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How did you handle your fear?

Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

I am extremely frightened at my mom's pending diagnosis, they're pretty sure it's cancer but are doing a biopsy.

I can't even type the details at what the doc found on the CT scan. I will breakdown.

This past week I haven't slept and literally shivering with fear for my mom. My mom seems to be handling it well and has just accepted her fate, she even tells me whatever the outcome, you have to be strong.

My world is turned upside. I feel lost, confused, and don't know what to do with myself.

I don't want to lose her but then I have no control over what is happening to her which is hard for me to accept. Am I going to feel this fear for the long haul every minute of the day? If so, I may go crazy. I can't spiral downward, my mom needs me.

Maybe I'm not so strong.

Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

It gets better. Please feel free to send me a PM if you need to talk.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

When my husband was first dx, I told him that it would be easier if it was me. He told me He didn't think he could handle it if it was me. He could have, but that was his way of letting me know that he understood how hard it was to be the caregiver. Fear is natural. We all feel it. We want to fix them, but we feel helpless and without control. Once you have the dx firmed up and a plan of action, it will be a bit easier. The unknown is the scariest. Waiting for tests results and a map of how you will move forward is really hard.

Cancer is no longer the death sentence it once was, however. New treatments and protocols are being used. Chemo is a little less destructive and debilitating. Many people are surviving cancer. Just go to a Relay for Life event and see all the elderly cancer survivors. Don't let that word strong scare you either. When the time comes, you will be surprised by the amount of strenghth you find. Being strong doesn't mean that you can't be afraid. It means that you do whatever you are called on to do. Tears, anger, and fear are not strangers to strong caregivers. Just hang in there. You are a loving daughter. It would be a little sad if you weren't concerned. Fay

Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

Meditation, prayer. Pep talks to encourage myself. I read inspiring stories. Surround yourself with positive people that strengthen you. Get rid of the negative critical people. Envision a good outcome. Breathe and release all negative energy while repeating something good that you are hoping for. Set small goals and achieve that goal.Talk to a friend that you trust, and pour your heart out.

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