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When Life Seemed Perfect, My World Turned Upside Down.

Posts: 4
Joined: Jan 2011

My Fiance had been complaining of a headache on the right side of his head and loss of vision on the left side, for about a week. I didnt like the sound of that so we decided to get it checked out at the local hospital. following a CT scan, they told us he had a tumour in the Occipital Lobe. He was immediately transferred to a specialist hospital and underwent a bulk removal and biopsy on 23/12/10. As it was Christmas, he was discharged on 24/12, so we could spend Christmas day together.

on 13/01/11 we met the neurosurgeon who explained it was a grade 4 gliobastoma multiforme and his prognosis was 8 - 12 months. He was then referred on to another hosptial for Chemo and Radiotherapy. The Urologist there said the treatment would extend his life expectancy to 12 - 20 months. He is due to start Chemo on 08/02/11 and Radiotherapy on 14/02/11.

Other than fatigue, physically he is okay at the moment. But mentally it is really hard. He is very positive and wants to fight this all the way. It is hard to hear that someone you love is terminally ill and more so to witness them go through it. Whatever happens, he will not be alone, I am with him every step of the way.

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Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

Seems like that is the way cancer acts. Not a gradual not feel good, it just hits hard. One day you are healthy, and the next you are in front of the dr. getting the bad news.
Good to hear he is positive, and you are with him all the way. Come here as much as you can. There are really good understanding people on here, who can encourage you.

Hugs to the both of you.

Posts: 1849
Joined: Aug 2010

My husband, who has completed treatment for his cancer, says it is definitely harder on the caregiver because the person who has cancer is so busy with the treatments.

Remember: in 12 to 20 months they may have a cure for your fiance's cancer. If not a cure, then a way for his quality of life to continue for a longer period of time. Things are happening every day in this field.

Please take care of yourself and remember that there will be times when he is up and you are down and vice versa, and then there will be times you are right in step with each other. It isn't easy but you can do it. Be gentle and patient with each other.

Let us know how things are progressing.


Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Taf, This is a tough road for both your fiance and you, so please make sure that you take care of BOTH of you. As the others have said, having a positive mindset is important and so is having a partner like you who is there by his side every step of the way. I wish you both the best. And as was said previously, there are new treatments coming out all of the time, so keep fighting.

grandmafay's picture
Posts: 1639
Joined: Aug 2009

Yes, your world be upside down. You have a new normal that is not at all normal. Many of us here have heard these terrible words. In my husbands case we were told "treatable, not curable and life shortening." The literature at the time said about 22 months. We knew we were just buying time, but we were blessed with six years. Try to take things one step at a time. Expect some really tough days and nights. Celebrate the good days and your time together. Make memories. It is the memories that help me now. It is ok to pray for a miracle, too. The more time you buy the greater the chance of a new break through or treatment. The caregivers job is a hard one. I am glad you are going to be there for your loved one. Take care of yourself. I dont always check the boards as often i once did, but feel free to PM me anytime. Also come here often to vent, ask for support, or just talk. Fay

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 2011

I so connected with your comments. My very healthy husband of twenty years was just diagnosed last Friday, out of the blue, with Stage 4 adeno-carcinoma. We don't know yet the source of the cancer, but it has spread through his lymph system. Prognosis today is not good. We are trying to stay focused on one step at a time and remain as positive as possible, but it is really difficult. Feel like we are in the middle of a tornado. In a blink, life will never be the same! Never thought being a pragmatic optimist would prove useful. Hopefully, time and positive energy are on our side.

Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Luvmyguy, I am very sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. Having been where you are just 8 months ago, I think I know exactly how you feel. I too am a pragmatic optimist and I do feel that this served me well throughout my husband Mike's battle. Stay focused, stay positive, don't be afraid to ask a lot of questions, get help from the best cancer specialists you can and make sure you have your family and friends around and up to speed to help support you both in this fight (hopefully, you have both near by). Check the discussion boards for information if/when you can not get answers from your doctors as the people here really helped me out on things that the medical community did not have answers for. I hope your husband beats this beast! As the caregiver, you will play a crucial role so make sure you take care of you too. May your husband be surrounded by a wealth of positive energy and healing.

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