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A letter to evil

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

To Cancer,

Because of you, I am angrier than I have been in a long time. I read the posts here, and the fear comes through in every one. Deservedly so. We are living it every day.
How many victims will be enough? How many tears have you watched? Does the fact that they burn make it even better for you?
Families abused by your cruelty,decimated by your unending torture.
You feed on fear, you thrive on pain and you hunt your prey from nurseries to nursing homes.
You play hide and seek in our bodies and laugh at us when we find you.

I hate you cancer, I hate what you do to us, our families,& friends .

You take and take and no matter how hard we fight you will win in the end. That is what I hate most, that evil keeps winning, and people keep suffering.

The fight to beat you is exhausting and never ending.
And the tears continue to burn.

Thank you, I feel better now.

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

Hugs!

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Your post is so well expressed and I have that same intensity,
especially for our friends cancer takes.

I am glad you feel better now, and this is the place to get these feelings off your chest and out of your head. I am sure they are better out than left in.

When my feelings are out, they can be managed and dwelt with. I have had to do this often and I think it the strength of our forum. I appreciated your sharing.

My approach has been to use expess similar feelings , some here in posts but then to channel that hate into an equally strong and positive emotion called hope.

Now how can we have hope while dieing you may ask ?

Whether we are NED or DEAD soon we all will die someday.

Hope for me comes from being loved.
Yes I hope for a loving everlasting life that transcends death.
I hope for a long life.
I hope for a good life.
I hope to share it with friends.

Yes our cancer may and often does kill us sooner than we want, but
its been proven the power of hope.
The power of the human spirit is far stronger.
Having an awe inspiring attitude like kerry ( old coote here )has reinforced my own strength in this regard. He is inspirational, if he could manage to type and I don't think he can,he would type

"ATTITUDE"

so I am sure my hate has been turned directly against my cancer and I have an attitude that is the secret to a positive well lived life. be it for an extra second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, century....

hugs,

Pete
ps I cannot wait to read a man search for meaning

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

I have always used writing to express something I found very funny or something that really ticked me off. I am glad you liked it.
As far as hope and attitude, you betcha! I will fight for the last second and pray with my last breath. In the meantime I plan to have the best time I possibly can!!! I am way too nosy to leave early. I gotta hang around to see how all these grandchildren turn out!!
God Bless, I am grateful for your friendship.
j

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

Yes you have it right.I have lost siblings,friends,and family to cancer.I am the only one still surviving.I HATE CANCER.I will keep fighting to the very end,untill then I will live every day as much as I can.Every chance I get I help anyone I can to fight cancer.I call it the living evil.Good luck in your fight.

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

Love your car. We have a 2004 modified vette. my husband wants a rod, but we have no room. so he is turning our golf cart into a camaro 2010! not quite the same, but it'll keep him occupied for awhile.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Thanks for saying it for all of us!

*hugs*
Gail

Esquared
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2011

I'm so sorry to hear that you passed away. Your cousin Tonya in NC said you lost the good fight. RIP.

laurettas
Posts: 372
Joined: May 2011

Are you saying that Judy passed away? If so, I am so very sorry.

Brenda Bricco
Posts: 579
Joined: Aug 2011

WHEN WILL IT BE ENOUGH???

christinecarl's picture
christinecarl
Posts: 545
Joined: Sep 2009

Amen

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

up!

Esquared
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2011

A person I know on Facebook copied "Judy"'s letter as her own note- and when i asked her about it and her cancer, she wrote, "Did you think I stole those words without asking JJ's mom for permission? Those words were my COUSINS who did not make it! My family is full of losses from cancer, and survivors as well. Shall I scan a copy of my BC count? Shall I record my surgery next week? Do you want my room number when I get there to send me flowers? Yes! Those words came from my cousin. Shall I give you my aunts email address and phone number so you can confirm? I asked my aunt for that privelage." So, I apologize if I misled anyone to think that Judy had passed away; Tonya plainly said that she had, though I suspect she isn't telling the whole truth. Having lost my own dad and uncle to cancer, I just wanted to reach out because I know how painful and heartbreaking it can be to loose loved ones when their battle is over.

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Jun 2010

Please help us out here, and try to be concise. The response above is even more confusing than the one before.

Thanks,

Blake

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

I don't understand what is going on here. I am alive and well. I wrote the letter to evil. I gave no one permission to copy as their own. If I am the jj referred to, it would be hard to ask my mom's permission. She passed in 1987

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Odd indeed, we're just glad to see that you're ok. :-)

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

Thanks, me too!

Esquared
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2011

First of all "jjaj133," I'm so happy to hear that you are alive and well. Secondly, Tonya M. Miller used your first post/Letter to Evil nearly word for word as her own Note on Facebook. Because she was a teammate of mine, I was confused to learn that she had cancer, and because I know she has used other information on line as her own in the past, I searched the passage and found that they originated with "jjaj13's." When I asked Tonya about it, she stated that her "cousin JJ" had passed away and... (you can read her excerpt above) was very aggressive with my inquiry. Long story short, I'm sorry to have brought all of you into this confusing drama, but I am all the more confused now as to why someone would pretend to either have such an awful disease- or if she isn't pretending to have cancer, I'm confused as to why she would lie and say that someone close to her wrote those words and passed away, when in fact "jjaj133" is not related to her and has (thankfully) proved her strength against her battle with cancer.

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

thanks for trying to clear this up. Glad she is your friend and not mine.
Judy

Esquared
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 2011

Well I hope she does have friends, because I'm not one of them anymore.

You take care of yourself, Judy, and enjoy those grandchildren of yours! I'm giving my mom her 14th(my first) this spring- even though she already has 7 great-grandchildren. ;) She just had a bout with melanoma, but for a 78 year old, she is doing great (she rode her bike to her follow-up appointment two weeks ago)! I think its all the 'grands' and 'greats' that keep her young. :)

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