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how is your doc's "bedside manner"?

pinkflutterby's picture
Posts: 615
Joined: Jun 2009

I really love my oncoloist and feel to lucky to of found her. She is always warm and welcoming and ALWAYS makes a point to touch me on the hand/shoulder back with no gloves on. The entire staff at my center is very hands on - they use gloves when necessary but also give that human touch that sometimes is so needed. When I was having the awful treatments in my spine the nurse/pa just held my hand no gloves, makes me feel like a person not a file!

Just wondering if mine are special or if its the norm.....

RE's picture
Posts: 4644
Joined: Feb 2004

I truly love my oncologist, he has always been honest, caring and forth right. When he see's me he gives me a hug and if my husband is not with me he will ask how he is and asks that I say hello for him. He takes the time to tell me what is going on and make sure that I clearly understand how I am doing or what tests he feels are needed. When I lost my sister to cancer he realized my mental state had taken a dive so he took my hands and quietly explained that her cancer journey was not my cancer journey that we are all unique as is our cancer battles. His staff has always been understanding and caring. To top all this off his wife's name is the same as mine (RENA) which is rather rare so we always have fun with that. There were times during treatment when the staff would call out "RENA" and neither one of us would answer or we both would because we would get confused, it was rather comical. So, in a nut shell my cancer sucks but my onco is great!



faith_trust_and_a_little_bit_of_chemotherapy's picture
Posts: 319
Joined: Jun 2010

an absolute *insert expletive of your choice here*, but I won't argue as he's an aggressive little S.O.B. He'd taken my case to the tumor board and had my treatment determined before I'd even had my surgery.

That rather appealed to my sense of, "OK, you're the one with the medical degree, get this @#$%! out of me now!"

...but hey, that's probably just me.

smalldoggroomer's picture
Posts: 1181
Joined: May 2010

You do have special Dr's that is a great thing and it helps immensely. Anyone that has had a bad Dr knows just how much this matters. I love my Dr's all of them and the nurses too. they are wonderful people.

Barb A's picture
Barb A
Posts: 115
Joined: Jun 2009

My first Onc was great and then I switched insurance and had to switch Oncs. The first one I went to told me "you barely had cancer, I don't know why you even come back for a follow up." I had DCIS stage 0-1. I switched to another Onc and have been with him through my second cancer in 2008. After my treatments were done, he dismissed a lot of my questions and concerns so I'm trying another Onc in that office. He is more thorough in his exams and answers my questions.

Barb A

CR1954's picture
Posts: 1393
Joined: Jul 2008

My surgeon is very...ummm..."professional" acting. She is not a warm and fuzzy type. But having said that, I have 100% confidence in her and her abilities, so that is what counts, for me.

My med. oncologist is big, strong, and has an incredible sense of humor! When he laughs, which is often, you can hear his "big bear laugh" all through the building.
Aside from that, he is very direct, but very compassionate.

My rads oncologist is a "hugger"...lol! He is so warm and fuzzy. I refer to him as my "hand holding" doctor. I enjoy my visits with him, a great deal.

I will say, that anytime that I have had a problem or a question. Anytime that I have been afraid. Anytime that I have noticed anything "different" on my body, I can call any of these doctor's offices and they call me back with an answer, with reassurance, or with an appointment to check things out, within a couple of hours. That has always impressed me...I have never been just "blown off" by any of them. They always respond.

When all is said and done, I would trust any of them, all of them with my life, and I guess that I already have!


pinkkari09's picture
Posts: 878
Joined: Sep 2009

I LOVE all of my Docs. My Onc is very thorough and explains things really well, gives me options, and the pros and cons to every option, then tells me if it were her, what she would do, I love that. My General Surgeon, he's my girlfriends (who's my OB/GYN) husband and is very careful with his "wifes friend" :), My radiologist, she doesn't talk to me much, that's bothersome. My plastic surgeon, my oh my oh my, not only is he really good, he's very nice, and very nice to look at, I'm single so I can say that LOL.
Blessed with great Docs,

Posts: 6587
Joined: Oct 2010

I used to live on boarder of CT and NYS so my doctors were in CT...I STILL travel to CT for my GYNO....he's just so great.

Posts: 6587
Joined: Oct 2010

I changed GYNO 10 yrs ago when we first moved-to female Doctor-surprisingly I did not like her bedside manor or compassion (this is prior to my cancer) after one appt I called my long time (MALE) gyno to take me back. what I LIKE the best about him, he takes you in his office to chat about family, medical etc..then I go into exam room. After the exam back to his office. IT JUST seems so personal and caring... the lady doctor walked in, examined me and out the door.(even on first evaluation-and was my last)

lori1961's picture
Posts: 56
Joined: Oct 2010

My oncologist is awesome. He answers all my questions and is very caring, He does not want me to be in any unneccessary pain if I do not have to be. I was having a problem with my last chemo and he immediately changed my meds to help me through it. We will see how it works on Tuesday when I go for treatmetn number 3.

carkris's picture
Posts: 4554
Joined: Aug 2009

I'll just say"its complicated"

Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

She knows what she is doing. I have confidence in her as a doctor. She isn't very compassionate, she is all business.

fauxma's picture
Posts: 3581
Joined: Dec 2008

I have been more than happy with all of my doctors. They listen, answer questions, treat me with respect and just plain care. Some are huggers, some are not, but they are all warm. I l had the least contact with my surgeon and she was good, thorough but more aloof but she was good at her job and I only saw her once before surgery for the consultation, at th hospital before the surgery, and for a follow up after surgery. My radiation doctor was very kind and sweet but mostly I saw the techs and staff. I was given the choice of doing my follow ups alternating between him and the oncologist and I chose to see the onc. If there are ever issues with long term affects from the radiation I can see him anytime. I just prefer to go to the same doctor every time for the follow ups. My 1st onc was so sweet and caring and when we moved I was fortunate to find a new onc that could be her clone. Seriously, they look alike and their manners is identical. I also see a gyn onc yearly and she is my favorite. She is a nurse practioner that absolutely is the best medical person I have ever seen. I travel an hour and a half to see her but I would drive three hours each way if I had to, she is that great. She is the one person that I didn't change when we moved here. My urologist is really great but since we are in Alameda I decided to go to one that is closer. So in May I will be seeing a new doctor and knock on wood that whoever it is will be as good as all the others. I like my new PCP very much but my last one was amazing. He combined the western medicine with the alternative. He taught me great breathing techniques, herbs, etc. He was very spirtual and we often talked about the philosophical aspects of disease. I loved his style. But the new one is very caring and thorough and is on top of everything so I am happy with him. All in all I feel I am receiving the best care possible. I think the doctor/patient relationship is so important. For some a huggy happy doctor is a good fit, for others they prefer the no nonsense totally professional approach. But whoever we see for our medical care, the most important thing is that it is a good fit for you. Someone else could see any one of my doctors and come away saying UGH, they're just awful and I could feel that way if I saw someone else's dcotors. It's a little like getting the peg in the right hole. It's ain't good if it don't fit.
I hope that everyone finds doctors that work for them. It is so vital to dealing with this disease and with any health matter.
This was a great question and really opens up a good dialog for what we each expect from our health team. Thank you for starting it.

Posts: 550
Joined: Nov 2009

I feel blessed with wonderful doctors.

cahjah75's picture
Posts: 2631
Joined: Jun 2010

My surgeon is the greatest guy. He too would touch me without gloves and really spoke to me like I was his only concern. My medical onc is very thorough, soft spoken and reserved. My radiologist/onc always has a smile on his face and is extremely caring. I have had wonderful onc nurses and rad techs too. I can't complain at all. I'm getting very good care.
{{hugs}} Char

Posts: 69
Joined: Jan 2011

I am very fortunate to have a husband who actually trained at MD Anderson and hematology/oncology are his true loves. So when I got my diagnosis during my work lunchbreak I sent him home to find me a doctor. My insurance was very nice about letting me go outside the network, guess when you mention the C work they jump. Anyhoo, he went home and researched away.

We narrowed the search to two onc. The first was really nice, but at 73 with double hearing aides we worried about him being old school and not being able to hear. But his facility was really nice. The second onc we interviewed was younger and also highly recommended in the community. We got the tour and speech about how things would work. We started asking some important questions and the nurse asked if we were interviewing them or something. 5 other nurses came over from various parts of the room and literally formed a circle around us. I am not exaggerating this at all. My husband said, "Yes, as a matter of fact we are." I wanted to run as far from that place as possible. They had scheduled me already to go get my port put in so when they started talking about that we had a few questions. The nurses were unable to answer some pretty basic things. Like what side should the port be on. She said she didn't know, I could ask the surgery place. Turns out, my husband works with one of the nurse's moms. When we got to the car I told my husband there was no way I would go there. I immediately called the first doc's office and went there. The next day my husband's coworker told him that the office was glad we left because they thought we were pains in the arse!

Talk about meant to be. We get to the first onc's office and a nurse approaches us. She and my husband start looking at each other. Turns out she was one of the dialysis nurses who worked with him two years ago. She was one of the best and he missed her. She said she would make sure I got only her when I came in. She was the best, but the other nurses were really great also.

My surgeon was harder to find. I ended up finding this lady who was new to town but had a great history in another state. She is kinda kooky which I love.

My rad was recommended by the imaging center and my onc said she was a perfect choice for me. He was glad we chose her.

For anyone, under any medical situation, I highly recommend researching your providers. Interview them. Choose for yourself. And when you have questions, ask. If the provider does not like your questions, find another provider. You hire them, you can fire them.

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