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Weaving a Few Threads on a Sleepless Night

Rookerbird's picture
Posts: 100
Joined: Feb 2011

Last week, three people I know died. Sarah, a 28-year old newlywed (sarcoma); Max, my family doctor of 50 years; and Kara, a 45-year old neighbor, who accidentally drowned in her backyard pool. Kara was in her workout clothes, early AM, evidently cleaning something on the patio, and fell into the icy-cold water. Her teenage son found her in the pool.

What a reminder that each day is a GIFT! No matter my prognosis with ovarian and uterine cancer, anything else could end my life today.

I've also been stewing about my prognosis, pondering what more I could do to enhance my health. I've reviewed the threads on naturopathy and supplemental/alternative treatments closely. Reading all the opinions, the checklists, the shopping lists, the additional appointments for a naturopath, much less the budget involved...it overwhelms me. I start looking at the organic broccoli I'm eating, wondering if I should be eating brussel sprouts. More water, or fresh carrot juice? Choices, choices, choices...stressful.

Lifestyle choices contribute to SO many preventable deaths. But my friends' deaths last week remind me people also die from other causes. And I did not get ovarian cancer because of my lifestyle.

My loved ones and I are given the same 24 hours in a day. Our individual choices for the hours we are given are SO personal and unique. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same? In the end, how long we live is far less important than how richly and lovingly we live.

TODAY is what I am given. A proverb says "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I'll feel more joy and peace TODAY, if I can focus on relationships instead of myself. And, it's so trite, but laughter IS the best medicine.

Thanks for listening. Verbalizing my swirling personal thoughts and sadness about my friends' deaths will hopefully help me push through a sleepless night. Wishing each of you a joy-filled day!

Posts: 1995
Joined: May 2003

Thank you so much for your 'words of wisdom' this morning. While I personally try to eat, do, choose, etc. what I believe will help me in this on-going fight, the bottom line is it is all in God's hands. He enables and gives me strength to do what I need to do, as the need arises! We must walk in the knowledge that He is our strength and loves us so deeply, no matter what our outside circumstances may appear to be. That gives me the Hope to see through each day, each moment. And, like you, there is so much going on around me that I realize every moment is a gift. Life can end in a flash of a second.

I am so sorry to hear of the losses you have had to bear in these few days. I send prayers to you and all the loved ones of those that have been lost. I can relate to the 'sleepless' nights, and yet it's the quiet moments that allow me to reflect and be thankful. So even in the sleepless nights, there is still peace and hope and love.


zinaida's picture
Posts: 223
Joined: Oct 2007

Hi, Rookebird! Thank you for your post. I feel very sad about yours frends' death. Your personal thoughts about life and death remine me my thoughts. I very much agry with you about love people around you and let them know how much I love them; enjoy every day of life: the birds, the flowers, the sun shine, the grandkids smile and much more! Love, Zina. :)

lindaprocopio's picture
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

I can see that you're coming to a good place where you can take refuge during this crazy journey. Facing one's own mortality is something most of mankind seems to avoid avidly, but a reality that we with cancer have no choice but to embrace if we are to make our peace with this disease. The future holds the inevitability and universiality of death for all living things. Once that truth sinks in and you realize it's not just YOU, not just those of us with cancer, you can stop torturing yourself with the unfairness of it all, and settle into a happier place in the 'now'.

Hissy_Fitz's picture
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sep 2009

Absolutely! Yesterday is lost, we cannot change it; tomorrow is not a promise. All we have for sure is today....these 24 hours.


Mum2bellaandwilliam's picture
Posts: 414
Joined: Oct 2010

2 weeks ago , I had a terrible week.
first of all a friend of friend lost her 4 month old baby, we had also found out that day mums first line treatment had not worked, and it put it into perspective for me , although i was terribly upset for my mum, the death of a baby made my news seem insignificant.
We also found out a dear freind of ours dad has got skin cancer on his face.
Then my friend who I mentioned above , her kitten got run over.
It makes you realise that we are not the only ones who are going through a bloody tough time , and makes we must be grateful for every single day.

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