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Dragged Kicking & Screaming!!!!!

Charlie Butler's picture
Charlie Butler
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2011

1. Did not want to be a member of the Cancer Club
2. Things happen too fast!
3. One minute you are fine and the next you are dying, or so everyone thinks..
4. My surgeon was not a fan of VATS. Said he needed to get his hands in there. Hey this
is my chest you are talking about!
5. Surgery 6 December 2010.
6. On everyones prayer list. It will not be Cancer!!!!!!!!!!!
7. Relative drive in from as far as Kansas.
8. 35 people are there to support my wife.
9. Surgery goes extremely long, had trouble getting me intubated.
10. Doctor comes out and says "There is just no easy way to say Cancer".
11. Much screaming and crying!
12. Go to ICU intubated at 9:00 P.M.
13. Wife and sister allowed to visit at 10:00. I go into respiratory failure. Everyone,
Everyone made to leave ICU while they work on me.
14. My good lung collapses, so I get another tube in that side. Awake for this one.
ICU 3 days, floor 5, home and recovery. No mets, No chemo.
15. Ist follow up CT in March...... I hate Cancer!!!!
But, I love all of you.

Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Don't remember seeing your posts before. Sorry for what you've gone through, sounds pretty scarey. I'm sure your wife was scared too especially when you went into respiratory failure. What the heck, don't ya wonder how much more you can go through? It sounds like your a fighter, so don't give up. We love you too!!!
I started coming to this site almost a year ago and not even sure how I found it. My husband died last March from a rare side effect from Avastin which was one of the treatments he had for lung cancer. He also had lesions in his spine & brain. Had just been diagnosed in January so didn't have it very long.
Anyhow, be strong and don't give up!!! Hope your CT in March is good!!! "Carole"

Charlie Butler's picture
Charlie Butler
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2011

Thanks for all of your caring and concerned comments. I am new to cancer and so I am new to this site.

I think I must have been in a "Mad Phase" last night. I certainly don't have things as bad as many who post here. I have just had so many people tell me how lucky I am and that would make sense coming from my fellow Survivors and Caregivers. But from everyone else I have to say that I don't feel lucky!! Lucky would have been "No Cancer DX!

As I progress to becoming a "Long Time Survivor", I pledge that I will quit whining, count my blessings more.

It is amazing how I feel such a connection to those of you that post here. May God Bless each and everyone of you! God doesn't give us cancer but he can take it away. Gods will be done.

NayPaul's picture
Posts: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

It is the equal opportunity hater....glad though that u and your wife have people that care.

Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 2011

I went in for a routine physical (that had not happened for too many years) and something popped up on the chest x-ray..fast forward 2 weeks and several tests later and I found myself in surgery on December 3rd of this year having my middle lobe removed and not with the VATS procedure which is what I was hoping for..this is my first week back at work part time and it has been pretty difficult. I am staged 1a so no chemo reccomended although I am being followed by an oncologist-had my first ct scan about 10 days ago and showed all clear but a "spot" popped up on my liver so now I am scheduled for an mri on my liver-the oncologist does not beleive it's anything to worry about because my pet scan prior to surgery was clear but I am still at the point where telling me not to worry is something I still cannot do. One of the things I have struggled with is actually staying off the internet and reading all the "not so good" stories even about my diagnosis but at the same time I find comfort in the comments and support with the survivors...I am a 51 year old female who was a casual smoker (not any longer)and I am a mental health professional, it took me awhile to consent to taking an antidepressant but that certainly did help with not perseverating on the survival rate statistics, etc. How is your recovery going?

Charlie Butler's picture
Charlie Butler
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2011

I am 55 and my cancer was Adenocarcinoma Stage 1a, upper right lobe. No Vats for me either.
I am pleased with my recovery although I still have some shortness of breath and some pain and numbness.

I am so sorry about the spot on your liver and I will pray that it is "Just a Spot"!

I have a great Oncologist! He has had to deal with his own battle with throat cancer and knows what everyone is going through. Let me know how everything turns out.

Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 2011

Thanks for your good thoughts...I did want to add that even though we know we are lucky I did have a friend tell me that it was ok for me to have a "pity party" for myself to a certain extent because we have both been thru alot these past few months...I am all for looking at the positive but at the same time you and I have both been thru a major life altering surgery and diagnosis. Those who care about me are convinced that I am done with all of this and keep telling me not to worry, I am just not there yet!
I do not have any numbness and still some shortness of breath when I move around too much, what I am still feeling is like I have a bra on that is 3 sizes too small, my oncologist says that feeling may or may not go away so I am just trying to get used to it.

Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2011

Hi. Like you I a spot was found on my liver on a Ct scan. It turned out to be only a collection of blood vessels so no problem. I had VATS surgery for a cancer on my lower left lobe in Dec. The surgeon said they got it all so no further treatment is required but I do have to have follow up x-rays every three months for awhile. Good luck to you.

Posts: 66
Joined: Jan 2011

Thank You for telling me that..for some reason I am not overly concerned about this but still want to get it done, don't know if I have a good gut feeling about this or if I am still telling myself that nothing else can be wrong with me so soon-it's scheduled for monday and I will meet with the oncologist on wed for the results.

Dapsterd's picture
Posts: 291
Joined: Jun 2010

You almost do not have to write anything.....I know and we know, and understand.

The "stuff" we go through can not be described.

A small, small example....went in for a simple ct scan yesterday, 8 hours later I got out of the hospital!

We are a group who understands, with or without words....


Charlie Butler's picture
Charlie Butler
Posts: 12
Joined: Feb 2011

I think we go into detail with each other because most friends and family have no concept and we want to get things off of our chests. No one is asking for sympathy, just understanding.

I think we become changed in many ways other than physical. Everyone knows that they will die some day but, we have faced our mortality and have decided that we are going to do our best to keep the "Big C" from determining when we go.

catcon49's picture
Posts: 398
Joined: Aug 2008

I finally figured that if you took all the unlucky people in the world and put them in one category. The lucky ones (those who were detected very early stage) would rise to the top as being the luck.

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