our tears are shed for our friends and their loved ones. Our tears are shed for ourselves, as we rail against this disease and all it brings with it.

    And yet we are blessed. We have been able to be a part of each of their lives when they needed someone most, as they have been for us. Our mutual needs have given us the opportunity to span the globe. We have met and been a small but important part of the lives of many.

    Not so very many years ago, we each would have been left to fight alone, fearful for anyone to know of our disease. Today even if we never meet face to face, we have known the love and caring of so many.

    For those of our friends who have gone before us, for those who are nearing the end and for those of us left to carry on…

    I tell you each. You brought blessings to the lives of those you touched here. You will be missed but never forgotten. Your light shines because in the time of your own fight, you helped me with mine.

    Love to all our friends
  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    lisa42 said:

    I second that
    I agree- life sucks big time right now! I start the day hearing about John passing away. My 15 yr old who is in charter school classes 2 days a week and on home study the other days wouldn't get out of bed by the time I had to leave to go get blood sucked out of me at the cancer center. Today is supposed to be her big school day- she has lots to do. She was doing better, but now won't take her depression meds again unless we force it down her throat & I couldn't get her up to take them before I had to leave. Then I got bloodwork done and my white counts were too low today- lousy- so I had to stay and get a neupogen shot and I'll now have to go back in for four more days in a row to get stupid shots (all because I talked my onc into experiementing and seeing how my counts do without neulasta). I could have just had that one shot, but no I had to go and mess things up- so now I have 5 shots 5 days in a row. Had to cancel my naturopathic appt for Thursday cause of having to go in and get shots. From there I go to the smog place to get our jeep smog checked for registration. While I was waiting, I went and had lunch across the street- then had a diarrhea attack in the fast food bathroom & was in pain and was humiliated if anyone else should walk into the bathroom (fortunately they didn't). It's been a "crappy" morning!
    I come home to find my daughter watching a movie instead of doing her work. I ranted at her at the top of my lungs for about 15 min, then came into the den and logged onto the computer to destress- grrr.....!
    Now more news on Kerry and he won't make it through the weekend. I feel like I have so much going on in my life that I'm responsible for that I don't even have time to dwell on my cancer. I think I can't even go do some of the natural treatments that my ND has recommended because it takes most of the day and my time isn't my own- I have to homeschool a 15 yr old who's out to bomb out of life and school right now. I can't do this and definitely don't need the added stress- but what is someone to do? I do what I have to do (& it really sucks big time right now). My husband is so stressed and overworked & his boss at his law firm just had a "talk" with him last week, telling him he needs to put in even more time at work if he wants to keep his job. Isn't that great- he doesn't have time to give me any support or help with anything and he's about ready to have a nervous break down himself over the stress. Hey- I'm the one with the cancer!! Who helps me????
    Ok- there's my venting and destress- sorry, everyone. I'll be okay again tomorrow.


    Lisa

    Lisa- I have been there with
    Lisa- I have been there with 2 of my kids with a host of mental health issues and I also teach and work with homebound kids, many who are home due to not being able to function in the classroom. Words of encouragement- to take it a day at a time, set small goals and let her have choices and options, within reason of course. I would do things like stand over my sleeping child with her pills and chocolate milk and say, "take your pill right now and you can have 20 more mins to sleep". Do that enough, day in and day out and eventually they get it. Then it would be, "if you are up and in the shower in 10 mins you can enjoy this wonderful breakfast I made". And then on her every minute until she was in the shower. Eventually I would space out the "reward" to every other day- keeping a chart of course where they would earn various things. And it was a whole lot of work on my part! Felt like I was taking steps back, like aren't they suppose to get up on their own at age 17? But I found that pulling in on the reins tightly and forcing this massive structure on their lives was the way they learned how to get through things. They both made it through HS, my daughter though college and my son, well, not quite there yet, but he is gaining confidence.
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,715 Member
    Ditto
    This really stinks. I'm so sorry that this is going on. Just makes my heart break. Actually, can't even talk about it because they are very special people and my heart keeps breaking more and more.

    Kim
  • just4Brooks
    just4Brooks Member Posts: 980

    Living with and without our friends

    Time becomes compressed here on the boards. Friendships are developed quickly, in part because of our mutual needs and in part because each of us has learned that life can change quickly, and we know now we and our loved ones are not immortal.

    Each time we open our arms to someone new here we know the risk. We willingly take it.

    We want each and every person to know that they are not alone. That regardless of the reason they are here, we will stand by them and help them all we can.

    If our love and compassion for each other could conquer cancer, it would not again exist in the world.

    Instead we are left with days like today, where sad news abounds. Our tears are shed for our friends and their loved ones. Our tears are shed for ourselves, as we rail against this disease and all it brings with it.

    And yet we are blessed. We have been able to be a part of each of their lives when they needed someone most, as they have been for us. Our mutual needs have given us the opportunity to span the globe. We have met and been a small but important part of the lives of many.

    Not so very many years ago, we each would have been left to fight alone, fearful for anyone to know of our disease. Today even if we never meet face to face, we have known the love and caring of so many.

    For those of our friends who have gone before us, for those who are nearing the end and for those of us left to carry on…

    I tell you each. You brought blessings to the lives of those you touched here. You will be missed but never forgotten. Your light shines because in the time of your own fight, you helped me with mine.

    Love to all our friends

    Thank you everybody. You
    Thank you everybody. You have all made my day better by your posts. This board does some wonderful things.


    Brooks
  • ellamenno
    ellamenno Member Posts: 142 Member

    Living with and without our friends

    Time becomes compressed here on the boards. Friendships are developed quickly, in part because of our mutual needs and in part because each of us has learned that life can change quickly, and we know now we and our loved ones are not immortal.

    Each time we open our arms to someone new here we know the risk. We willingly take it.

    We want each and every person to know that they are not alone. That regardless of the reason they are here, we will stand by them and help them all we can.

    If our love and compassion for each other could conquer cancer, it would not again exist in the world.

    Instead we are left with days like today, where sad news abounds. Our tears are shed for our friends and their loved ones. Our tears are shed for ourselves, as we rail against this disease and all it brings with it.

    And yet we are blessed. We have been able to be a part of each of their lives when they needed someone most, as they have been for us. Our mutual needs have given us the opportunity to span the globe. We have met and been a small but important part of the lives of many.

    Not so very many years ago, we each would have been left to fight alone, fearful for anyone to know of our disease. Today even if we never meet face to face, we have known the love and caring of so many.

    For those of our friends who have gone before us, for those who are nearing the end and for those of us left to carry on…

    I tell you each. You brought blessings to the lives of those you touched here. You will be missed but never forgotten. Your light shines because in the time of your own fight, you helped me with mine.

    Love to all our friends

    Thank you Marie
    Your words are so beautiful...tears

    Peace,Laurie