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1st post- Hashimotos, TT, RAI and scan ...vent ... fiance' left me and baby ...

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2011


16 yrs ago diagnosed with hashimotos- scan/biopsy- etc. Unfortunatley could not put me on meds- as swing from hypo/hyper- HELL!

fast forward- had baby- OB noticed lumps- which knew I had but was told less chance cancer with HASHIMOTOS (not true I now find out)- have U/s and then see endo who sends me to surgeon- takes it out. NOW finds two tumors- follicular variant- architecture- follicular- partially encapsulated and capsular involvement. Also two suspicious lymph nodes- negative.

Fiance was to "watch" baby so I could have RAI/WBS- but said he couldnt get vacation for 4 months. (ON holiday) I was cooking for his friends/family who were about to arrive and he went off on me for getting drops water on his kitchen table. (He had asked me to go away that day- to a special place of ours ... as this holiday date was a special anniversary of sorts- baby girl bday who died- and I so needed a vacation- and then he invited people over.) About to cry as write this. Me and baby went to park that day- came back- he wouldnt let us in. He is drunk. Proceeded to kick us out of house -with no money-diapers- nothing. Said I embarassed him by going to park- even though he was screaming in my ear- trying to unhook new baby in tummy pouch. (He is a DJ and I used to do karaoke for him- which couldnt as was bedridden with baby- then surgery- sick- unable to sing- hard to speak.) WE stayed at a hotel - as had moved to that state to be with him- and family put mony in my bank acct. I attempted to get me/babys things- wouldnt let me. Police tried to get me in women's shelter- full. Stayed at hotel. Flew out next day.

SO had to start all over- find a new doctor- for me and baby (baby was born with birth defect). Try to work on things with dad- he just says how we deserved it- if I didnt get water/was nicer- etc. Even though have this going on- dad refuses to accept/sign paternity of baby. Visted at Christmas.

DR. took off meds for a month- OMG- hypo HELL! 10 days before RAI_ TSH was at 84. YOW! SOO TIRED! Face sweelling-legs hurting ...tingling arms/legs ...

Last week- FINALLY had RAI and arranged for aunt to watch baby- as can not be around. Dad got mad and came in and watched baby one day. Had been trying so hard to work on things with him- worried I am very sick. Dad brought his taxes with him- as e wants to claim baby and get $$- which he has not supplied anything for baby- now 9 mos old- except about $50 in things.And wants me to do taxes for HIM- and I am sick/freezing- tired ... nauseated from RAI ... and my "gully" swelled up looking like a LINEBACKER!

Other day had WBS- something lighting up near thyroid area- like circles- same sizes as bladder- which also lit up- as did my lungs. Looked diffuse/speckled and more on left side than right- but have liver on right. I just know that isnt good. Also seemed to be able to see my hips and wrists- and donno about that either. ?????

"Fiance'" decided to call before my WBS and yell at me about how I should have been nicer to he and his family- and I wouldnt have to get treated badly ... going on about an incident almost a year ago. Tells me I am happy there- just to stay there and he is sick of hearing about how I dont feel well/cancer- hope all goes well- goodbye. I tried to reach him (his cell) after my WBS and cell is off. I left VM and on his home phone. No call from him ... 2 days later he calls. Says he hasnt heard from me and thought I was dead- well you shouldve called. He says well we were fighting. Well- I am not feeling supported- in fact- each time you arent there for me and basically run the other way- so why didnt you call again? My phone ran out of battery- what about when you got home from work? The next day when you were off? SAYS- I DIDNT CALL CAUSE YOU ARE FAKING. What? (I laugh) How am I doing that? He says this is what he hates about me- I ask too many questions. ??? SO I tell him sorry he feels that way- I can put him in touch with my doctor or show him my results- silence. I tell him nothing more to say to him - I ahve more important things to fight than him- LIKE CANCER- and he obviously doesnt care and I hang up. He calls when on phone with sister (other line) and I don't answer. At a loss for words. FAKING IT?

So I am worried about my WBS- LUNG UPTAKE? Breast uptake? I donno. Any thoughts?

Thank you

Posts: 507
Joined: Apr 2010

um wow....

Personaly my wife goes to most of my endocrinology appointments so it can help her understand what I am going through. I think that is one of the only ways to make sure your loved one is informed about whats happening and what to expect.

have you found any support groups in your area?

and it sounds like your fiance refused to believe/understand whats happening to you

Personaly when I am haveing a bad day I worry that my wife will think I am fakeing it so I normaly become stuborn and overdo it and then I get yelled at for that instead.

have you talked to your doctor about the WBS results?

I understand the hypo hell prior to my RAI treatment my THS was 95.690 (got copies of all my lab results)

I am supprised he can think you are fakeing things when you had your thyroid removed and went through RAI treatment. its kinda hard to fake all of that stuff.

As far as asking too many questions. I think its just a side effect of being told you have cancer. For myself I have been determined to get copies of all my lab results and ensure I can fully understand them and understand my options as well as what meds i am on and why. Once you start doing that you realize you ask alot of questions to other people about everything since you get stuck in that mindset.

good luck, keep us informed and keep asking questions.

Posts: 582
Joined: Oct 2010

First, get rid of that******** and get some counseling. Seriously get in to see a mental health provider to help you sort this out. Tell your doctor what is going on, he will help you find resources. Go somewhere else, with family if that is possible and don't look back. Don't call, don't answer his calls and don't ask for a thing from him. This guy is causing you more stress and is non-productive to your healing process. He doesn't care that you are sick. He doesn't want to face up to reality or take responsibility, especially if he is a drunk. I have experience with his kind and believe me he probably will never change. Save yourself! It's sort of like when they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself in an airplane first and then put it on your children. This is because if you are in control and safe when you have your own oxygen, then you are better able to help your children.

Second, talk to your Nuclear Medicine Doctor about your scan and get all the facts. Don't jump to conclusions and think the worst. Ask him what the next step is. Go to your Endocrinologist and get more answers. Get on disability if you need to. Your doctors will supply you with whatever documentation you need. Most of all; don't be afraid to use every resource you have available to you. That jerk will never change and you need stability. You can provide that for yourself and your child. There is no guarantee he ever will.

Where do you live? Maybe I can help find some resources on the internet to help out.


Posts: 11
Joined: Jan 2011

This may sound harsh, but he's an absolute loser, and he doesn't care about you. Get rid of him. Then get counseling because, girl, you need it. He will drag you down with him until you shake him off like a bad case of dandruff. There are resources for you out there. Julie is right. You need to find them. Call your nearest battered women's shelter, because this is an abusive relationship. They will steer you in the right direction. So, job #1: No contact. Job #2: call a shelter. Job #3: follow through on what they tell you to do! I know it will be hard, esp. when you feel the way you do, but you MUST do it for your baby. You MUST. You also need legal advice, and they can probably hook you up with that. If they don't, call your local bar association and ask about pro bono representation. You have some decisions to make.

As far as the scan, I haven't had mine yet, but I hear you can often see uptake in random places, so don't read too much into it until you hear it from your endo. Second, worst case scenario and it's in your lungs, that is actually one of the better places to have it if you have to have distant mets. IMO the scan is the least of your concerns.

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2011

I have tried to go to the Women's center. Had 3 appts for counseling- and counselor either didn't show up- or ad something "emergency" that needed to attend to. These appts were hard for me to make it to- so am done going there.

I have found a support group- about an hour away that meets once a month for "women cancer." Most groups closer only address breast cancer. This is a rural area.

I called Dr. yesterday and no cb yet- to see if the received WBS report. I feel like I want to go right to the hospital and get it- as the waiting is awful! oy!

I did file for SSI. Waiting on that too- It took me forever to fill the paperwork out- as not feeling well- and I just have a hard time understanding how it all works.

I cant file anything as far as baby cause judge/courts here say we have to be residents for 6 mos. (Baby was not even 6 mos old- duh .. but can't argue with the judge ...)

As far as former fiance goes- he called yesterday- Vday and I answered- and he was nice- swears he mailed me a gift. (I had gotten him a card and candy.) I do try to be the better person- as no matter what I think of him- I am not well and do not know what my future holds. I want him to be a better person/father for my baby's sake. BUT I ALSO want to be and feel better too. So I guess I do have to turn my back on him and hope that he does change- as that is the only way right now. He can be a good father when he puts in the effort ... is around ... mostly immature and self centered. But the faking comment - I don't understand and it doesn't really matter what he thinks. If he cared- he would be there at my appts ... or at least call or not say stupid and mean things ...

I am taking on the attitude that: If you aren't for me ... then you are against me ...

Thanks for the comments and advice ... sometimes you feel alone and like no one else ever went thru this ...

Posts: 507
Joined: Apr 2010

Dose the woman’s center have a comments/complaints box if so I would say you need to fill one of those out. I can see your counselor missing 1 appointment... or maybe 1 a quarter if you see them regularly but 3 of 3 is just wrong.

Yes it is hard to find support for thyroid cancer the support group i go to has 1 breast cancer, 1 bladder cancer, 1 ovarian cancer, 1 prostate cancer and me being the thyroid cancer... we are a small group but we can discuss anything and every now and then we get a new person or a person who just found out about us.

There is a thyroid cancer group that meets 1 a month across the sound (need to take a ferry there) and to be honest I just don’t feel up to spending 1 hour each way on a ferry + $50(total) just to go to a support meeting, but it is there if I need it.

The hospital I end up going to for endocrinology is 1 hour away and I totally understand the problems with driving for meetings. Lucky for me there is a closer hospital in the same group that I can get copies of my scans as well as all my lab reports.

Some of my friends are on SSI so I have heard how much a pain those forms are.

I cant file anything as far as baby cause judge/courts here say we have to be residents for 6 mos. (Baby was not even 6 mos old- duh .. but can't argue with the judge ...)

Something about that just seems wrong there should be a way around that one.

As far as the former fiance, I think you are right trying to be the better person is the right way. Be careful though because I have seen some cases of spousal abuse caused because the one being abused wants to do things for the baby's sake.

Honestly I wonder if you former fiance heard some of the stupid comments the doc's like telling us like "you got the Good Cancer" ... "You won the Cancer Lottery"... "That’s probably the best type of cancer..." I have found that statements like that tend to make people think it’s not a big deal and so you must be faking it.

I do know a person in my area who is 9 years out of thyroid cancer so I got a lot of support from here and she explained a lot of things to my wife.

I admit it I also get annoyed about all the "Brest cancer" focus. There was a Cancer walk in my area a few months ago but they said I wouldn't qualify for the survivors lap because it was a walk to support breast cancer and they didn't want it to lose focus by adding in the other cancers. That really annoyed me.

Sometimes I feel alone with dealing with thyroid cancer cause it is such a small fraction of the number of people than Brest cancer. As far as the other "BIG CANCERS"(by cases or deaths) not many people feel seem sympathetic to lung cancer (everyone figures every case is their own fault even the people who never smoked or got a different type of lung cancer)

The other "big cancer" is prostate cancer and guess what us men don’t like talking about that it is still almost a taboo subject. But everyone talks about breast cancer.

Think of us as your support group. If you need to talk to someone I am sure most of the members here (myself included) would be glad to phone and talk about it with you.

Good luck

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2011

Thanks Craig- yes- I feel sorta discriminated by the breast cancer support- like I wanna just show up- and say can I be parta your group- I am a woman??

As far as the judge goes- he is wrong. THIS STATE HAS jurisdiction- but I will wait ... I moved/kicked out before the baby was 6 mos old- so who would have jurisdiction- what if I move again at 5.5 mos ... duh. This is ridiculous. I was worried for my health and wanted to get something legal. LUCKILY the state WILL GO after him for child support before living somewhere 6 mos ... as I did file with department of ss- as well as the courts - which got dismissed.

I do also feel for the men with testicular cancer.

I really do feel it will come back with mets to my lymph/lungs. My first hubby liked to tease me about my goiter- call me a buck in rut- quasimodo- all kinds of things. He and his gf now are very vocal/volunteer for Relay For Life. I am glad I am not with him- but have older kids- and used to have em join in the teasing- there are sick people in the world- who will NEVER be cured. )Thanks for your comments >)

Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2011

Got my results back-

nurse said all good- showed some uptake on my liver- but guess that is normal- donno why my lungs/neck lit up- but just keeping my next appt.

As for baby father- he tried to call me yesterday- I called back before I went to bed- as a courtsey to say ok- no answer- which is typical- plays his video games lat- late - late and never answers. (I call ed him for VDAY and same thing.)

Anyhow- he called 5 am this morning so I returned call 8 am to again let know ok- and he laid into me about how I can't answer the phone- well that is calling the pot black- he hung up on me and turned off cell. I wanted to tell him all ok here- but he'd rather yell at me ...

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