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liver and bone cancer and colon cancer

Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2011

My husband woke up with stomach pain. A week and a half later, he had surgery for colon cancer. 2 days after the surgery, his mind went around the bend. The doctors said his calcium level was 18 and should be between 7 & 9. He hasn't known anyone, including me (I've known him for 19 years and married for 17), for almost 2 weeks. 4 days later they told me he also had neuroendocrin carcenoma in his liver and bones. They say he only has months or less to live. I need to find someone else who has had experience with these two kinds of cancers at the same time. He can't walk anymore so they want him to go to rehab for 2 weeks until he starts chemo. Knowing my husband, he would rather be as strong as possible for as long as possible instead of being sick from the chemo. Any advice or experience with any of this is greatly appreciated. He is only 60 years old. I feel all alone since his family is 1000 miles away.

Any help is all I can ask.

Thanks, Sonya

JoanieP's picture
Posts: 573
Joined: Mar 2010

Sonya, I am never been on this section as I had NHL in 2009 but I read your post and wanted to respond. If you are a wonman of faith , the only thing I know for sure is that God's strength will get you through this. HE got me through my ordeal. I would ask your husband what he wants. does he want chemo or be on pain meds and stay home? His voice is so important. May God wrap his loving arms around you in this most difficult of times. Joanie

Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2011

Sonya, I am so sorry.

I do not have neuroendocrin carcinoma, but I have been in treatment for over a year for "carcinoma of unknown primary source" and have metastases in liver, lungs, kidneys, and now bones. I must tell you that I have been incredibly healthy during most of the treatment because I started out very strong, but some of the side effects have been extremely difficult (nausea, mouth sores, chemo brain, especially). I have also been very agressive about alternative therapies to stay healthy. (Acupuncture, Reiki, yoga, holistic nutrition, etc.)

I can only imagine how difficult and shocking your husband's sudden illness must be.

Not sure I am brave enough to offer you any "advice," but perhaps my experience will help you somehow:

I have just made the decision to stop chemotherapy because it is now interfering with my quality of life, doing me far more harm than good. This was a very, very easy decision for me and for my family. They do not have a need for me to sacrifice my health in the interest of "treatment at any cost." The last (of three!) chemo protocol I was on had only a 20% chance of success. Furthermore, "success" was defined at perhaps 50% improvement. I am not desperate to eke out a few more days, weeks or even months at such a great cost.

Each chemo treatment has different side effects and I don't presume to know what your husband would experience, but that might be something to consider.

Sonya, you said you believe your husband would want to be as strong as possible for as long as possible. I feel the same way and have managed my treatment with this in mind. I celebrated my 50th birthday in October when I officially outlived my life expectancy (according to the statistics). It was a great party.

I trust you will advocate for your husband from your heart and make decisions that are loving and life-affirming. There are things far worse than death, and life is too beautiful not to live as joyfully as we can every day.

Peace to you and your husband,

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