Open Letter to the Kindred Spirits...
I have been a member of this online family since Spring, 2003. As you might imagine, I have read about and have been a part of the lives of untold numbers of posters, both here and in chat. And they in turn are part of mine.
For the MOST part, we are indeed who we say we are...brothers and sister doing battle with the beast, as well as caregivers, best friends and co-workers of warriors. The cancers seem to be about as diverse as the people who find their way to the ACS. With cancer and with personalities, just when we think we have heard it all, up pops another one!
Now and again, we are joined by Spirits who are not so Kindred. I have had my heart broken by the death of some people on the boards only to find out these posters didn't exist at all! Well, of course they existed, but NOT as warriors, or survivors, or any of the honest reasons most of us come to the boards/chat. I cannot begin to imagine the minds and hearts of those who would seek us out and pretend they have cancer! I have always maintained that they are indeed sicker than any of us facing surgery, chemo, or loss of life...
When this happens, there is always a negative ripple-effect. The newer one are often the ones who are affected the most. They wonder if they have come to the right place, and some opt to leave this nurturing, empathetic group of amazing people.
The older ones here understandably have a "Once bitten, twice shy" attitude...none of us wants to be suckered in by those among us whos posts cause us to raise the proverbial red flag.
IF there are any imposters among us~SHAME ON YOU! I implore any of the newer ones not to leave us, but to ride any of the storms though...this place, and we ourselves are worth it!
Many of you know how many times I have likened this place to 7th grade honmeroom...we come in daily, we know who the smart ones are, the fun ones, the shy ones, the means ones, etc etc. We acknowledge the group, and hang with our friends!
If any of you has a concern about anyone here on the boards, please contact Greta, our site administrator! Greta is a wonderful woman, with the un-enviable task of keeping us not just safe, but happy on the boards as well!
I am not accusing anyone...but the concerns affect all of us~ and I love you!!!
Hugs,
Chen♥
Comments
-
I guess I'm niave
I was so upset by canjuncutie because I was just about to start rads (now am 14 done out of 19) that it took me a while to want to come back to the boards...never thought anyone could be so heartless and cruel.
I haven't been caught up by any of the drama--when I go back to through the threads I can see the similarities, the phrasing, the repeated apparently negative questions, but I never considered it until seeing this post.
I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I did some searching and found out canjun's real name and place that she used to work--SICK, SICK, SICK is my only thought.
I also saw a very self-serving post about Polar caps which was removed before I could respond and I was so glad.
I must protect myself. My husband doesn't "approve" of the time I spend on this board because of how upset I have gotten. Perhaps he is correct. I'm just not sure what to think anymore.
JoAnn0 -
(((((((hugs)))))) JoAnn!joannstar said:I guess I'm niave
I was so upset by canjuncutie because I was just about to start rads (now am 14 done out of 19) that it took me a while to want to come back to the boards...never thought anyone could be so heartless and cruel.
I haven't been caught up by any of the drama--when I go back to through the threads I can see the similarities, the phrasing, the repeated apparently negative questions, but I never considered it until seeing this post.
I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I did some searching and found out canjun's real name and place that she used to work--SICK, SICK, SICK is my only thought.
I also saw a very self-serving post about Polar caps which was removed before I could respond and I was so glad.
I must protect myself. My husband doesn't "approve" of the time I spend on this board because of how upset I have gotten. Perhaps he is correct. I'm just not sure what to think anymore.
JoAnn
(((((((hugs)))))) JoAnn! Truly the very, very few who upset us pale in comparison to the wealth of love, sensitivity, fellow feeling and true friendship we find here. I have a Big Life outside of cancer and the ACS~ there is no way on earth that I would still be here since 2003 if the good didn't outweigh the bad! I am not a glutton for punishment~quite the opposite, actually! I have learned to have a "garbage in garbage out" attitude!
When you consider how many THOUSANDS of postsing we have here on the BC boards alone, you can be comforted to know that for the most part, we are all who we say we are! And you won't find a better group anywhere!!!!
Hugs,
Chen
PS...Polar Caps? As in global warming?? I didn't see that one! And it's gone? It must have been a doozy! LOL0 -
The True Purpose Of This Boardchenheart said:(((((((hugs)))))) JoAnn!
(((((((hugs)))))) JoAnn! Truly the very, very few who upset us pale in comparison to the wealth of love, sensitivity, fellow feeling and true friendship we find here. I have a Big Life outside of cancer and the ACS~ there is no way on earth that I would still be here since 2003 if the good didn't outweigh the bad! I am not a glutton for punishment~quite the opposite, actually! I have learned to have a "garbage in garbage out" attitude!
When you consider how many THOUSANDS of postsing we have here on the BC boards alone, you can be comforted to know that for the most part, we are all who we say we are! And you won't find a better group anywhere!!!!
Hugs,
Chen
PS...Polar Caps? As in global warming?? I didn't see that one! And it's gone? It must have been a doozy! LOL
Chen, i don't usually jump in when these types of discussions take place, but I must say that shortly after I joined the boards was when the young lady posted that she was all alone, in college, no family who cared, and was undergoing treatment on her own. I fell into the multitude of concerned bc survivors who offered all I could to help her get through the treatment, and offered as much comfort as one could on an internet connection. When her deceipt was discovered, it took all I could to stay around and wait to be "dooped" again. HOWEVER, how glad I am that this one individual didn't ruin the experience of getting to know so many others who were truly in need of support, and who were often on the boards late at night because they just needed someone to say a kind word. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I had left the board before having the priviledged experience to meet Moopy and Aortus, and supported them in her fight. When there are people out there who need our help, someone on here is willing to give all they can to make the journey easier. For those who use this site as a playground, all I can say is there are lots of other boards that would delight in having you join them. If someone truly is here for the right reasons, we all welcome you. If you aren't here to be equally a friend as well as a survivor, then you need to seek boards who fulfill your needs. We are a serious bunch here when it comes to fighting cancer, and anyone not wanting to be a helper is likely to be found out sooner or later. As far as Florida_sunshine is concerned, if you are truly needing help, you have found the right place. If you are playing games, thare is a big world out there....go find people who enjoy your form of fun. We are happy being here. Good luck, Judy0 -
the whole wide world
The world is full of different types of personalities. A public discussion board is bound to have some people who aren't what they seem. What I've found works for me is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and if I think someone is pulling my leg, I don't get emotionally involved with what they are saying. If I can help someone else it is worth sticking around.
Hugs to all.0 -
Great philosophyMarcia527 said:the whole wide world
The world is full of different types of personalities. A public discussion board is bound to have some people who aren't what they seem. What I've found works for me is to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and if I think someone is pulling my leg, I don't get emotionally involved with what they are saying. If I can help someone else it is worth sticking around.
Hugs to all.
Marcia, you are always the one who speaks from your deep soul. I appreciate your words, and certainly feel the same. Just don't get involved if you feel uncomfortable. Good advice! Hugs, Judy
P.S. You have pulled me out of the cellar more than once....thank you for being you.0 -
I love how Marcia gets rightcreampuff91344 said:Great philosophy
Marcia, you are always the one who speaks from your deep soul. I appreciate your words, and certainly feel the same. Just don't get involved if you feel uncomfortable. Good advice! Hugs, Judy
P.S. You have pulled me out of the cellar more than once....thank you for being you.
I love how Marcia gets right to the heart of the matter~ it took me a million paragraphs and much hemming and hawing to say what Marcia did in mere words!
I just want all who need this venue to benefit from it....
Hate the Drama, we are fighting for our lives here!
Chen♥0 -
I tend to do what marciachenheart said:I love how Marcia gets right
I love how Marcia gets right to the heart of the matter~ it took me a million paragraphs and much hemming and hawing to say what Marcia did in mere words!
I just want all who need this venue to benefit from it....
Hate the Drama, we are fighting for our lives here!
Chen♥
I tend to do what marcia says, but I dont always "see" that people are not on the up and up at first. I have stuck around to help, but simply dont have the energy to reach out to those who just want to troll. Ultimately I think people have to live with themselves, and Karma can be a b@#ch.0 -
The benefits
The benefits of this board for me have far outweighed the negatives and I just try to help in some small way if I can. Thank you to all the honest and caring members. I may not post all the time of even visit this site every day but I care about anyone with dealing with cancer.0 -
I don't think any of uscarkris said:I tend to do what marcia
I tend to do what marcia says, but I dont always "see" that people are not on the up and up at first. I have stuck around to help, but simply dont have the energy to reach out to those who just want to troll. Ultimately I think people have to live with themselves, and Karma can be a b@#ch.
I don't think any of us 'see' it at first. No one has the energy to reach out to everyone. We just do what we can. Some of us take breaks from time to time. It's ok.
Hugs to all.0 -
Judy...creampuff91344 said:The True Purpose Of This Board
Chen, i don't usually jump in when these types of discussions take place, but I must say that shortly after I joined the boards was when the young lady posted that she was all alone, in college, no family who cared, and was undergoing treatment on her own. I fell into the multitude of concerned bc survivors who offered all I could to help her get through the treatment, and offered as much comfort as one could on an internet connection. When her deceipt was discovered, it took all I could to stay around and wait to be "dooped" again. HOWEVER, how glad I am that this one individual didn't ruin the experience of getting to know so many others who were truly in need of support, and who were often on the boards late at night because they just needed someone to say a kind word. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I had left the board before having the priviledged experience to meet Moopy and Aortus, and supported them in her fight. When there are people out there who need our help, someone on here is willing to give all they can to make the journey easier. For those who use this site as a playground, all I can say is there are lots of other boards that would delight in having you join them. If someone truly is here for the right reasons, we all welcome you. If you aren't here to be equally a friend as well as a survivor, then you need to seek boards who fulfill your needs. We are a serious bunch here when it comes to fighting cancer, and anyone not wanting to be a helper is likely to be found out sooner or later. As far as Florida_sunshine is concerned, if you are truly needing help, you have found the right place. If you are playing games, thare is a big world out there....go find people who enjoy your form of fun. We are happy being here. Good luck, Judy
I'm so glad you didn't leave the board after the KOURTNEE incident, and I can guarantee you that Moopy felt exactly the same way.
You hit the nail right on the head when you say that if someone is here for the right reasons, she (or he) will be welcomed and receive all the help that the community can give, with no exceptions. And if not... well, also like you say, they can go play elsewhere.
Love,
Joe0 -
OMIGOSH!!!
I just got done reading this entire thread, thinking to myself: Wow! What the heck is going on? What have I been missing? Sheesh!
When someone/something doesn't seem "quite right"... Or, their posts simply don't make any sense, seem genuine... 99.9% of the time, I choose to simply not get involved (like others have already stated here). Because after almost two years membership, a few - very, very few - "bad apples"/"false posters" have come, and gone. Yes, it's a bit of a learning curve for newer members. And, it's extremely unfortunate.
Initially, I was simply going to post a "thank you/well said" message to Chen. But, when I scrolled back up to the top of the thread...
OMIGOSH!!! Someone FLAGGED Chen's post?!? CHEN's?!? I repeat: CHEN's?!?!? Whoever you are - SHAME ON YOU! Whoever you are - you most certainly do NOT belong here. I repeat: SHAME ON YOU!!! If you are playing some sort of darkly sick game, while PREYING on cancer patients and survivors - you need professional mental health treatment.
Whoever you are, I dare you: go right ahead - flag mine now, too. It would be a first. I trust and have complete faith that Greta and her colleagues will soon rectify this situation.
Shame on you.0 -
All gone! Whew!Christmas Girl said:OMIGOSH!!!
I just got done reading this entire thread, thinking to myself: Wow! What the heck is going on? What have I been missing? Sheesh!
When someone/something doesn't seem "quite right"... Or, their posts simply don't make any sense, seem genuine... 99.9% of the time, I choose to simply not get involved (like others have already stated here). Because after almost two years membership, a few - very, very few - "bad apples"/"false posters" have come, and gone. Yes, it's a bit of a learning curve for newer members. And, it's extremely unfortunate.
Initially, I was simply going to post a "thank you/well said" message to Chen. But, when I scrolled back up to the top of the thread...
OMIGOSH!!! Someone FLAGGED Chen's post?!? CHEN's?!? I repeat: CHEN's?!?!? Whoever you are - SHAME ON YOU! Whoever you are - you most certainly do NOT belong here. I repeat: SHAME ON YOU!!! If you are playing some sort of darkly sick game, while PREYING on cancer patients and survivors - you need professional mental health treatment.
Whoever you are, I dare you: go right ahead - flag mine now, too. It would be a first. I trust and have complete faith that Greta and her colleagues will soon rectify this situation.
Shame on you.
And that is what I find comforting about CSN...Greta and others keep a watchful eye.
The thing that continues to puzzle me is why some people feel the need to keep poking into this site when it's obvious that they are only interested in stirring up trouble. And then, when they are removed, they play the victim and 'can't understand'....hummm...
I have been on CSN for over 5 years. I've seen plenty. And this is the one thing that I just can't understand...this is a place to share, and be nurturing...NOT to be hurtful! Sure, we have our differences...but come on, we are all adults...and sharing the same road in our lives...
My 2 cents (or 1 Euro cent....lol)
Dutch knuffels, Kathi0 -
Thanks Chen
Thanks Chen for stepping out there and calling this now removed person's bluff and saving us yet again. I am glad her posts are now gone from this thread. That person is obviously so mentally ill and it is sad that she tries to prey on the pain of others and is so needy herself in other ways. I pray for her mental health and I also pray she stays away from this site for good. If you are new here, don't shy away yet. Most of us read the comments for a long time before we ever posted once and then learned to trust the good advice and ideas. The best thing is that we get to pick and choose what we do with those ideas and pick what fits our situation with BC.0 -
I don't understand whyCR1954 said:Greta....
Greta PM'd me to say that she has taken care of it. Thank you Greta!
Now, let's just hope that she (canjuncutie, angora, florida_sunshine) has moved on for good!
CR
I don't understand why anyone would do something like this. They have to be very sick (and not with cancer). Thanks everyone for calling her bluff.
Joyce0 -
Expressing gratitude...CR1954 said:Greta....
Greta PM'd me to say that she has taken care of it. Thank you Greta!
Now, let's just hope that she (canjuncutie, angora, florida_sunshine) has moved on for good!
CR
Thank you, Greta. For ALL you & your colleagues do.
Kind regards, Susan0 -
Thank you aysemari
I want to thank aysemari for having the courage yesterday to be the first one who went out on a limg and called the troll a troll. yes the troll would have outed tiself eventually but her challenge brought it on quicker than it would have been had she not.
Susan0 -
Yes!Rague said:Thank you aysemari
I want to thank aysemari for having the courage yesterday to be the first one who went out on a limg and called the troll a troll. yes the troll would have outed tiself eventually but her challenge brought it on quicker than it would have been had she not.
Susan
I second that Susan.
I'm sure it saved a lot of heartache and drama (for me if not for anyone else)!
JoAnn0
Discussion Boards
- All Discussion Boards
- 6 CSN Information
- 6 Welcome to CSN
- 121.2K Cancer specific
- 2.8K Anal Cancer
- 440 Bladder Cancer
- 306 Bone Cancers
- 1.6K Brain Cancer
- 28.4K Breast Cancer
- 391 Childhood Cancers
- 27.9K Colorectal Cancer
- 4.6K Esophageal Cancer
- 1.2K Gynecological Cancers (other than ovarian and uterine)
- 12.9K Head and Neck Cancer
- 6.3K Kidney Cancer
- 666 Leukemia
- 789 Liver Cancer
- 4.1K Lung Cancer
- 5.1K Lymphoma (Hodgkin and Non-Hodgkin)
- 235 Multiple Myeloma
- 7.1K Ovarian Cancer
- 53 Pancreatic Cancer
- 486 Peritoneal Cancer
- 5.3K Prostate Cancer
- 1.2K Rare and Other Cancers
- 532 Sarcoma
- 718 Skin Cancer
- 647 Stomach Cancer
- 190 Testicular Cancer
- 1.5K Thyroid Cancer
- 5.8K Uterine/Endometrial Cancer
- 6.3K Lifestyle Discussion Boards