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Another round for me!

Posts: 98
Joined: Jan 2010

I am going thru the "i dont' know stages of this". I call it that cuz i dont' know why my cancer has come back. I am strong and want to get stronger. I am trying to have faith inside me that this will be last sessions of chemo and this will stay hidden......for good! I will not let this beat me, no statistic, no nothing is going to get to me, and destroy my strength.......Then I start wondering if I will make it again, am I just kidding myself and wont' make it thru. I am going to mayo clinic this week for second opinon. I trust my oncologist he suggest a trip to make sure we got this covered and hepefully make sure on right track. I am thinking strong thots, and yet times throughout day it's back to being angry and hurt how could this return. I got the uterous taken out a year ago, along with appendiz that was affected by it. How come after 6 sessions of chemo, and only about 7 months of remission did this happen. Did i eat something, or not enough sleep or??? questions go on forever. I am losing my power to fight this sometimes, other times i say no your not thinking this way,,, am strong and going to beat this and keep it away.
I find this emotionally draining even second time around... one lady told me I was a "survivor and fighter" I said thank you to her, at the time I didnt' feel it...and days when I do and days again when I don't. What i want is each day to have great mental strength, being so strong that nothing will break thru and no more negative thots.. Thank u for listening......

Posts: 1849
Joined: Aug 2010

Survivor and fighter - hmmmm....sounds to me like that is just not good enough for you and I can see why.

You a describing a person who wants to not only survive, but, instead to thrive.

I believe you will do that because of your mental attitude. You are strong and will stay that way, although the strongest of people, like yourself, admit their "down" days.

Prayers being lifted for that mental strength, emotional flexibility and wonderful attitude to be continued.

You will do very well in this fight.

Hugs, tears.

Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

You have been such a fighter, and I'm so sorry you're going through this again, but please don't give up your fight. Do you have someone there helping you go through this? You are a Survivor and you have to keep thinking that even though at times you feel weak. You are strong and if you need support, ask for it. And we are all here for you so you can vent to us anytime!!! Take care! "Carole"

zinniemay's picture
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Brend, So many alful things have happen in our lifes , but out of all the bad the one than I can say is I am truely blessed to have a chance to know you, and love you as a friend. I have no magic words and surely no fancy words of wisdom to offer you. I can say you are my friend. I care about you. I know you are a good and kind person and I am so glad that we are friends. I wish I could go with you and hold your hand!
God answrs prayers then he knows how much I need you in my life ! I will be with you in heart ...
Your friend

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