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Hospice care and beyond

jeani13's picture
jeani13
Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2011

The time has come after a 2 year battle to think of comfort and spirituality. My husband is brave and he fought all the way, but injecting chemo into his spinal fluid with not much of a prognosis has left us with welcoming hospice care. life is so strange and I am so sad, but I know I have helped him through this battle. After my husband was diagnosed with a Metastasis tumor in the brain in April 2009 and his primary site was small tumor on the right lung. He went through brain surgery to remove the tumor. He received 25 whole brain radiation treatments and 30 on his chest and 7 rounds of chem.

He was lucky and in remission for approximately 1 year, saw his oldest daughter get married and his youngest graduate from Catherine McAuley High School. In October 2010 he started to complain about back pain, but we thought it was old injuries acting up. Finally on Christmas Eve 2010 after 2 weeks of excruciating pain he allowed me to take him to the emergency room. He was diagnosed with a mass on his spine, in that 2 week period he loss his ability to walk without assistance, he needed a walker, he has had many falls and he had another 16 rounds of radiation.

He appeared to be responding, but he quickly loss all ability to walk or stand without major assistance. Needs a Wheel chair, walker or major assistance from family. Last Wednesday he went into surgery to get a procedure called Vertebroplasty and have a medaport for pain inserted in his chest.

Right now he sleeps all the time, loss of appetite but still eats, pain (controlled now) in legs, ankles and back. Suffering from incontinence, slight confusion, exhaustion.

We talked to his Oncologist today to see what the plan is, hospice was what we decided would be the next best step, he has cancer cells in his spinal fluid. I am sad and will miss the man I was married to for 32 years. Looking for prayers and comfort during the next few weeks, months.....Whatever God has planned for him I will be here to assist.

Jeani

angelyn's picture
angelyn
Posts: 51
Joined: Jan 2011

Jeani-
I am so sorry about your husband and I can barely imagine what you are going through. I will pray for you, your husband and family and hope that you can find the strength for the days ahead. Please know that I am thinking of you.
Angie

jeani13's picture
jeani13
Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2011

Angie

Thanks for the prayers. God is now in charge, but I guess he always was.

grannysb
Posts: 21
Joined: Dec 2010

Yes God has been in control from the beginning. I am a hospice nurse and a cancer survior of 25 yrs and now a newly diagnosed cancer in my body. I feel like I have been in and out up and down........ My prayers are for peace for you both.

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

It breaks my heart to see yet another loving couple going through this! Yes, dear one, you both have my prayers and support.

I lost my beloved husband, of almost 30 years, this past December. He, too, fought the battle bravely. In the end, it was God's will to end his suffering and bring him peace.

May a thousand angels surround you, him and your family through this difficult time. May they bring you peace and comfort.

Will keep you in my prayers.

Lucy

jeani13's picture
jeani13
Posts: 9
Joined: Mar 2011

Lucy

I am sorry for your loss, I was able to barely get my husband through this last christmas. We brought him to the emergency room the Wednesday before christmas but he signed out AMA. We had to take him to the emergency room Christmas night. His back pain was so severe but I think he felt this might be his last christmas. Glad he was home.....

Jeani

lekkerone
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2011

I pray for peace for you and your husband. Take care and don't forget to look after yourself as you watch over your husband.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Jeani,
Sorry for what you're going through. At least your hubby is here 2 years after his diagnosis. My husband started out with a back ache in Aug. 2009. Just figured that he did too much yard work in the summer. Well it kept getting worse and he finally went to the doctor in Dec. The had him go for a scan which showed 2 fractures in his lower spine. We had a nice Christmas and he had another appt in January with an onocologist. He ordered a CT scan again which had gotten worse. So he said he must have a tumor someplace in his body. Well after more tests, they discovered, yup, he had a tumor in his lung. And also lesions in his brain. He had 2 weeks of radiation every day on his spine & brain which showed good results. Then he started chemo. He had one treatment of 3 chemos one of which was AVASTIN. Seemed okay for awhile. Then he started coughing up blood, so before his next chemo they did another scan. Everything was looking good, but they didn't give him Avastin in the next treatment cause that was causing the problem of coughing up blood. Well after the chemo he just got worse and died on March 25, 2010. So I only had him for 2 months after his diagnosis. We were married 46 years. He hemmorraged from a rare side effect from Avastin and died. It was horrible.
I hope your husband is okay and I'll say a prayer that he doesn't suffer.
Please be strong and let him know how much you love him. Carole

NayPaul's picture
NayPaul
Posts: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

Sounds like u have done everything possible so thatyour husband has dignity, peace and comfort. Surely you are sad, but don't be too put off when u also have moments of peaceand comfort. As u have given them to your husband, u may find them from time time on the rest of this journey... embrace them, do not feel guilty when u have them, those r what give the strength to make this.

chad76's picture
chad76
Posts: 52
Joined: Jun 2010

You are both in my thoughts and prayers!

mrsbotch
Posts: 377
Joined: Oct 2010

I know how you are feeling. I lost my husband to Esophageal cancer 3 weeks ago. We had been married for 27 years and I love that man dearly. Hospice will be a greta help to you as it was to us but The loss you will feel is tremendous. Whatever you want to say to your husband please do it now. I have no regrets but I just wish I had one more day to tell him how much I love him.

You are in my heart

barb

karenbeth's picture
karenbeth
Posts: 194
Joined: Sep 2010

...That is exactly what keeps going through my mind. I am sorry to hear about your husband. I am glad he was in reemission for a while and was able to share in important life experiences with his family. You will be in my thoughts. My husband just started with hospice, too after an 8 month struggle.

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