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Life is fair???

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

My wife has been fighting NET for almost 3 years now. Her car blew up, she is having surgery on her eye for rentnal opathy or how ever you spell it (at least I don't have to worry about her seeing to drive), and now her Dad has DZ with liver cancer. I wonder why she's been down in the dumps? I am praying that my mom in law will be a good caregiver. She will have all the help that we can give her. Does anyone know who said life is fair I would really like to punch them. I'm just glad that all this has not affected me...

Posts: 1846
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm sorry for all that is going on in your family's life. It's tough, I know.

Secondly, this is a good place to come and rant.

Feel free.

lovingwifedeb's picture
Posts: 184
Joined: Aug 2010

Ha! Ha! Ha! and I'm not laughing at your expense Mr. Steve! This has been a very VERY heavy day at my house and I just read your post... we all have our stories, some stories sadder than others. I was just wondering if I would ever see my smile again and wham... you brought me one! I am sorry about your wife, her dad, my husband and everyone on this board who is affected by cancer. I'm sorry about the shadow casted over our lives and how it has changed us forever. I am sorry most of all that we have lost our smiles, hopefully we can find them...

The person who said "life is fair" is probably the same one who said

- Take in one day at a time
- Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it
- Life is like an onion. You peel it off layer by layer and sometimes you cry
- Never let a problem become an excuse
- Experience is the best teacher
- Take time to smell the roses
- There is always next year
- We'll cross that bridge when we come to it
- When we love - we grow
- When you get lemons, make lemonade
- Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow

probably my most favorite... "it wouldn't happen if there wasn't a reason"

Today I hate these sayings! Hopefully tomorrow "we" can see a better day.

Peace to you Mr. Steve and your family

lovingwife to Bob, melanoma stage 4

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

What dosen't kill you only makes you stronger....

You and Bob stay strong. and remember smile...it makes them wonder what you've been upto.

lovingwifedeb's picture
Posts: 184
Joined: Aug 2010

I will try yo remember that as I head back to work this morning. It's been a long week of worry over my husband and his brain surgery... No patience for others not doing their own jobs!

And I do worry that my husband doesn't over does it at home when I'm not here to watch over his activities.

I haven't even left yet and I'm already hoping for my day to be over... Oh boy!

Peace to you,
lovingwife to Bob, stage 4

debbieg5's picture
Posts: 170
Joined: Nov 2010

Sorry to hear about all your problems Steve. The thing is...no one ever did say that life is fair. My husband had a lot of anger as he dealt with his throat cancer. It is typically a disease that strikes heavy smokers and drinkers of which he was neither. He kept saying "why me?". I told him, why not you? Why do things happen to anyone? some things are our fault, but others can't be explained. Our job is just to deal with what life gives us in the best way we can. I wish the best for your wife and FIL.

Cindy Bear
Posts: 570
Joined: Jul 2009

Life isn't fair.. in fact, it's very unfair most of the time and Cancer sucks.. is really does. I have always hated platitudes.. hate them even more after losing my mother, FIL and BIL, all in a 2 yr period.. 2 of them to cancer. I cringe when people say things like "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" I'm walking proof that he does, "God closes a door, he opens a window" Big deal, and the old, "It's for the best and when your time is up, your time is up" Easy to say when it's not your loved one. Please hang in there. I think most of us are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. (hoe that doesn't sound platitudey)

mswijiknyc's picture
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

If life was fair, I'd have 2 kids, my husband 100% normal healthy and working, 2 cars in the garage, and a 3 carat diamond wedding set.

Since I don't have this, you can see how fair life is. ha ha.

The only platitudes I have to offer actually work for me because they are based in some reality:
-It is what it is. Can't change it, so I just deal with it.
-Go with the flow. I can't stop the ocean from coming, so I ride the waves as best I can.
-The only person I can control is myself. Ok that isn't so much a platitude as much as a fact.

This absolutely stinks. No way around it. But hang in there. We're here if you need to vent.

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