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Today I REALLY hate cancer

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Reading about John and Kerry today is just tooo much.

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

Me, too!!!

Kathi

Lilmiss82's picture
Lilmiss82
Posts: 257
Joined: Dec 2009

I'm so devastated:( I hate cancer!!

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

I am struggling with this too.
A very sad day.

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

Its a terrible day!!!

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

I agree- life sucks big time right now! I start the day hearing about John passing away. My 15 yr old who is in charter school classes 2 days a week and on home study the other days wouldn't get out of bed by the time I had to leave to go get blood sucked out of me at the cancer center. Today is supposed to be her big school day- she has lots to do. She was doing better, but now won't take her depression meds again unless we force it down her throat & I couldn't get her up to take them before I had to leave. Then I got bloodwork done and my white counts were too low today- lousy- so I had to stay and get a neupogen shot and I'll now have to go back in for four more days in a row to get stupid shots (all because I talked my onc into experiementing and seeing how my counts do without neulasta). I could have just had that one shot, but no I had to go and mess things up- so now I have 5 shots 5 days in a row. Had to cancel my naturopathic appt for Thursday cause of having to go in and get shots. From there I go to the smog place to get our jeep smog checked for registration. While I was waiting, I went and had lunch across the street- then had a diarrhea attack in the fast food bathroom & was in pain and was humiliated if anyone else should walk into the bathroom (fortunately they didn't). It's been a "crappy" morning!
I come home to find my daughter watching a movie instead of doing her work. I ranted at her at the top of my lungs for about 15 min, then came into the den and logged onto the computer to destress- grrr.....!
Now more news on Kerry and he won't make it through the weekend. I feel like I have so much going on in my life that I'm responsible for that I don't even have time to dwell on my cancer. I think I can't even go do some of the natural treatments that my ND has recommended because it takes most of the day and my time isn't my own- I have to homeschool a 15 yr old who's out to bomb out of life and school right now. I can't do this and definitely don't need the added stress- but what is someone to do? I do what I have to do (& it really sucks big time right now). My husband is so stressed and overworked & his boss at his law firm just had a "talk" with him last week, telling him he needs to put in even more time at work if he wants to keep his job. Isn't that great- he doesn't have time to give me any support or help with anything and he's about ready to have a nervous break down himself over the stress. Hey- I'm the one with the cancer!! Who helps me????
Ok- there's my venting and destress- sorry, everyone. I'll be okay again tomorrow.

Lisa

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

It HAS been a real sucky day....

I HATE cancer too!

Lisa, I hope tomorrow brings you a much nicer, sunnier, more pleasant day. I don't see how you deal with all you do...I guess we all just do what we have to do, huh?

peace & love to all of you...Pat

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

My dear friend hugs. I swear I know you love your children like anything, but I would do anything to still have my mother around. They may just be teenagers with depression, but this is not fair on you at all. Hugs will be praying for you, and you vent away.

xx

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

Lisa- I have been there with 2 of my kids with a host of mental health issues and I also teach and work with homebound kids, many who are home due to not being able to function in the classroom. Words of encouragement- to take it a day at a time, set small goals and let her have choices and options, within reason of course. I would do things like stand over my sleeping child with her pills and chocolate milk and say, "take your pill right now and you can have 20 more mins to sleep". Do that enough, day in and day out and eventually they get it. Then it would be, "if you are up and in the shower in 10 mins you can enjoy this wonderful breakfast I made". And then on her every minute until she was in the shower. Eventually I would space out the "reward" to every other day- keeping a chart of course where they would earn various things. And it was a whole lot of work on my part! Felt like I was taking steps back, like aren't they suppose to get up on their own at age 17? But I found that pulling in on the reins tightly and forcing this massive structure on their lives was the way they learned how to get through things. They both made it through HS, my daughter though college and my son, well, not quite there yet, but he is gaining confidence.

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

love, Leslie

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

...but Kerry's post has finally made me well up. Hate this disease!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

It's been almost more than I can take. With the passing of my brother just over a month ago and now John and Kerry.

I'm just at a loss for words today, but you guys have the same thoughts.

Blah.

Lisa, I hope you have a better day tomorrow... and next week... and next month and next year.

I hope we all do.

Love you all,

Holly

TxKayaker's picture
TxKayaker
Posts: 177
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm with you it really sucks today

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

unfair,feel powerless!.
Hope we got a better day sh...t!

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Yeah, I'm thinking of everyone here and my scan tomorrow! It all ties together, doesn't it.

Lisa, may be time for some tough love. I am texting you,

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

I ditto all of you. Sitting here with teary eyes after reading all of these and other posts. you all mean so much to me!

Gail

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

http://csn.cancer.org/node/166207

ellamenno's picture
ellamenno
Posts: 145
Joined: Aug 2010

That was John... our Hero in the truest sense of the word.

Peace, Laurie

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks for posting this. I was not on the board when John came on + his two posts really helped fill in his story for me. He has been + always will be a huge inspiration for me.

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

a beautiful reminder from John of what's important about our life; which is why we all so loved John

all the best, Leslie

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3346
Joined: Jan 2010

Time becomes compressed here on the boards. Friendships are developed quickly, in part because of our mutual needs and in part because each of us has learned that life can change quickly, and we know now we and our loved ones are not immortal.

Each time we open our arms to someone new here we know the risk. We willingly take it.

We want each and every person to know that they are not alone. That regardless of the reason they are here, we will stand by them and help them all we can.

If our love and compassion for each other could conquer cancer, it would not again exist in the world.

Instead we are left with days like today, where sad news abounds. Our tears are shed for our friends and their loved ones. Our tears are shed for ourselves, as we rail against this disease and all it brings with it.

And yet we are blessed. We have been able to be a part of each of their lives when they needed someone most, as they have been for us. Our mutual needs have given us the opportunity to span the globe. We have met and been a small but important part of the lives of many.

Not so very many years ago, we each would have been left to fight alone, fearful for anyone to know of our disease. Today even if we never meet face to face, we have known the love and caring of so many.

For those of our friends who have gone before us, for those who are nearing the end and for those of us left to carry on…

I tell you each. You brought blessings to the lives of those you touched here. You will be missed but never forgotten. Your light shines because in the time of your own fight, you helped me with mine.

Love to all our friends

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

Thank you everybody. You have all made my day better by your posts. This board does some wonderful things.

Brooks

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Thank you Brooks for posting, Marie for your lovely way of wording things, & for the others who said kind words to me after my venting post. :)
Today is a new day & I feel much better today. I still hate cancer, though!!
I've been thinking about John and Kerry all day.

Lisa

ellamenno's picture
ellamenno
Posts: 145
Joined: Aug 2010

Your words are so beautiful...tears

Peace,Laurie

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

As I have said before...

At that very last breath, we stand alone. The only exception is that if during our lives we have taken people into our hearts....then, at that last breath, they all stand with us...embracing us in love and warmth. *smile*

Hugs, Kathi

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

I couldn't say what I'm feeling or thinking any better than you just did Marie. Thanks and peace to all here.

Leslie

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Perfectly beautiful!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6528
Joined: Feb 2009

This really stinks. I'm so sorry that this is going on. Just makes my heart break. Actually, can't even talk about it because they are very special people and my heart keeps breaking more and more.

Kim

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

That was two months before my diagnosis. What a man. Amazing. Thanks for the post.

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I was at chemo most of yesterday + came back to this bad news. I agree Brooks, I HATE CANCER. Yesterday was a bad day in our world.

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

OMG,yes,it is just too much.After I read these news today,my stomach started cramping immediately.It is too much.

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

OMG,yes,it is just too much.After I read these news today,my stomach started cramping immediately.It is too much.

462lt's picture
462lt
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2010

I was diagnosed a year ago and came here looking for answers and support. I am so sad that so many of the wonderful people that I have followed for the last year have not made it.My heart goes out to all the family and friends of all the wonderful people gone from this dreaded curse. God bless you all.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

we feel...Thank you sweetheart, that was gracefully and eloquently written and so true for all of us........Love, Hope, and Calm be with you........Clift

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Yeah. I can barely take all of it in. I hate it!

*hugs*
Gail

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

I HATE cancer EVERYDAY!!!

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Yesterday, I hated cancer, Today I hate cancer, Tomorrow I hate cancer even more.

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