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Desperately in need of a friend!

r2424243
Posts: 51
Joined: Feb 2011

My dad has stage 1V colon cancer. I cannot get him to join the site. He is too worried about hearing anything negative. He rarely leaves the house and does nothing but lay on the couch all day. His colon tumor is pretty far down in the rectum area so he constantly has a weird feeling and urge like it he has to go to the bathroom and is suffering from severe pain also. I read him some of your responses occasionally. He really likes to hear from people in his situation, he feels he is all alone! He is very scared and Im not even sure if he even knows the extent of his illness. All I know is he just keeps telling me he wants to hear nothing negative! I am asking if anyone of you would mind letting me have your phone number so my dad can call someone. He just turned 61 years old and is quite old fashioned so chatting is out of the question. I know it is alot to ask but I was hoping someone that can give him a positive outlook wouldnt mind "talking" to him. His name is Rick and I am Kim. If anyone is interested in this you can forward me your phone number to my email, bobnkim1018@yahoo.com so you dont have to post it online for the whole world to see. Or if you prefer, you can email me and I will send you my phone number to you if you prefer.

Thanks again for ALL the help!

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Hi Kim,

so sorry to hear about your dad.
your dads really lucky to have your love, just keep strong and give him a hug or two or three.
Also just relax, read and learn what you can hear and elsewhere.
You have least one new friend, reduce the number by one.

welcome aboard and post away,

Pete

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

you reply back to me with yours....I won't call your Dad, he'll have to call me...I have talked with a lot of people in my situation and let them know that I will speak with them at any time about anything, I have not heard back from anyone, so whether he wants to talk about it is his call, most people don't because it only brings on bad emotions...He will have to face these things in the future head on, its better to know what to expect than to wonder and worry...My situation seems to be the same as his, and now Im on the other side of it...I am stage 4 and it did metastisis to the lung, but Im done with that too..I fully expect to live to be 120, I will tell you or him if he calls me it will be honesty, I won't tell him anything unless he asks me to, and if he asks I will not lie or make it sound better than it is, whatever it is, But I can guarantee you and him one thing....He will feel better knowing all about whats to be expected, then he can make an attack...My cell# is coming to you through pm...also my email address........buzz

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Hi Buzz,

I am taking bookings for the 2100 CSN Colorectal forum re-union.

Are you in ?

Buzz its a great goal for a re-union 2100
lets do it.

Its a shame your in such a position of experience to answer questions.
your an angel. my only complaint is that you sit on fences high off the ground, and its dangerous. If you fall on my side I promise to catch you even if it gives me a hernia.

It would be tragic to beat stage4 and die falling off the fence. So be careful.
In starwars they say use the force, on my darkside I say "use the juice".

cheers,

Pete
PS I am going to miss the DEX

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Kim your dad is lucky to have you . I'm a caregiver its my husband who has stage 4 colon and liver cancer . I'm not sure if your dad would want to talk to me but if so send me pm massage and I will give him a call stay strong hugs Tina

r2424243
Posts: 51
Joined: Feb 2011

Im not sure how to post a private message to you but if you decide you want to send me a message, Id love to talk with you or have him speak with you!

r2424243
Posts: 51
Joined: Feb 2011

Oh and Im sorry to hear about your husband. I hope he is feeling ok. I will keep him in my prayers and pray that the healing comes soon!

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi Kim, You and your Dad can have soo many friends here on this board. There are many interesting and learning discussions. As far as negative goes, everything here is about the truth and we all have our own opinions. You should really stick around and keep posting and reading. Your Dad may eventually start asking you questions to post also.

Love and hugs, Gail

AncientTiger's picture
AncientTiger
Posts: 130
Joined: Mar 2011

I can picture you sitting there at the computer typing and reading away, trying to help your dad. Your dad is truly BLESSED to have a child like you Kim. Keep up the good fight and NEVER give up.

There's some that might want to sugar coat things to make someone feel better, but I think from what I'm reading here (I'm pretty new to the community as well), you're going to get the unvarnished TRUTH... which is a GOOD thing Kim.

You can gain a wealth of knowledge from this community, and the plethora of resources available on the net. My wife spent HOURS reading everything she could find about colon cancer while I was in the hospital, and she was constantly surprising me whenever the doctor was talking with us by popping in questions about this treatment or this condition. I think a LOT of what she researched was her way of dealing with the situation...she felt that she had to be doing SOMETHING to help. But the side effect was that she educated herself and felt fairly confident about knowing what to expect and what to look for.

Knowledge is POWER. It's also an EXCELLENT way to fight fear, as most of the fear we face is the unknown. Once you've gained that knowledge, and you know what options are available to your dad, and HE knows what can be done, and what to expect, then you might find that this isn't quite the behemoth monster you and he thought it was ;)

Pose any and all questions you and your dad have Kim... you've found one HELL of a good resource here... the voices of experience.

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

hi tigger,

You know tigger is a good omen, he always bounces back.
But if you hate tigger than I'll stick to ancienttiger. Its just you don't look that old.

Its easier to type than anciettiger. how old are you kids.
mine are keith 5 and melanie 9.

some of specialise in the unvarnished truth.

I loved your quote

"Knowledge is POWER. It's also an EXCELLENT way to fight fear"

cheers,

Pete

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lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Hi Kim,

I think it is terrific that you are helping your Dad. I know that is a great comfort to him at this difficult time.

This is my favorite group for support. I sign on several times a week and can always learn something and feel the love.

Before I found this site, I found others too which will gladly speak to your Dad. I have listed these in case you want to contact them. It was helpful for me too.

--- The Colon Cancer Alliance (CCA) is the oldest and largest national patient advocacy organization dedicated to ending the suffering caused by colorectal cancer. We will increase screening rates and survivorship by providing support and education and furthering research and advocacy efforts.
Contact Us

The Colon Cancer Alliance is managed by an experienced staff and a core of volunteer board members located around the country. Many CCA staff members have a personal understanding of colorectal cancer—as either a survivor or caregiver. Their experiences with the disease further their commitment to increasing prevention, raising awareness and providing support. CCA Toll Free Helpline --- (877) 422-2030

------- Cancer Hope Network - 1-800-552-4366

-----Cancer Hope Network is a non-profit organization that provides free and confidential one-on-one support to cancer patients and their families. As our core offering, we match cancer patients or family members with trained volunteers who have themselves undergone and recovered from a similar cancer experience.

----If you are a patient or family member of a patient, we encourage you to register in our community. If you would like to be matched with a Support Volunteer, call 800-552-4366 or submit your match request online.

For patients, professionals and volunteers we offer a secured social network where people who are affected by cancer can exchange experiences and share thoughts. In short, we strive to make a difference in their fight against cancer using every means possible. We rely heavily on people like yourself to help spread the word and make our community relevant.

--- We help anyone affected by cancer — whether you have cancer or are a caregiver, family member or friend of someone diagnosed.
We help you understand your options, what to expect and what questions to ask.

--------And we offer one-on-one support all along the way.
Contact LIVESTRONG at 855.220.7777 or online to get free, confidential support for anyone affected by cancer.

I just thought I would give you this information too. It doesn't hurt to have several support areas.

Please keep us posted on your Dad and let us know how we can help.

Hugs,
Lizzy

AncientTiger's picture
AncientTiger
Posts: 130
Joined: Mar 2011

well.... within REASON, Pete. LOL

My oldest girl is 15, middle girl is 10 and my little'un is 5.

Just in case you were scratching your head over it... no I'm not that old (I turn 42 this coming April)... AncientTiger is actually a tribute to one of the five original Chinese martial arts, Tiger, perfected by the Shaolin Monks. The founding master of the style of Karate-Do that I studied years ago travelled to china to observe and study the Shaolin, then returned home to Okinawa to form Shorin-Ryu (the Japanese pronounce Shaolin, literally Shorin). So, an Ancient art, formed from Tiger... AncientTiger (I also REALLY dig Tigers).

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

anciettiiger

I'll keep tigger in reserve if you seem like you need a boost.

your pretty young, I am on old 44. lol
the martial arts sounds cool.
you have a lovelly family. I always wanted a 3rd kid but the radiation kind of got in the way. I am grateful for my boy and girl.

Pete

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